Dr. Keenan called at around 3:45 pm. I was getting nervous as it was getting late and had yet to get a phone call.
It's officially over. The test came back negative. I asked him what my beta number was, and he said it was undetectable. Great.
Not sure what is next for us. I will have a post transfer consult with Dr. Keenan on June 4th. I think we are pretty much done with NEDC, since this is our third and last try. NEDC allows only 3 tries per pregnancy.
Thank you for supporting and praying for Babe and I this entire time. I think we will go watch the new X-Men movie tonight, just to occupy my brain with something non-baby related. I did a short round of crying already, but I'm sure bedtime tonight will be the worst.
Showing posts with label beta. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beta. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Monday, May 26, 2014
1st Beta In The Morning
It's finally here. It really does come down this THIS. Tomorrow, Tuesday at 9:30 am CST I will have my first beta (pregnancy test) for this May transfer.
The local clinic will draw my blood, send it to the lab, and the results will be faxed to NEDC. I won't get the results from the local clinic, but instead will have to wait till the afternoon to hear the official result. I'm a little nervous about getting the result from the new NEDC nurse. So far, I have not been impressed with her. One of the NEDC mamas that I met in Knoxville had her beta on Friday. She called the clinic Friday afternoon and found out that the nurse had already left for the day without calling her with the results of her beta. Can you imagine what it's like waiting for the results and not getting it?
When I was in Knoxville for my transfer I met up with 3 other NEDC mamas that had transfers around the same time, two 2 days before me, and one 2 days after me. So far, one has been confirmed with a positive pregnancy with a good first beta number. Two more took HPTs (home pregnancy tests); one is unofficially pregnant, and the other unofficially not pregnant. 50% of us are pregnant so far, so where will I fall in this numbers game?
I am the only one that has not taken a HPT. I don't plan on taking one unless I find out that I am pregnant, just so I have proof. Tomorrow, I'm sure NEDC will be super busy with the effects the holiday weekend traffic. All four of us NEDC May transfer mamas will have our betas tomorrow, three with first betas and one a second beta.
Not much has changed since my post about doubting that I am pregnant. Ok, maybe I don't feel as low as I did when I wrote the post nor do I feel the impending sense of doom anymore. I am still not feeling super excited about my beta. I want to know the result, but also super nervous about the result.
When I wrote the post, I felt not pregnant. There is a difference between NOT FEELING pregnant, and feeling NOT PREGNANT. Do you know what I mean? I felt NOT PREGNANT then, now I am not so sure. I know pregnancy symptoms or lack of mean nothing this early.
Last night, I spent some time reading my posts from back during my November and January transfers and how the beta numbers played out, reliving the roller coaster of emotions. It's interesting to see the progression of emotions, of how positive I was in my first transfer, and then how more and more guarded I was/am since. I am praying with all my heart that I do not have to go through the heartache of another chemical pregnancy. Though it would be even more crushing if the results came back negative all together.
There is a lot at stake here. A. LOT. If this doesn't work, we are done working with NEDC. We are only allowed 3 tries at NEDC. I know many people say three times a charm, and know of at least 2 other NEDC mamas that have had success on their third try at NEDC (twins and triplets!). I feel like I have always been a number, falling on the wrong side of the statistics. But we shall see how things go tomorrow. Not sure what our next path will be if this doesn't work.
I have also been thinking a lot of the donor family from this transfers. We have not had any direct contact with them yet, going through the counselor so far. We plan to only have communication once there is a pregnancy, and they understand our desire to do so. I am hoping that this is the family that we will an open relationship with as our family grows.
My beta is in less than 12 hours. I would appreciate prayers for tomorrow as me and 3 other NEDC mamas get our betas. I am humbled to know that I have many, many people praying for me, not just for this transfer but also in the past, and have been supporting me for a long while. So thank you.
The local clinic will draw my blood, send it to the lab, and the results will be faxed to NEDC. I won't get the results from the local clinic, but instead will have to wait till the afternoon to hear the official result. I'm a little nervous about getting the result from the new NEDC nurse. So far, I have not been impressed with her. One of the NEDC mamas that I met in Knoxville had her beta on Friday. She called the clinic Friday afternoon and found out that the nurse had already left for the day without calling her with the results of her beta. Can you imagine what it's like waiting for the results and not getting it?
When I was in Knoxville for my transfer I met up with 3 other NEDC mamas that had transfers around the same time, two 2 days before me, and one 2 days after me. So far, one has been confirmed with a positive pregnancy with a good first beta number. Two more took HPTs (home pregnancy tests); one is unofficially pregnant, and the other unofficially not pregnant. 50% of us are pregnant so far, so where will I fall in this numbers game?
I am the only one that has not taken a HPT. I don't plan on taking one unless I find out that I am pregnant, just so I have proof. Tomorrow, I'm sure NEDC will be super busy with the effects the holiday weekend traffic. All four of us NEDC May transfer mamas will have our betas tomorrow, three with first betas and one a second beta.
Not much has changed since my post about doubting that I am pregnant. Ok, maybe I don't feel as low as I did when I wrote the post nor do I feel the impending sense of doom anymore. I am still not feeling super excited about my beta. I want to know the result, but also super nervous about the result.
When I wrote the post, I felt not pregnant. There is a difference between NOT FEELING pregnant, and feeling NOT PREGNANT. Do you know what I mean? I felt NOT PREGNANT then, now I am not so sure. I know pregnancy symptoms or lack of mean nothing this early.
Last night, I spent some time reading my posts from back during my November and January transfers and how the beta numbers played out, reliving the roller coaster of emotions. It's interesting to see the progression of emotions, of how positive I was in my first transfer, and then how more and more guarded I was/am since. I am praying with all my heart that I do not have to go through the heartache of another chemical pregnancy. Though it would be even more crushing if the results came back negative all together.
There is a lot at stake here. A. LOT. If this doesn't work, we are done working with NEDC. We are only allowed 3 tries at NEDC. I know many people say three times a charm, and know of at least 2 other NEDC mamas that have had success on their third try at NEDC (twins and triplets!). I feel like I have always been a number, falling on the wrong side of the statistics. But we shall see how things go tomorrow. Not sure what our next path will be if this doesn't work.
I have also been thinking a lot of the donor family from this transfers. We have not had any direct contact with them yet, going through the counselor so far. We plan to only have communication once there is a pregnancy, and they understand our desire to do so. I am hoping that this is the family that we will an open relationship with as our family grows.
