Hello, It's Me

Hello, it's me.

It's been almost 2 months since my last posting.  I am still here.  Hanging in there.  Not sure if anyone is still reading or following this blog, but I wanted to check in for a bit.

So much has happened since my last post.  So much.  But yet, nothing really has.  Nothing has changed..... I'm still here, still no baby.  Still not much progress, except very little in the infant adoption process.  And still no decision on what to do about embryo adoption.  I wish I had done a better job keeping up with this blog as there is SO much to update.  But I will have to do that in a couple of posts.

All I can say is that these last 3 months have been SO, SO HARD.

Going back to work has been hard.  Starting a new job has been difficult.  Starting a new job, while still grieving my past losses has been tremendously hard.  I thought I was ready to go back, but boy was I wrong.  I guess I have not fully grieved, but does anyone really?

Going back to work has been one of the hardest things, emotionally, that I have had to do.  Most days I wake up dreading the fact that I have to go to work.  Trying to focus on a new job while still having to deal with so much emotions and unresolved issues have been overwhelming and pretty much consuming me.  I have been a total emotional wreck!  That's to put things lightly!

Honestly, I had written a bit more details about my job and how it is affecting me, but Babe had discouraged me, saying the blog world is not as private as I would like to think it is.  So, to protect my privacy, I have refrained from going into too much details.

I have been overwhelmed with work and therefore have spent no time reading blogs, nor spent much time on the embryo adoption FB group.  But, even with the little time I have spent, it has been difficult due to the many pregnancy and birth annoucements.  The lady I met at NEDC during my January transfer (we had the same transfer date and met up at the recovery room), well she just gave birth to her baby from that transfer.  I am so happy for her, but yet it is another thing that makes me sad.

Please keep me in my your prayers as I go through this trying time.  Please be patient with me as I try to find time to write a couple more update posts.