Beta #1

I went to my local clinic for my beta this morning.  It was busy at the clinic as I'm sure lots of other people were like me, having to do the beta first thing Monday morning after the holiday weekend.

After waiting anxiously, I finally got the call from Katie, the NEDC nurse at a little past 3 pm.  My test came back positive.  TECHNICALLY, I am pregnant.  However, my hGC number only came in at 13.  NEDC likes to see the number at 75 by now.  So, it is not looking good.  For now, we are "cautiously optimistic", Katie's words.

Katie said sometimes the embryo may take a little longer to implant and therefore the number may be low.  However, I also know that I had cramping and spotting at 4 days past transfer, usually an indication that implantation was happening.  I'm fairly sure it's not delayed implantation.

So now we wait for my second beta that will take place on Wednesday.  If the number doubles then, then I may still be pregnant.  But honestly, though I know I should remain positive, I'm fairly sure this cycle is a bust.

The good news is this is the closest I've come to being pregnant.  In all my past IVFs and IUIs, my HCG numbers were 2 or less.  I even took a home pregnancy test to see if it would turn positive, since Katie said that I was technically pregnant.  But alas, it didn't show the 2nd line.  When Babe got home from work today, he saw a very faint second line, but that was hours after I took the test.  You are supposed to check only 2 minutes after.

So, we wait some more.  The bad news is I have to continue taking my pain in the ass PIO shots.  Only 2 more days.  I can do it!

Please continue to pray for me and my beta on Wednesday.   Though I'm sorely disappointed, I'm not giving up quite yet.

Game Over

Game over.  AF won.   I lost.  I have been defeated.  Again.

Well, at least I did not POAS!

AF came this morning.  I felt the familiar feeling last night before bed, some cramping and the feeling of dampness.  Just to be safe, I wore a pad to bed last night.  Actually I have been wearing panty liners for the last 5 days!

How annoying!  First you think you AF is here early with the cramping and all (see earlier post).  Then all the major AF cramping stops and AF still has not shown up, so you think "oh maybe this is the month".  Just when my hopes are starting to go up, and I even googled "cramping in early pregnancy", that darn AF makes her unwelcome visit.  Can someone please hold her down and shoot her??

So my cycle was 32 days this time.  Almost a new record for me.  I looked through my Palm and found that the last time I thought I could possibly be pregnant was September 2004.  DH and I were going to Toronto for a friend's wedding and AF was late.  I actually took a HPT that turned up a BFN.  Then took another HPT 3 days later and got another BFN.  Even took a Beta test right before I left for Toronto.  In the end AF was 9 days late.

9 days!!  I was so sure I was pregnant!  I could not believe it when I called the clinic from the hotel in Toronto to find out the result and the nurse told me it was a BFN.  Of course AF shows up in Toronto while we were on vacation.    Unbelievable!

This time, I was cautiously optimistic, but deep down I didn't think this would be the month.  See my previous posting here.  So now we have to move on to the next month.  Welcome CD1.

Of course DH decided to surprise me last night with the news that he might be traveling to CA for a few days for work on the 14th.  Well what do you know?  It's right smack in the middle of my O window! That's the great!  December would most probably be the last month for us to try "naturally" before seeing the RE again in January.

Oh who am I kidding?  We've been trying "naturally" for 6 years and nothing's happened yet.

I was toying with the idea that I might go with him to CA.  You know, I could do some sightseeing during the day while he is at work, and then get busy with BD at night.  DH is not too keen about it since he would be traveling with a few other guys and having a wife tag along may not be most desirable.  Oh heck!  Not another wasted month!

I need a drink!!  Now that AF's here, I can actually have one.  Yippeee.....

A strawberry margarita sounds pretty good right now.  Maybe have some sushi too.

Technically Late, Maybe.

Technically, I'm late.

It's December 1st and technically my cycle is 30 days so far.  I can't remember the last time I had a 30 day cycle.  It's been mostly 28 days, with a couple of 26, 27 and 29 days.  Could this be the month?

It's too early to tell.  Actually I'm too chicken to find out. For now at least.

I refuse to POAS! 

I can't remember the last time I POAS.

It's too nerve wrecking! 

I refuse to spend the money on a HPT only to find out it's a BFN! I've only had BFNs so far!

It seems like every time I POAS, AF comes within an hour or two!  "Afraid you might be pregnant?  Need to bring on AF?  Go on, POAS!  AF will come! Guaranteed!"  That sounds like a great marketing slogan, don't you think?

I doubt this is the month for a  BFP anyway.  I had been sick this month.  I think missed the Ov window.  Instead of the usual Clearplan OPKs, I used the cheaper Target brand OPK.  Couldn't read that dang thing! One day the line was just starting to show a faint line.  Then the next, the line was gone!  What the heck!  I learned my lesson there.  Don't buy the cheap OPK, if you want a baby, get the good stuff.

On the other hand, a few days ago, I started getting strong cramps like AF was coming.  You know, the ones you get on the day AF arrives and you feel like your uterus is gonna fall out?  I thought, shoot, AF's early again this month!  I kept checking and waiting, but nope, no sign of AF.  Yay!  I'm still getting a few minor tugs here and there, but nothing like the AF cramps.  So that's a good sign, right? Implantation symptoms, maybe?

In the mean time, I am trying to distract myself from thinking about it too much.  This year, I joined the Christmas production at our church.  We had our first 4-hour full dress rehearsal tonight and it went well, for the most part.  Tomorrow night (oh wait, I guess it is tonight!  I have to quit blogging so late!) will be another full dress rehearsal, then the shows start on Thursday.  I will be busy all of this and next weekend.

Back to being technically late, I am sticking to NOT POAS!! 

Unless I can't stand it anymore. 

Or AF shows her ugly head.
Whichever happens first.  Any bets on which will be first?

Stay tuned.....