Surgery Tomorrow AM

In less than 12 hours, I will have a hysteroscopy to remove my polyp in my uterus.  Surgery is scheduled for 10:30 am, and check-in is at 8:30 am.  The weather is forecasted to have heavy fog with about a 1/4 mile visibility.  This will make our drive to the hospital challenging.  We'll have to leave earlier to anticipate bad traffic.  I had to call my doctor's office yesterday to make sure it was OK for me to have surgery with a cough.  I had a cold about 2 weeks ago.  That went away, but then I started coughing, and it's been lingering since then.  It's gotten a lot better, but it's still here.  Doc says it's not a problem as long as I am not feeling bad and don't have a fever.

I've had two periods in 10 days.  I finally started my period on Saturday 10/19 after it was a no show (plus a little drama that included peeing on a stick) and starting BCPs.  Then I took my last BCP on Friday, 10/25.  I was fully expecting that I would not get a period this time since I had only just had my period.  But nope, my period came on Monday.  I'm still not done with my period yet, but my clinic has said it was fine if I was still bleeding during my surgery.  So, that's good.

I had my baseline ultrasound and blood work done today.  My lining was 4 mm which is good.  Katie called this afternoon and told me I am all good to go to started Es.trace tomorrow.  I take half a tablet in the morning and half in the evening.  I am to start fasting at midnight tonight (no food or drinks), but I will take a tiny sip of water to take my Es.trace in the morning.

Babe took me out for dinner tonight at my favorite Asian restaurant.  Kind of a "last supper" before the surgery.  Just kidding!  It was so that I can order enough food that we have leftovers to bring home.  I know that I will be starving and craving comfort food after the surgery.  

However, based on how my past surgeries turned out, I'll probably come home and throw up from the effects of anesthesia first.  Then I'll feel better and eat my first meal.  After that I'll probably sleep off the rest of the day.

I'll do an update tomorrow when I feel up to it.  I would also appreciate prayers for my surgery and recovery.  Thanks ya'll.

"Coming Out" & Happenings

Yesterday, Liz from Wishing On A Snowflake posted that she created a new embryo adoption/donation group on Face.book.  It is set to a secret status, so only a current member of the group can add another person.  This group is meant for anyone on any step on the embryo adoption/donation journey.  If you are interested and want to be added to the group, please read her post here and email her at wishingonasnowflake@gmail.com.

So, I joined this group on Face.book.  In a way, I am "coming out", sort of.  Because I write this blog anonymously, people don't know who I am, other than my sister and a few friends in real life.  By joining this group, I am revealing my true identity, at least to those in this FB group.  It is a little nerve wrecking but exciting at the same time.  It's nice to meet others going through or have gone through the EA journey.  So if you are on the EA/ED journey, I invite you to join this group.

Today, I also emailed NEDC my Thaw and Transfer Instructions form.  This form indicates how many embryos we wish to transfer.  We have indicated we are willing to transfer 3 at the very most.  NEDC usually only transfers 2 embryos, unless the quality of the third is not great, then they will transfer up to three.

I took my last BCP (birth control pill) tonight.  Thank goodness!  I have been on BCP for 64 days straight.  Hopefully, my period will come soon though I have already been spotting for the last 2-3 weeks.  I have an appointment scheduled for Friday for blood work and an ultrasound to make sure my body is responding properly.

I think the only real side effect I am feeling from Lu.pron is hot flashes.  I'm also a kinda tired, but I'm also feeling under the weather.  I have been fighting an emerging cold for the last few days which started the day before I started Lu.pron shots.  So it's kinda difficult to tell if what I'm feeling is from the cold or the Lu.pron shots.

Only a little over 3 weeks before we hop on the plane to go meet our babies!

AF and Toxic People

AF arrived this morning.  Today is also the 9th day of 20 units of Lu.pron in the mornings, and 5th day after my last BCP.  For some reason, I kept thinking that I would not be getting AF this time, even though the nurse specifically wrote "bleed" in my calendar on days after my last BCP.  Not sure what I was thinking.

Tomorrow, I have an appointment scheduled for and ultrasound and blood work.  I'm hoping that all goes well so I can start my Me.nopur and Follis.tim shots on Friday.