My beta is in less than 12 hours. I would appreciate prayers for tomorrow as me and 3 other NEDC mamas get our betas. I am humbled to know that I have many, many people praying for me, not just for this transfer but also in the past, and have been supporting me for a long while. So thank you.
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Doubt
It is almost 5 am. I should be sleeping right now, but I can't fall asleep. I've been tossing and turning for awhile. The sky is starting to get some light.
Last night, Babe and I stayed up and late and watched a couple of movies, including "Monuments Men" which by the way is an excellent movie. As we were getting ready for bed, for some reason I was suddenly hit with a very strong feeling of doubt. That I. Am. Not. Pregnant. Not really sure why. Maybe because:
Last night, Babe and I stayed up and late and watched a couple of movies, including "Monuments Men" which by the way is an excellent movie. As we were getting ready for bed, for some reason I was suddenly hit with a very strong feeling of doubt. That I. Am. Not. Pregnant. Not really sure why. Maybe because:
- I just don't feel pregnant. I know this means nothing because many/most people do not feel pregnant this early on, though some (very few) do. I didn't feel pregnant last time either.
- I have not had much cramping at all. Usually having cramps is a good sign as it means the embryos are implanting into the uterine lining. During my November 2 week wait, I had cramping but not in January. I can't really recall having cramp this time. Maybe some "stirrings", but nothing noticeable. So maybe this doesn't mean much either
- I did not have any implantation spotting. My November transfer, I remember very well that I had implantation spotting right around 4dp5dt. Not this time around. Most women don't experience implantation spotting, but I did back in November, and it's hard not to compare.
- This may be a TMI. One of my nipples is "flat". I don't recall in November, but in January, I noticed that my flat nipple was more "perky" like the other one during my 2 week wait. It could be due to the progesterone, or due to the fact that I was truly pregnant (though short lived) then. However, on the morning of my 2nd beta where I found out that hCG numbers had dropped, I noticed that it had gone "flat" again. I didn't think much of it until later in the day when I found out that the number had dropped that I tied those two together. Maybe it is still unrelated, but I thought it was interesting and it made sense. Well, my "flat" nipple was "perky" for a few days, but now I think it is "flat" again. Not sure what to make of it.
- I am tired most of the time, but I think I am not as fatigued as I was back in January. I would barely be able to keep my eyes open by 2 or 3 in the afternoon. It could be due to the progesterone or the fact that my body is making make a baby. I am tired, but not as fatigued as I was back in January.
All these symptoms (or non-symptoms) above are really hard to make out really. Both November and January transfers resulted in chemical pregnancies, meaning I was technically pregnant but had an early miscarriage.
But the difference between these two is in November my beta numbers went from 13 to 4 in two days, and in January my beta numbers went from 159 (high for a first beta) to 44 in 4 days. So in my mind at least, I was "more pregnant" in January. For those not familiar with beta numbers, they are supposed to double every 48 hours or so to indicate a healthy pregnancy. In both my last transfers, instead of doubling, it fell.
I have been pretty good about not wanting to take a home pregnancy test. But for some reason tonight, it has hit me really hard that I am not pregnant. No real concrete reason. Just felt it very strongly tonight. And out of the blue too.
I didn't think I was pregnant last time either, but I was, even if it was short lived. Maybe I am wrong again this time? Time to go back to bed and attempt to sleep. The birds are chirping and there is light in the sky.
Less than 2 days to beta.
Thursday, May 22, 2014
ICLW & 6dp3dt
This week is ICLW, International Comment Leaving Week. It seems that I have missed the last 2 month's ICLW and didn't even notice. Shame on me. If you are visiting for the first time, or it has been awhile since you stopped by, this is a pretty important time for me. Last Friday, Babe (i.e. hubby) and I just had our transfer of adopted embryos from NEDC. You can read about it here if you'd like. Please pray for a positive outcome as the last 2 transfer in November 2013 and January 2014 both resulted in chemical pregnancies.
Our first beta is next Tuesday, May 27th, the day after Memorial Day.
Today is 6dp3dt. Today, the embryos continue to implant into the uterine lining.
This morning I gave myself the PIO shot as Babe is traveling for work. It went pretty smoothly with no issues. I met a friend for lunch and later, another friend for coffee. By late afternoon, my right hip was really sore, so much so that I started limping. I am wondering if I maybe hit a nerve during my morning shot. By the time I got home, I could barely stand it, so I took an ibuprofen (I later found out I should have taken Tyle.nol instead!), put a hot pack on it and laid down to rest. I was super tired anyways so I took a short nap. By the time I got up, the pain has subsided a bit and was more bearable.
Not long after that, I had to give myself the evening PIO shot. I do my evening shots on my left hip. To relax the muscles of my left leg and hip, I had to put my most of my weight on my right leg, the leg where my hip was sore from this morning's shot. It was not fun trying to twist my body to the left, using my left hand to give myself a shot, AND putting my weight on the sore leg. In the end, I managed. I'm hoping my left hip will not give me too much trouble tonight and that the pain on my right hip will be gone tomorrow.
So far, no real symptoms. No real cramping either, maybe just some uterine "stirrings". Not sure if that is a good or bad thing.
5 more days to our first beta test!
Friday, March 28, 2014
This Is Hard
This last couple of days have been pretty hard.
Yes, things have gone well with the donor family and the open donation agreement. I am now just waiting for my May transfer date, and for my protocol so I can order and start my meds.
On the other hand, there has been a lot of pregnancy updates on the embryo adoption Face.book group, blogs, as well as emails from those that I am blog friends with. So far, all have been positive...... two lines on the home pregnancy tests and good beta numbers. A few are NEDC mamas who just had their March transfers. Sounds like March was a good month at NEDC. Can't help but wonder, would I have had a good outcome too if I had been able to get on the March transfer cycle?
The hard about all this is, yes I am truly happy for those who are getting good news. I have been through a similar journey and I really want them to be successful in their pregnancies. But as any of us that have been through the infertility journey know, we all feel the pang of hurt and the feeling of "Why not me?" It sucks to have to go through feeling like a fake because you say things like, "Congrats!" or "So happy for you!" because while you do truly mean it, at the same time, you feel hurt. And jealous.
The worse part of it all, because of my last transfer in January where I had a high initial beta number and then was devastated when I found out at my second beta that it had dropped dramatically, I want to yell "Be cautious! Don't get too excited, because it can still all go to hell!"
But of course I don't. I know it is unusual for a high initial beta to drop after a few days. Though it can happen, I know what happened to me is not common. So I don't say anything but be supportive of their good news. Chances are, their good news will stay good and eventually be great news.
