Monday, March 1, 2010

AF and Toxic People

AF arrived this morning.  Today is also the 9th day of 20 units of Lu.pron in the mornings, and 5th day after my last BCP.  For some reason, I kept thinking that I would not be getting AF this time, even though the nurse specifically wrote "bleed" in my calendar on days after my last BCP.  Not sure what I was thinking.

Tomorrow, I have an appointment scheduled for and ultrasound and blood work.  I'm hoping that all goes well so I can start my Me.nopur and Follis.tim shots on Friday.

We just received our federal income taxes refund in the mail today.  It's going directly into our bank account tomorrow!

Last night, my Babe told me that he finally told his best Buddy that we have been trying for a kid for 6 years.  "Buddy" and my Babe were winter camping on Saturday with some boy scouts.  The slept outside, yes in the MN winter, and were chatting till 2 in the morning.  Buddy was telling him all the crap that he as dealing with his daughter's mother (Buddy had a daughter when he was in college, but did not marry his daughter's mother) over trying to have his daughter over the weekends.  Buddy is now married with a 2 1/2 year old daughter.  Of course they got married a few years after us, and they got pregnant about 6 months into their marriage.

Anyway, after Buddy told my Babe about all his troubles, he asked so when are you guys having kids?  Since he just poured his heart out, Babe felt bad and told him yeah, we have actually been trying for 6 years, but he didn't want to get into any details.  I have to say though that I think this is the first time Buddy has actually asked my Babe over the 7 plus years we have been married, this question.  So at I appreciate that he is not nosy, or least didn't pry!  Buddy asked if we've tried any "help".  I guess Buddy and his brother T had discussed us not having kids and had talked about different kinds of treatments we could try.  T is completing residency as a medical doctor and thinks he is a know-it-all.  Without being real specific, my Babe just said, "we are way ahead of you!".  Hopefully we won't get any more questions from Buddy or T!  I don't want to go into any details!

So now, Buddy knows that we have been TTC for a while.  I'm kind of worried that he will tell his wife, which I'm sure he will.  See, I think if she knows, she will most probably tell a friend of ours, M.  We all used to do a weekly game night where we would get together to play board games.  M is one of those people my sister would call "toxic people" (I think it was an O.prah term).  People that sucks to be around, and you feel worse after being around them.
M and her hubby got married young, at 19.  They had an "oops baby" not long after.  M is the kind of person in which everything is about her.  About how smart she is, how she is the top of the class, how the world is trying to screw her over because they won't pay her the salary she thinks she deserves right out of college (it's ridiculous!)  They had another "oops baby" a few years ago, and she complained about it her whole pregnancy.  All she talked about was how she didn't want to be pregnant, how she didn't want another baby, how miserable her pregnancy was, how the one time they didn't use birth control they'd get pregnant; all this while we have been TTC for a few years, and around guys and women there were either not married, or pregnant.  She's the kind of person that expects her husband to do everything for her and the kids.  She also expects others to watch her kids when we are at game night, and lets them do whatever they want.  Worse yet, she would not discipline her kids because they are "so perfect".  She hates it when people tell her how to raise her kids, and then thinks they people with no kids know nothing about parenting!

Ughh!  She makes my blood boil just thinking about her!

Getting back to my original point, I'm worried that Buddy or his wife will tell M about our TTC issues which I would not be surprised if they did because they are pretty good friends.  We on the other hand have been avoiding M and her family in the last couple of years.  I just know that if M found out about our TTC issues, she would have lots of mean things to say, and would just drive me crazy!  I am still avoiding them, but it's just a matter of time before we meet again.  Hopefully by then we would be pregnant.  Even then, I'm sure she will have all kinds of advice to give.  In a sick sort of way, I am hoping that M would say something one of these day, I'll get super pissed off and finally just tell her off!!

Of course I can't always come up with the best things to say at the most important time, and will probably come up with something really lame!  Sigh......


  1. I know what you mean about toxic people. Hopefully you can avoid toxic M for the next little while and stay surrounded by supportive people.

  2. I think we all have a person like that at some point in our lives. I've weeded all my toxic folks out of my life (except in the work place, where you can't avoid them). Good for you for knowing that this woman isn't good for you and for staying away!

  3. Yes, I definitely try to avoid all toxic things...especially while undergoing IF treatments. Who needs that added stress, good for you for knowing to avoid people that are anything but supportive of what you're going through!!!

  4. It's unfortunate that there are so many people like that in the world. Some are so self-absorbed that they can't even imagine for a second that they might be insensitive to your situation. Hopefully you will be able to avoid dealing with her for as long as possible! I agree with the comment above -- surround yourself with people who encourage and support you, especially while going through something like IF!

  5. It seems as if insensitive people are everywhere these days. I think it's great that you are avoiding her. I wish I could avoid the toxic person in my life right now, but she's my mother in law so that's kind of hard. Hope you are able to stay away from her.

  6. Curiosity just can't wait sometimes...

    Don't worry about what these people "know", just focus on you. Our lives are such an open book aren't they. For me, I answer what I want and shrug off what makes me uncomfortable. And, when people ask "where we are with things" I just say "its complicated" If they press, I change the subject. THE END :)

    Hang in there, I'm just happy you are making progress. I'm rallying you on!

    Many Hugs,