We just received our federal income taxes refund in the mail today.  It's going directly into our bank account tomorrow!

Last night, my Babe told me that he finally told his best Buddy that we have been trying for a kid for 6 years.  "Buddy" and my Babe were winter camping on Saturday with some boy scouts.  The slept outside, yes in the MN winter, and were chatting till 2 in the morning.  Buddy was telling him all the crap that he as dealing with his daughter's mother (Buddy had a daughter when he was in college, but did not marry his daughter's mother) over trying to have his daughter over the weekends.  Buddy is now married with a 2 1/2 year old daughter.  Of course they got married a few years after us, and they got pregnant about 6 months into their marriage.

Anyway, after Buddy told my Babe about all his troubles, he asked so when are you guys having kids?  Since he just poured his heart out, Babe felt bad and told him yeah, we have actually been trying for 6 years, but he didn't want to get into any details.  I have to say though that I think this is the first time Buddy has actually asked my Babe over the 7 plus years we have been married, this question.  So at I appreciate that he is not nosy, or least didn't pry!  Buddy asked if we've tried any "help".  I guess Buddy and his brother T had discussed us not having kids and had talked about different kinds of treatments we could try.  T is completing residency as a medical doctor and thinks he is a know-it-all.  Without being real specific, my Babe just said, "we are way ahead of you!".  Hopefully we won't get any more questions from Buddy or T!  I don't want to go into any details!

So now, Buddy knows that we have been TTC for a while.  I'm kind of worried that he will tell his wife, which I'm sure he will.  See, I think if she knows, she will most probably tell a friend of ours, M.  We all used to do a weekly game night where we would get together to play board games.  M is one of those people my sister would call "toxic people" (I think it was an O.prah term).  People that sucks to be around, and you feel worse after being around them.

M and her hubby got married young, at 19.  They had an "oops baby" not long after.  M is the kind of person in which everything is about her.  About how smart she is, how she is the top of the class, how the world is trying to screw her over because they won't pay her the salary she thinks she deserves right out of college (it's ridiculous!)  They had another "oops baby" a few years ago, and she complained about it her whole pregnancy.  All she talked about was how she didn't want to be pregnant, how she didn't want another baby, how miserable her pregnancy was, how the one time they didn't use birth control they'd get pregnant; all this while we have been TTC for a few years, and around guys and women there were either not married, or pregnant.  She's the kind of person that expects her husband to do everything for her and the kids.  She also expects others to watch her kids when we are at game night, and lets them do whatever they want.  Worse yet, she would not discipline her kids because they are "so perfect".  She hates it when people tell her how to raise her kids, and then thinks they people with no kids know nothing about parenting!

Ughh!  She makes my blood boil just thinking about her!

Getting back to my original point, I'm worried that Buddy or his wife will tell M about our TTC issues which I would not be surprised if they did because they are pretty good friends.  We on the other hand have been avoiding M and her family in the last couple of years.  I just know that if M found out about our TTC issues, she would have lots of mean things to say, and would just drive me crazy!  I am still avoiding them, but it's just a matter of time before we meet again.  Hopefully by then we would be pregnant.  Even then, I'm sure she will have all kinds of advice to give.  In a sick sort of way, I am hoping that M would say something one of these day, I'll get super pissed off and finally just tell her off!!

Of course I can't always come up with the best things to say at the most important time, and will probably come up with something really lame!  Sigh......

Headache

Just when I thought I was all clear from feeling any side effects, I got whammed with a huge headache this afternoon.

It started about 3 p.m. this while I was reading the blogs.  At first I thought maybe I was dehydrated from working out earlier, so I drank some water.  But then it got worse, so much so I had to lay down for about 15 minutes.  I even took some Tyle.nol and that seemed to help a little, but I'm still feeling it.

I'm not sure if this is from the Lu.pron shots, which I'm on Day 4 today, or from my BCPs.  Tonight will be my last night of BCPs, so we'll have to see if anything changes.

I do think though that I'm experiencing some warmness from the Lu.pron shots, though I still can't say it feels like hot flashes.  Just needing a sheet and only part of the down comforter while in bed.  I usually like to bury myself in my comforter in these Minnesotan winters.  No major discomfort yet so I'm not complaining, for now.