I think this is hitting me especially hard because I know my May transfer at NEDC will be my last if it is not successful. There is a lot at stake here, and a lot of pressure. After so much consideration in making the decision to pursue embryo adoption, it is a hard to give it up.
So, if you are reading this and have a positive pregnancy test or beta number, please be assured that I truly am happy for you and pray that your pregnancy continues to go well.
I still just need to be sad for myself. At least for now.
Yes, things have gone well with the donor family and the open donation agreement. I am now just waiting for my May transfer date, and for my protocol so I can order and start my meds.
On the other hand, there has been a lot of pregnancy updates on the embryo adoption Face.book group, blogs, as well as emails from those that I am blog friends with. So far, all have been positive...... two lines on the home pregnancy tests and good beta numbers. A few are NEDC mamas who just had their March transfers. Sounds like March was a good month at NEDC. Can't help but wonder, would I have had a good outcome too if I had been able to get on the March transfer cycle?
The hard about all this is, yes I am truly happy for those who are getting good news. I have been through a similar journey and I really want them to be successful in their pregnancies. But as any of us that have been through the infertility journey know, we all feel the pang of hurt and the feeling of "Why not me?" It sucks to have to go through feeling like a fake because you say things like, "Congrats!" or "So happy for you!" because while you do truly mean it, at the same time, you feel hurt. And jealous.
The worse part of it all, because of my last transfer in January where I had a high initial beta number and then was devastated when I found out at my second beta that it had dropped dramatically, I want to yell "Be cautious! Don't get too excited, because it can still all go to hell!"
But of course I don't. I know it is unusual for a high initial beta to drop after a few days. Though it can happen, I know what happened to me is not common. So I don't say anything but be supportive of their good news. Chances are, their good news will stay good and eventually be great news.
I think this is hitting me especially hard because I know my May transfer at NEDC will be my last if it is not successful. There is a lot at stake here, and a lot of pressure. After so much consideration in making the decision to pursue embryo adoption, it is a hard to give it up.
So, if you are reading this and have a positive pregnancy test or beta number, please be assured that I truly am happy for you and pray that your pregnancy continues to go well.
I still just need to be sad for myself. At least for now.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Beta #3 Result
It's officially over.
The beta this morning came back at 20. Dropped from 159 on Thursday, 44 yesterday and now, 20. It's another chemical pregnancy/early miscarriage.
This has been the hardest thing I've had to deal with so far. We were ecstatic just a few days ago thinking we will finally be parents after almost trying for 10 years. Now we are crushed. This feels like a cruel joke.
I will have a phone consult with Dr. Keenan on Thursday. We'll have to wait and see what his thoughts are.
Not sure what the next steps are. So much to consider.
The beta this morning came back at 20. Dropped from 159 on Thursday, 44 yesterday and now, 20. It's another chemical pregnancy/early miscarriage.
This has been the hardest thing I've had to deal with so far. We were ecstatic just a few days ago thinking we will finally be parents after almost trying for 10 years. Now we are crushed. This feels like a cruel joke.
I will have a phone consult with Dr. Keenan on Thursday. We'll have to wait and see what his thoughts are.
Not sure what the next steps are. So much to consider.
Monday, February 3, 2014
Beta #2 Result
Unfortunately, it is not good news.
Beta #2 came back at 44, dropping from 159 on Thursday. They would have expected my number to be in the 500's or higher today. It is probably another chemical pregnancy.
Dr. Keenan was surprised at the number today as the first one was so high for a first beta. He wants me to go back for another beta tomorrow, just in case there was a mistake. So I continue my Es.trace and PIO for yet another day, just in case.
I am in shock right now. Here we were over the moon, guessing if we would have one or two babies coming. And now, we find out there will be none.
Please keep Babe and I in your prayers. Right now I'm not even sure what to ask for specifically in prayer..... A miracle? Comfort? Direction? All of the above?
Ugh... this sucks so bad on so many levels!
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Beta #2 Tomorrow
Tomorrow (Monday) morning I go back for my second beta. My first beta on Thursday was 159. NEDC wants to see the number quadruple tomorrow for this pregnancy to be viable and healthy. The beta number is supposed to double every 48 hours and since I had to wait till Monday because of the weekend, they want to see then number to be in the 500's or higher since it would have been 4 days since my first beta.
Last night, as I was laying in bed trying to sleep, I started to worry.
What if my beta doesn't quadruple on Monday?
What if there is an empty sac instead of a baby at the 6 week appointment?
What if there is no heartbeat at the 9 week appointment?
What if I have a miscarriage?
A lot of things can still go wrong!
After being on this infertility journey for so long, and having so many friends that have experienced miscarriages and losses including myself, I can't help by worry about such things. People that have not gone through this do not have such worries. Pregnancy is usually a rosy and happy journey for them. And most won't understand or relate to why people like me would worry so much. But if you are/were like me, you know what it's like. You understand.
As I was laying there unable to sleep, I began to pray. I asked God.... no I BEGGED Him to please let this pregnancy stick. Please please let me have a great beta number tomorrow, and for this be a healthy and viable pregnancy. I've come so far and I don't know if I want to do this all over again if something bad happens.
And you know what? He gently reminded me again that He is in control. There is nothing that I can do to prevent or cause a miscarriage. He has blessed me with a miracle and I should relish and enjoy my pregnancy. I need to just let go and trust in him. No matter what happens, he's got it. He is in control.
That really comforted me. And at the same time, annoyed me because I still feel the need to be in control. I realize now that this has been an area that I have struggled with for so long. He is still working on this in me.
It is freeing to know that I can just let go. I'm still learning to truly trust God and lean on Him and His plans for me.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"
- Jeremiah 29:11
Please continue to pray for us and our 2nd beta tomorrow. I will update you when I hear from Katie in the afternoon.
Last night, as I was laying in bed trying to sleep, I started to worry.
What if my beta doesn't quadruple on Monday?
What if there is an empty sac instead of a baby at the 6 week appointment?
What if there is no heartbeat at the 9 week appointment?
What if I have a miscarriage?
A lot of things can still go wrong!
After being on this infertility journey for so long, and having so many friends that have experienced miscarriages and losses including myself, I can't help by worry about such things. People that have not gone through this do not have such worries. Pregnancy is usually a rosy and happy journey for them. And most won't understand or relate to why people like me would worry so much. But if you are/were like me, you know what it's like. You understand.
