I've been nervous about my beta, but for the first time I am not only nervous but actually stressed out about this.
I know I should be positive/optimistic about this transfer. Odds are in my favor this time. I can't remember the exact pregnancy rate at NEDC but it's close to 50%. Since it didn't work last time, odds are in my favor this time, right?
It's hard to tell if I am even close to being pregnant. Before my last chemical pregnancy in November, I had never been pregnant before. At least in November I had some implantation spotting. Nothing this time. I don't feel pregnant. I don't feel anything.
There is a lot at stake here. If I am not pregnant from this transfer, there are a lot of things that will need to happen.
- We have 2 embryos left. That means we need to be matched with another donor family as NEDC wants us to have at least 5 or 6 embryos on hand during a transfer, in case some of the embryos do not survive the thaw.
- That means we will need another ODA (open donation agreement) with the new donor family. That means it will take more time and additional fees for the ODA.
- We will have to wait till May to do the next transfer because of selecting the new family and the time needed to work with the new family on the new ODA.
- Because NEDC requires everyone to have a current home study, we will have to update our home study as our current one expires in April. Not sure how long that will take. And of course additional time and fees.
Sigh...... I know I should not be worried. Or stressed.
I know that again, God is in control, and whatever happens, He's got it. He has a plan for me. I just need to let go and trust.
Please pray for my beta result, and for peace and patience during the wait. Pray also for safety as tomorrow we are under a winter storm warning, with 1 - 5 inches of snow expected during the morning rush hour. Just in time for my drive to the clinic.