But the headache, it's got to go!

I finally replaced my library card today, after giving up on trying to find it since it went MIA a couple of months ago.  I figured I'll be needing some DVDs for my recovery after egg retrieval and bed rest after transfer.

I rented "Up" from the library today.  You can't beat 50 cents a day rental!  OK, I'm off to watch it with my Babe!

© Disney/Pixar

Making Some Progress

Today I received two packages from Dr. Hopeful's clinic in the mail.  The first was from Melissa, the financial contact.  Included in the packet were some brochures on how to finance the IVF, payment information, comparison between paying by the cycle vs. the AttainIVF (shared risk) program, estimate of charges, etc.  Boring but important stuff.  I can't believe we have to put down a prepayment of almost $10K by the middle of next month!

The second package was from a nurse, which included an IVF handbook, letter with list of testing required and estimated dates, consent forms for IVF and cryopreservation of embryos, a list of medications that I will be taking, and a prescription for my BCPs.  It's been years since I've been on any kind of birth control.  Hmm..... I have to take BCPs, which are meant to prevent pregnancies, to help me get pregnant.  Feels weird.....

I'm excited though, I found out I 'm getting Folli.stim, Viv.elle and Endome.trin free from the clinic!  I'm not sure how much this is going to save me yet, but either way, I'm pretty happy.  Anything free is super at this point!

Next step, research the cheapest place to get my meds.  Any suggestions?  I heard Freedom is the cheapest?

It feels good to finally be making some progress.

Estimated IVF Timeline and the OPK Guessing Game

I managed to talk a nurse from Dr. Hopeful's clinic today.  If AF is on schedule (which is doubtful based on the last couple of months), she should be here January 31st or February 1st.  I would start birth control pills starting on day 2 or 3 of my next cycle, followed by shots for 2 to 3 weeks.

Currently, my Egg Retrieval is estimated to be sometime the week of March 15th.  Embryo Transfer will be 5 days later.  I am scheduled for a Saline Infused Sonogram and trial transfer on Feb 9th, and our nurses consultation will be Feb 16th.  Finally, things are starting to fall into place and I have a plan!  I'm such a planner.  I've already updated our calendars in our home office and on my Palm.  I've also started an "IVF Log".  It's just something that I am using to keep track of dates of visits, conversations with nurses, notes, future appointments, next steps, etc.  Help keep me organized and something to refer to when I need to remember what was said and done, by who, and when.  It can be overwhelming.

On another note, tonight I peed on a OPK, being that it is CD12 and this will be my absolute last chance of having a baby the normal way!

What the heck!  There was no line at all!  At least last night there was a faint line.  So I fished out yesterday's stick from the trash can to make sure I am not losing my mind.

Here's a picture of the two sticks.  The top is from yesterday, it has a very faint line but it was darker last night (you are supposed to read it 3 minutes after you pee on it).  The bottom one is from tonight and it has no line at all.  Why is that?  I'm only on CD12 so I don't think I ovulated yet.  The same thing happened to me a couple of cycles ago too.  I thought it was because I bought the cheaper generic Targ.et brand.  This month I used the good stuff, Clearb.lue.  I wonder if drinking a lot of water might affect it.  I did pee on the OPK after I got back from working out at a Zumb.a class the the Y.  So maybe drinking too much water can dilute your urine and no line appears?

I guess I will just have to pee on an OPK again tomorrow and see if the line magically appears again.

Confession and RE Update

Confession
First of all I have a HUGE confession to make.  For those of you that have been following or reading my blog I hope you understand why this is something I did not make known previously in my blog.  I will explain later.  So here goes.


This will not be my first IVF.  A year ago, we through one round of IVF overseas.  Unfortunately it was not successful.


I grew up in Asia and was home visiting family for a couple of months and decided while we were there, we'd try a round of IVF.  It was a lot cheaper to do it there compared to the US.  Only my family and a few of my close friends know we did this.  It's not something we like to share because some people frown on the idea of going overseas for treatment.  Plus we weren't sure if it was something we would share with our RE and if it would disqualify us from the IVF shared risk program.  Last night, DH and I discussed whether we should tell our RE about this.  Giving her this additional information may come in handy in her decisions on our protocol and procedures.   We decided it would be the best to be honest, even if it meant jeopardizing our chance at the shared risk program.