As I was laying there unable to sleep, I began to pray. I asked God.... no I BEGGED Him to please let this pregnancy stick. Please please let me have a great beta number tomorrow, and for this be a healthy and viable pregnancy. I've come so far and I don't know if I want to do this all over again if something bad happens.
And you know what? He gently reminded me again that He is in control. There is nothing that I can do to prevent or cause a miscarriage. He has blessed me with a miracle and I should relish and enjoy my pregnancy. I need to just let go and trust in him. No matter what happens, he's got it. He is in control.
That really comforted me. And at the same time, annoyed me because I still feel the need to be in control. I realize now that this has been an area that I have struggled with for so long. He is still working on this in me.
It is freeing to know that I can just let go. I'm still learning to truly trust God and lean on Him and His plans for me.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"
- Jeremiah 29:11
Please continue to pray for us and our 2nd beta tomorrow. I will update you when I hear from Katie in the afternoon.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Beta Results!!
WE'RE PREGNANT!
I can hardly believe it myself! When Katie the NEDC nurse told me that I am pregnant, I actually yelled "Yes!!" on the phone. It was kind of embarrassing.
My beta came in at 159 at 9dp5dt. Katie said they usually like to see the numbers come in between 75 - 100. If it was more than 100 that would be pretty good. But mine was 159! I asked what that means, singleton or twins? She said she is usually pretty good about predicting the number of babies based on the number, but she said those in the 150's always throw her off. I guess we will have to wait until Monday for my next beta to see what my numbers are. The numbers have to double every 48 hours, and since my appointment is 4 days away, they want to see my number quadruple. That would mean my pregnancy is healthy and viable, and they would be able to tell better if there is one or two little ones in there. For now, 159 is a great number!
As soon as I got off the phone with Katie, I realized I HAD to take a home pregnancy test. I needed proof that I am pregnant! Before this, I have never been pregnant before. This is the first time I have EVER had a positive HPT in almost 10 years of trying!
I was so happy! And relieved! I still can't believe it is true. I started sobbing. And laughing. And thanking God for this miracle that he is letting me experience.
I have to admit, feeling that I had so much at stake, yesterday I emailed Angie the coordinator to find out if NEDC had received any new donor families that meet our needs since May when we were given our profiles. I received an email this afternoon from her saying she was confused as to why I was asking about profiles since I don't know my beta results yet.
Then, when Katie called this afternoon, the first thing she asked was why I had inquired with Angie about new donor families.... was I looking for backups if this transfer or if I was looking for future siblings for those embryos we already adopted? I sheepishly answered, well.... both. I didn't want to admit to her that I was worried this transfer was not going to work. Then she said let's put it this way, the only reason why you'd need to look at new donor families is if you are looking for siblings. You're pregnant! Oh man.... I can't even express how relieved/happy/excited I was! This is when I yelled "Yes!!" into the phone. Like I said, a little embarrassing. Katie.... she's such a riot. And I love her!
So this is the wonderful news we have so far. If you are like me, and have gone through the infertility journey and/or loss, you know that with every good news, we have to be cautious and have to guard our hearts and emotions, until the next milestone.
For now, Babe and I are beyond the moon about this good news! Please pray for us for good numbers again at our next beta on Monday. I am so grateful for all of you who have been praying and rooting for us this entire time.
**For those of you who know me in real life or on FB, please do not mention any of this. We have only shared this news with a few family members and close friends. Thanks**
I can hardly believe it myself! When Katie the NEDC nurse told me that I am pregnant, I actually yelled "Yes!!" on the phone. It was kind of embarrassing.
My beta came in at 159 at 9dp5dt. Katie said they usually like to see the numbers come in between 75 - 100. If it was more than 100 that would be pretty good. But mine was 159! I asked what that means, singleton or twins? She said she is usually pretty good about predicting the number of babies based on the number, but she said those in the 150's always throw her off. I guess we will have to wait until Monday for my next beta to see what my numbers are. The numbers have to double every 48 hours, and since my appointment is 4 days away, they want to see my number quadruple. That would mean my pregnancy is healthy and viable, and they would be able to tell better if there is one or two little ones in there. For now, 159 is a great number!
As soon as I got off the phone with Katie, I realized I HAD to take a home pregnancy test. I needed proof that I am pregnant! Before this, I have never been pregnant before. This is the first time I have EVER had a positive HPT in almost 10 years of trying!
I was so happy! And relieved! I still can't believe it is true. I started sobbing. And laughing. And thanking God for this miracle that he is letting me experience.
 |
| Proof that we have a little one (or two) brewing in there! |
Then, when Katie called this afternoon, the first thing she asked was why I had inquired with Angie about new donor families.... was I looking for backups if this transfer or if I was looking for future siblings for those embryos we already adopted? I sheepishly answered, well.... both. I didn't want to admit to her that I was worried this transfer was not going to work. Then she said let's put it this way, the only reason why you'd need to look at new donor families is if you are looking for siblings. You're pregnant! Oh man.... I can't even express how relieved/happy/excited I was! This is when I yelled "Yes!!" into the phone. Like I said, a little embarrassing. Katie.... she's such a riot. And I love her!
So this is the wonderful news we have so far. If you are like me, and have gone through the infertility journey and/or loss, you know that with every good news, we have to be cautious and have to guard our hearts and emotions, until the next milestone.
For now, Babe and I are beyond the moon about this good news! Please pray for us for good numbers again at our next beta on Monday. I am so grateful for all of you who have been praying and rooting for us this entire time.
**For those of you who know me in real life or on FB, please do not mention any of this. We have only shared this news with a few family members and close friends. Thanks**
Beta In The Morning
This is it. It all comes down to this. My beta test is tomorrow morning at 9:40 am CST. The clinic will take my blood, send it to the lab, and fax the results to NEDC. So I probably won't hear from Katie with the official results until about 3 pm in the afternoon.
I've been nervous about my beta, but for the first time I am not only nervous but actually stressed out about this.
I know I should be positive/optimistic about this transfer. Odds are in my favor this time. I can't remember the exact pregnancy rate at NEDC but it's close to 50%. Since it didn't work last time, odds are in my favor this time, right?
It's hard to tell if I am even close to being pregnant. Before my last chemical pregnancy in November, I had never been pregnant before. At least in November I had some implantation spotting. Nothing this time. I don't feel pregnant. I don't feel anything.
There is a lot at stake here. If I am not pregnant from this transfer, there are a lot of things that will need to happen.
I've been nervous about my beta, but for the first time I am not only nervous but actually stressed out about this.
I know I should be positive/optimistic about this transfer. Odds are in my favor this time. I can't remember the exact pregnancy rate at NEDC but it's close to 50%. Since it didn't work last time, odds are in my favor this time, right?
It's hard to tell if I am even close to being pregnant. Before my last chemical pregnancy in November, I had never been pregnant before. At least in November I had some implantation spotting. Nothing this time. I don't feel pregnant. I don't feel anything.
There is a lot at stake here. If I am not pregnant from this transfer, there are a lot of things that will need to happen.
- We have 2 embryos left. That means we need to be matched with another donor family as NEDC wants us to have at least 5 or 6 embryos on hand during a transfer, in case some of the embryos do not survive the thaw.
- That means we will need another ODA (open donation agreement) with the new donor family. That means it will take more time and additional fees for the ODA.
- We will have to wait till May to do the next transfer because of selecting the new family and the time needed to work with the new family on the new ODA.
- Because NEDC requires everyone to have a current home study, we will have to update our home study as our current one expires in April. Not sure how long that will take. And of course additional time and fees.
Sigh...... I know I should not be worried. Or stressed.
I know that again, God is in control, and whatever happens, He's got it. He has a plan for me. I just need to let go and trust.
Please pray for my beta result, and for peace and patience during the wait. Pray also for safety as tomorrow we are under a winter storm warning, with 1 - 5 inches of snow expected during the morning rush hour. Just in time for my drive to the clinic.
Thanks!
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
I. MUST. RESIST.
This is sitting in my linen closet. ONE pregnancy test left. I am not going to test before my beta tomorrow. I didn't last transfer, and I will not again this time.
Only ONE day left to my beta test.
I. MUST. RESIST.
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| Temptation in the linen closet! |
I. MUST. RESIST.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
7dp5dt
Today is 7dp5dt (7 days post 5 day transfer). I can't really believe that it has been a weeks since my transfer.
Only 2 more days to my beta on Thursday. A lot of people feel like the 2WW (2 week wait) to the pregnancy test is unbearable. For me it has been OK. I have tried not to think too much about it. People have asked how I am feeling so far. I'm feeling OK, not super optimistic, but also not defeated (yet). Honestly, I feel kinda....... meh. In a way, I want to get the the beta ASAP so I can just find out what the result is. On the other hand, I don't really want to know.
I have to admit that I have experienced "embryo envy" this transfer. At my last transfer in November, I had two "excellent" embryos graded at 4AA and 6AA. This time, they were "great" at 3AA, "good' at 2AB, and 2BC which probably wouldn't survive. I can't help but think if I had such great embryos last time and it didn't work, how is this time's embryos gonna fair? To be fair, a few other EA mamas that have told me that their lower grade embryos have turned out to be wonderful babies. And sometimes even their best quality embryos did not result in babies. So I guess, I should not give up.
During my last transfer, at 4dp5dt, I had some pretty strong cramping and implantation spotting. It was the first time I had ever experienced implantation spotting. But in the end I had a chemical pregnancy. Still it was the first ever and ONLY pregnancy symptom I've ever had. This time around, I have felt nothing. I am aware that because my embryos were not as expanded as the last transfer's it may take a bit longer for the embryos to implant. I keep hoping I will feel some cramping or have some implantation spotting. Or sore boobs. Or nausea. But so far, nothing. The only thing that could possibly come close to a "symptom" is me being really tired. I have been sleeping in lately, and even then I am tired by the afternoon and need an afternoon nap. Maybe it's just the progesterone.
I found out that another NEDC mama who had her transfer 3 days before me is not pregnant. I am really sad for her. Another NEDC mama that has her beta today took a home pregnancy test and it is positive. I'm praying that she will have a great beta number. Then on Thursday, myself and another NEDC mama who had her transfer on the same day as me, we will have our betas. We are praying that we will both be pregnant at the same time. How fun will that be.
I caved and went to this website to calculated my due date. If we are successful in getting pregnant with a singleton, our due date is October 9th, 2014. If twins, September 17, 2014.
I mentioned this to Babe, and he said, "So, September?". Hah... I think he may want twins. And I know a lot of people are actually praying for twins for us. I guess we will see.
Only 2 more days to my beta on Thursday. A lot of people feel like the 2WW (2 week wait) to the pregnancy test is unbearable. For me it has been OK. I have tried not to think too much about it. People have asked how I am feeling so far. I'm feeling OK, not super optimistic, but also not defeated (yet). Honestly, I feel kinda....... meh. In a way, I want to get the the beta ASAP so I can just find out what the result is. On the other hand, I don't really want to know.
I have to admit that I have experienced "embryo envy" this transfer. At my last transfer in November, I had two "excellent" embryos graded at 4AA and 6AA. This time, they were "great" at 3AA, "good' at 2AB, and 2BC which probably wouldn't survive. I can't help but think if I had such great embryos last time and it didn't work, how is this time's embryos gonna fair? To be fair, a few other EA mamas that have told me that their lower grade embryos have turned out to be wonderful babies. And sometimes even their best quality embryos did not result in babies. So I guess, I should not give up.
During my last transfer, at 4dp5dt, I had some pretty strong cramping and implantation spotting. It was the first time I had ever experienced implantation spotting. But in the end I had a chemical pregnancy. Still it was the first ever and ONLY pregnancy symptom I've ever had. This time around, I have felt nothing. I am aware that because my embryos were not as expanded as the last transfer's it may take a bit longer for the embryos to implant. I keep hoping I will feel some cramping or have some implantation spotting. Or sore boobs. Or nausea. But so far, nothing. The only thing that could possibly come close to a "symptom" is me being really tired. I have been sleeping in lately, and even then I am tired by the afternoon and need an afternoon nap. Maybe it's just the progesterone.
I found out that another NEDC mama who had her transfer 3 days before me is not pregnant. I am really sad for her. Another NEDC mama that has her beta today took a home pregnancy test and it is positive. I'm praying that she will have a great beta number. Then on Thursday, myself and another NEDC mama who had her transfer on the same day as me, we will have our betas. We are praying that we will both be pregnant at the same time. How fun will that be.
I caved and went to this website to calculated my due date. If we are successful in getting pregnant with a singleton, our due date is October 9th, 2014. If twins, September 17, 2014.
I mentioned this to Babe, and he said, "So, September?". Hah... I think he may want twins. And I know a lot of people are actually praying for twins for us. I guess we will see.