Overall we had a good experience doing IVF in this Asian country (due to the anonymous nature of this blog, I will not be disclosing the country).  I will write about it in more detail in a later post.


Now that you know the truth about our IVF experience, I will be updating my TTC history in this blog.


RE Update
Now, on to the part that you have been waiting for, the update on our appointment with the RE.

Last night, I again had a hard time falling asleep.  I think I got 4 hours of sleep, max.  I was tired, but felt pretty good at the appointment.  Since our last visit, the RE clinic had moved to a newly built and much nicer building.  There must be a huge market for the fertility business because the clinic was much bigger, fancier, and covered 2 floors.  The waiting room was twice the size of the old one and it was pretty busy, even in this sucky economy.  We found out later from our RE that the new facility included a new world-class IVF suite, with its own procedure rooms, andrology lab, embryo lab, incubators, recovery room, etc.  "The best that we could find", as she put it.

Our meeting with the RE, whom we shall call Dr. Hopeful, went really well.  She noticed it's been 2 years since our last visit so she asked us what we've been up to.  Right away, we were upfront about our previous IVF overseas.  I was worried about how she would react to it, but she seemed OK with it.  She was quite pleased with how I responded during that cycle, other than the fact it didn't work.  Our meeting lasted almost an hour and she gave me lots of information.   I was given the following handouts.

• IVF handbook
• Estimate of charges broken down into details by monitoring, IVF procedures, medication and additional charges.
• Statistics of IVF results for the clinic
• List of acupuncturists in our area.  Dr. Hopeful could not recommend acupunture medically (inconclusive research), but her thought is if it makes you feel good and help you relax, then do it.
• Comparison sheet for the cost of IVF by fee for service (pay by cycle) vs. share risk program.
• Classes for Mind/Body program, which she highly recommended.

In addition I found out the following:

1. Dr. Hopeful does not think a previous failed IVF necessarily means we don't qualify for the shared risk program, and recommends applying for it.  More details about the cost and payment of IVF will be discussed with Melissa, the financial coordinator.  In the mean time, we still have not decided if we will do the shared risk program.
2. Only 2 embryos will be transfered
3. Based on our fertilization success during our last IVF, we will not need to do ICSI.
4. There is an 18% change of miscarriage with IVF.  
5. I will be on Lupron, Menopur and Follistim.  I have had experience with Follistim, but will need to pay attention to researching side effects of Lupron and Menopur.
6. I will NOT need to do PIO (progesterone in oil) shots!!  The is the BEST news yet!!  I guess I will be on a suppository called End.ometrin.  I am so happy about this!
7. We will probably go in for a shots class so DH can figure out how to stick a very long needle in my butt.
8. I will need to do one IM (intramuscular) shot for the HCG trigger shot, most probably be done by DH.  I can handle doing one IM, but so relieved I don't have to do daily IM PIO shots.
9. The doctors at the RE office rotate through the procedures weekly.  This means Dr. Hopeful or one of the other doctors may actually perform the procedures.
10. We will need to do the following tests: 

• Ovarian Assessment Report -  to test the quality of my remaining eggs
• SIS (Saline Infused Sonogram) - check the uterus
• Trial transfer - measure the uterus prior to embryo transfer
• STD screening

It sounds like after my next AF arrives, I will start BCP on day 2 or 3 for 21 days, then start stims.  Today I am on CD11.  If AF is on schedule (which she probably won't be), I should start BCP on Feb 1st, and then we go from there.

In the mean time, I am waiting for a nurse to call to schedule a consultation and also for Melissa the financial coordinator to call to discuss costs and payments.  Actually someone from the clinic called this afternoon to discuss starting my IVF cycle but I was napping, thanks to only 4 hours of sleep the night before.  Tomorrow I will call the clinic and find out our next steps.

I'm getting excited about finally starting this, but at the same time I'm torn about the huge amount of money we are about to spend of IVF.