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Transfer Day 1/21/14 (Delayed Post)
I apologize if you have been patiently waiting for a more detailed post about our transfer. I have just been relaxing and not doing much since we got home from Knoxville.
The night before the transfer Babe and I went to the Longhorn Steakhouse for dinner. We splurged a little and I had a yummy steak and a glass of red wine. An embryo adoption mama had suggested the red wine as it is supposed to help with the transfer. After dinner, I was able to meet up with another embryo adoption mama for dessert at a cute little cupcake store. Both and her and I had the same transfer day. It was so much fun finally meeting up with another EA mama, catching up, sharing stories and for our husbands to meet another EA dad (to-be). We wished we had more time to keep chatting and hoped that we would see each other at NEDC for our transfers.
This transfer was a lot like the one in November except we were and hour later this time. Our transfer was at 12:45 pm, so I started drinking water a little earlier than last time where my bladder was not full enough and a catheter was used to fill my bladder. Not fun. At 11:45 am I took my medication for my transfer: a Va.lium, 2 Albu.terol tablets, and 3 ibuprofens.
We arrived at NEDC at 12:15 pm and were excited to see that the EA mama that we met up with last night was in recovery. Her bed was right next to mine! Of course we started chatting again which was nice as it make the time go by fast and I was more relaxed. I undressed below the waist and put on a gown and a cap. I had worn my snowflake earrings which I made a while back, the snowflake chain and pendant and a pair of Christmas snowflake socks. Babe looked and me and said, hey.... two earrings and a pendant... maybe we will have three this time! I said, don't say that, I'm not sure if I can handle triplets! Plus look at my feet.....I have a whole bunch of snowflakes on my socks. How many does that make?? We had a laugh about it.
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| Snowflake earrings that I made |
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| Snowflake pendant and necklace that Babe gave me for Christmas |
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| My Christmas snowflake socks |
Carol the embryologist came over and told us that they thawed 3 embryos from our donor family. All three survived.
- The first (A) was of "great" quality, graded at 3AA.
- The second (B) was "good", graded at 2AB.
- The third (C) did not thaw so well, graded at 2BC. She did not think this little guy was going to make it. She did mention that some part of it (I can't remember what) was already starting to disintegrate.
From my prior research, here is what the grading means at a high level. Embryos are assigned 3 separate quality scores - a number and two letters.
- The blastocyst development stage - expansion and hatching status; with a rating from 1 - 6. Excellent embryos can be anywhere from 2 - 6, with a fully expanded embryo being a 5, and a hatched embryo being a 6.
- The inner cell mass (ICM) score or quality; with a rating of A-C. This is what becomes the baby.
- The Trophectoderm (TE) score or quality; with a rating of A-C. This is what becomes the placenta.
To read more about what exactly this means, you can read more about it at this website.
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| Embryo A graded at 3AA, Embryo B graded at B2AB, and Embryo C graded at 2BC |
So we transferred three embryos - one "great" (A), one "good" (B) and one that will probably not make it (C). To be honest, I was a little disappointed at the quality of the embryos. At our last transfer, we transferred two "excellent" embryos - 4AA and 6AA. It's hard not to get disappointed when I had such excellent embryos last time but it didn't work. I can't help but wonder, since these are not as good, will THIS work?
It was then time for me to head over to the procedure room. When I was being prepped, Katie the nurse noticed my snowflake earrings and complimented me on them. Of course I had to show off my pendant and my socks too. It was funny because the the other nurse and Dr. Keenan wanted to see them as well!
Dr. Keenan asked if I thought my bladder was full enough and I responded, I hope so. I had been drinking water for a while but it was not uncomfortably full. When Katie put the ultrasound wand on my belly, Dr. Keenan said well done! It was full! There were cheers going around which I thought was pretty funny. It was a relief for me because it was not a fun experience having your bladder pumped full with fluid. I was able to see the ultrasound image on a large screen TV. The dark blob on the top of the screen was my bladder. The middle part below the bladder where the "+" sign was my uterus, and to the left of it was the cervix.
He inserted a catheter in through my cervix and into my uterus. He told me to watch for the white line (the catheter) snaking in from the left and pointed out that was the catheter. It was only a test transfer with no embryos in it. When we were all ready, Carol passed the embryos in a catheter to Dr. Keenan through a window in the wall. I was asked my name, birthdate and how many embryos were to be transferred. Dr. Keenan inserted the catheter with the embryos into my uterus and told me to watch for the white flash of light as that's when the embryos would be transferred.
There was the flash of white light! There babies were in! I'm PUPO! The catheter was removed and Carol checked to make sure no embryos were left behind in the catheter. We were done! You can see three little white spots under the "+" sign where the embryos were place. They look like little grains of rice! I hope these little guys had a chance snuggle in nicely.
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| 3 embryos (white spots) transferred into my uterus, right below the "+" sign on the screen. |
When we left the clinic, it had started snowing. Beautiful snowflakes were falling from the sky. Coming from MN, it's not a big deal, but snowing in TN, that's something special. I hope that is a good sign for us!
We went out for a quick lunch on our way back to the hotel. When we got back, I tried really hard to respond to some texts and email, but the Va.lium was kicking my butt. I actually nodded off in the middle of texting. I gave up and took at FIVE hour nap. I was that tired. We had Italian food for dinner and stayed up watching movies. The next morning, we headed to the airport for home.
My first beta test is next Thursday, 1/30. It's less than a week a way, but I'm hoping that I will be able to keep myself busy and not obsess over every symptom, or lack of.
Prayers appreciated!
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Beta #2
My hCG from my second beta came back at a whopping 4. So instead of doubling, it dropped from 13 to 4.
I am officially no longer pregnant. I get to stop all my meds including the dreaded PIO. I should get my period in the next 3 - 7 days.
Katie said it was a chemical pregnancy, meaning an early miscarriage. In a way, I'm glad I didn't test early at home, because I might possibly have gotten a positive result, only to find out that later that I am not pregnant.
We are already planning on going back in January for another try. NEDC transfer dates in January are the 15th through the 21st. I should be getting my protocol by the end of next week and we get to do this all over again.
I am officially no longer pregnant. I get to stop all my meds including the dreaded PIO. I should get my period in the next 3 - 7 days.
Katie said it was a chemical pregnancy, meaning an early miscarriage. In a way, I'm glad I didn't test early at home, because I might possibly have gotten a positive result, only to find out that later that I am not pregnant.
We are already planning on going back in January for another try. NEDC transfer dates in January are the 15th through the 21st. I should be getting my protocol by the end of next week and we get to do this all over again.
Monday, December 2, 2013
Beta #1
I went to my local clinic for my beta this morning. It was busy at the clinic as I'm sure lots of other people were like me, having to do the beta first thing Monday morning after the holiday weekend.
After waiting anxiously, I finally got the call from Katie, the NEDC nurse at a little past 3 pm. My test came back positive. TECHNICALLY, I am pregnant. However, my hGC number only came in at 13. NEDC likes to see the number at 75 by now. So, it is not looking good. For now, we are "cautiously optimistic", Katie's words.
Katie said sometimes the embryo may take a little longer to implant and therefore the number may be low. However, I also know that I had cramping and spotting at 4 days past transfer, usually an indication that implantation was happening. I'm fairly sure it's not delayed implantation.
So now we wait for my second beta that will take place on Wednesday. If the number doubles then, then I may still be pregnant. But honestly, though I know I should remain positive, I'm fairly sure this cycle is a bust.
The good news is this is the closest I've come to being pregnant. In all my past IVFs and IUIs, my HCG numbers were 2 or less. I even took a home pregnancy test to see if it would turn positive, since Katie said that I was technically pregnant. But alas, it didn't show the 2nd line. When Babe got home from work today, he saw a very faint second line, but that was hours after I took the test. You are supposed to check only 2 minutes after.
So, we wait some more. The bad news is I have to continue taking my pain in the ass PIO shots. Only 2 more days. I can do it!
Please continue to pray for me and my beta on Wednesday. Though I'm sorely disappointed, I'm not giving up quite yet.
After waiting anxiously, I finally got the call from Katie, the NEDC nurse at a little past 3 pm. My test came back positive. TECHNICALLY, I am pregnant. However, my hGC number only came in at 13. NEDC likes to see the number at 75 by now. So, it is not looking good. For now, we are "cautiously optimistic", Katie's words.
Katie said sometimes the embryo may take a little longer to implant and therefore the number may be low. However, I also know that I had cramping and spotting at 4 days past transfer, usually an indication that implantation was happening. I'm fairly sure it's not delayed implantation.
So now we wait for my second beta that will take place on Wednesday. If the number doubles then, then I may still be pregnant. But honestly, though I know I should remain positive, I'm fairly sure this cycle is a bust.
The good news is this is the closest I've come to being pregnant. In all my past IVFs and IUIs, my HCG numbers were 2 or less. I even took a home pregnancy test to see if it would turn positive, since Katie said that I was technically pregnant. But alas, it didn't show the 2nd line. When Babe got home from work today, he saw a very faint second line, but that was hours after I took the test. You are supposed to check only 2 minutes after.
So, we wait some more. The bad news is I have to continue taking my pain in the ass PIO shots. Only 2 more days. I can do it!
Please continue to pray for me and my beta on Wednesday. Though I'm sorely disappointed, I'm not giving up quite yet.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Beta Result
Got the call from our RE this afternoon. Our result..... NEGATIVE of course. That is what I expected, so no surprise there.
I was at work when she called, but I had a few minutes to talk with her. I thought I was handling our conversation fine, but she was just being so nice that I couldn't help but start falling apart. She said we had gone through so much already with doing 3 IVF cycles with her. We've been on this journey so long, and we did everything right. I have a good functioning uterus, I ovulate regularly, my body responded well to the IVF meds, etc. But when it comes to egg quality, there just really isn't much that we can do about it.
The RE suggested we consider egg donation. She had suggested we think about it during our conference with her earlier on this cycle too. She wants me to come in and do a conference with her and discuss that option and give me more detailed information. I don't know. I think Babe and I have to make that decision on our own. She also suggested we meet up with her counselor to help us work through our next steps, and if donor egg is an option for us.
You know, I never considered donor egg as an option for us. I always just thought that our kids would either have both of our DNAs, or neither. However, now I think that's not fair to Babe. If it were the other way around, and we had male fertility issues instead of egg quality issue, I'd probably still want my DNA in our children. I think once you've gotten this far in your journey in trying to build your family, you start becoming open to other options. A few years ago, I thought I'd never do IVF. But look at us now.
I'm sorely disappointed that we are not pregnant, but I'm also not devastated. As I was driving home from work today, I realized Babe and I have not been happy in the last few years. Sure we've had some happy moments, and did some really fun stuff like traveling. But we have not been truly happy for a long time. It's hard when something important is missing from your life, and most people around you just don't understand. People are sympathetic, and try to be supportive, but unless you have or are going through infertility, you just don't understand.
We have to view our future differently now. Now that traditional IVF is no longer an option for us, our future is not so "bright" anymore. That same hope is no longer there. But it is a different kind of hope, though I am not sure yet what it is. One thing I do know and still believe in is that God has a plan for us, and that all things work for good, and according to his purpose. We just got to figure out what His plan is.
I was at work when she called, but I had a few minutes to talk with her. I thought I was handling our conversation fine, but she was just being so nice that I couldn't help but start falling apart. She said we had gone through so much already with doing 3 IVF cycles with her. We've been on this journey so long, and we did everything right. I have a good functioning uterus, I ovulate regularly, my body responded well to the IVF meds, etc. But when it comes to egg quality, there just really isn't much that we can do about it.
The RE suggested we consider egg donation. She had suggested we think about it during our conference with her earlier on this cycle too. She wants me to come in and do a conference with her and discuss that option and give me more detailed information. I don't know. I think Babe and I have to make that decision on our own. She also suggested we meet up with her counselor to help us work through our next steps, and if donor egg is an option for us.
You know, I never considered donor egg as an option for us. I always just thought that our kids would either have both of our DNAs, or neither. However, now I think that's not fair to Babe. If it were the other way around, and we had male fertility issues instead of egg quality issue, I'd probably still want my DNA in our children. I think once you've gotten this far in your journey in trying to build your family, you start becoming open to other options. A few years ago, I thought I'd never do IVF. But look at us now.
I'm sorely disappointed that we are not pregnant, but I'm also not devastated. As I was driving home from work today, I realized Babe and I have not been happy in the last few years. Sure we've had some happy moments, and did some really fun stuff like traveling. But we have not been truly happy for a long time. It's hard when something important is missing from your life, and most people around you just don't understand. People are sympathetic, and try to be supportive, but unless you have or are going through infertility, you just don't understand.
We have to view our future differently now. Now that traditional IVF is no longer an option for us, our future is not so "bright" anymore. That same hope is no longer there. But it is a different kind of hope, though I am not sure yet what it is. One thing I do know and still believe in is that God has a plan for us, and that all things work for good, and according to his purpose. We just got to figure out what His plan is.
Beta
My beta is in 7 hours.... at 8 am.
How am I feeling about it? Honestly, I'm not optimistic.
A couple of nights ago, Babe asked me if I am going to take a HPT (home pregnancy test). Surprisingly, it never even occurred to me to take one. This whole time (OK, it's only been a little over a week since my transfer) I never even thought too much about the beta or considered taking an HPT. I have just been so busy at work. I asked Babe if I should take one, but he didn't know. Neither did I. Still don't.
Well, I just checked my HPT test that has been laying in the back of my linen closet. It expires in December 2011. There's 2 in the box. It's probably going to waste. Since we started fertility treatments a while back, I've only taken a HPT once or twice. Never needed to. My period always came. I think the last time I got my period the morning of my beta, even while on progesterone.
I think my HPT is going to waste. Still can't bring myself to take it. Like Babe said earlier tonight, if we don't take it, we have at least one more night of hope.
Hope. I'm really not that hopeful. Though I am hoping I will be surprised when the nurse or RE calls with the results in the afternoon.
How am I feeling about it? Honestly, I'm not optimistic.
A couple of nights ago, Babe asked me if I am going to take a HPT (home pregnancy test). Surprisingly, it never even occurred to me to take one. This whole time (OK, it's only been a little over a week since my transfer) I never even thought too much about the beta or considered taking an HPT. I have just been so busy at work. I asked Babe if I should take one, but he didn't know. Neither did I. Still don't.
Well, I just checked my HPT test that has been laying in the back of my linen closet. It expires in December 2011. There's 2 in the box. It's probably going to waste. Since we started fertility treatments a while back, I've only taken a HPT once or twice. Never needed to. My period always came. I think the last time I got my period the morning of my beta, even while on progesterone.
I think my HPT is going to waste. Still can't bring myself to take it. Like Babe said earlier tonight, if we don't take it, we have at least one more night of hope.
Hope. I'm really not that hopeful. Though I am hoping I will be surprised when the nurse or RE calls with the results in the afternoon.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Period. Beta.
I got my period last night.
We're devastated.
The clinic wants me to go in to "triple check", just in case. Whatever.
Babe thinks we should just save the money and buy alcohol instead (for me, he doesn't drink).
I'm still going in for the beta. Just because.
This majorly sucks.
We're devastated.
The clinic wants me to go in to "triple check", just in case. Whatever.
Babe thinks we should just save the money and buy alcohol instead (for me, he doesn't drink).
I'm still going in for the beta. Just because.
This majorly sucks.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Thoughts On This IVF Cycle
In less than 10 hours, I will have my beta test. God, I hope this works.
To be honest, I am not feeling optimistic about this. I am still spotting, and I am having much stronger period-like cramps. I know, I know, I've read that many people swear their periods were coming and were shocked to find out there were pregnant. It would be great if that were me, but honestly, I'm not optimistic. I know I should stay positive, but it's hard. I'm not sure what we would do if this doesn't work.
I have been very emotional the last couple of days. I'm not sure if it's dealing with Jack's cancer surgery, being worn out from helping out, hormones, feeling really tired, or just knowing that the beta's coming up, and it could be the end of our journey. I've been weepy and have had a hard time falling asleep the last couple of nights.
I try not to think ahead, but I lay in bed wondering what if it didn't work, what then? Another round of IVF (probably not)? Adoption? Will our lives ever be full?
But what if it DID work? What would it feel like? Oh, I dare not even think about that!
I've been thinking about some stuff about this cycle for a while, so I'll put them down here.
Tomorrow will be torture!
To be honest, I am not feeling optimistic about this. I am still spotting, and I am having much stronger period-like cramps. I know, I know, I've read that many people swear their periods were coming and were shocked to find out there were pregnant. It would be great if that were me, but honestly, I'm not optimistic. I know I should stay positive, but it's hard. I'm not sure what we would do if this doesn't work.
I have been very emotional the last couple of days. I'm not sure if it's dealing with Jack's cancer surgery, being worn out from helping out, hormones, feeling really tired, or just knowing that the beta's coming up, and it could be the end of our journey. I've been weepy and have had a hard time falling asleep the last couple of nights.
I try not to think ahead, but I lay in bed wondering what if it didn't work, what then? Another round of IVF (probably not)? Adoption? Will our lives ever be full?
But what if it DID work? What would it feel like? Oh, I dare not even think about that!
I've been thinking about some stuff about this cycle for a while, so I'll put them down here.
- This cycle was much shorter. I didn't have to go on 12 days of Lu.pron, so things were happening pretty quickly. Before I knew it, I was on stims, and egg retrieval was upon us. But timing worked out perfectly for the job interview (still no news), egg retrieval, transfer, and being around to support Jack & Ellie through their difficult time.
- There was less excitement this cycle. We were more cautious. Based on our last cancelled cycle, we know that things can go wrong. We took things one step at a time.
- This time I did not even see what my estimated due date would be if I got pregnant. All I know is that it should be sometime in April. When/if I get my BFP, then I will look into it.
- I had very little side effect from the meds this time around. I was not on Lu.pron this time, so I'm sure that helped. I think the acupuncture and chinese herbs helped too.
- I went into this cycle assuming that we only had one ovary to work with. Fortunately, we were able to retrieve from both ovaries. Unfortunately, we were only able to retrieve 7 eggs from both ovaries. The last time we retrieved 8 from one ovary.
- The good news however, the quality of the 2 fertilized eggs were much better quality this time, with no fragmentation.
- We are grateful we were able to make it to transfer this time around. We hope Icsi and Dicsi will stick around for the next 9 months!
- Babe and I have been very blest to have people donate some of their unused/unneeded drugs. That saved us a pretty penny.
- I don't know what is in store for us if this cycle does not work. This may be our last try. Maybe. Is this the end of our dreams of having biological children? Would we consider adoption? I just don't know.
- Sometimes I wonder if we should have done the shared risk program. We did have some insurance coverage, but it covered only one cycle. I am starting to wonder if we should have signed up for it.
Tomorrow will be torture!
Friday, April 2, 2010
Good Friday
Today is Good Friday.
Today would have been my Beta, if my transfer wasn't canceled.
Today could have been a Great Friday.
Today would have been my Beta, if my transfer wasn't canceled.
Today could have been a Great Friday.
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