- 46-year old woman
- 25 years of trying
- $200,000 in treatments
- 15 failed attempts (various treatments, article didn't go into details)
- Donor egg and donor sperm
Would you have kept trying?
Would it have been worth the time, money and heartache?
Would you have adopted? They used donor egg and donor sperm anyway.
I don't know. I seems like they were more interested in being pregnant than being parents.
I don't think I could have done it. I'd be an emotional wreck, not to mention bankrupt! Personally for us, if we had to do donor sperm or egg, we would have adopted. It's still a possibility.
Thoughts?
Absolutely not. Now I am not saying it was wrong for them. I just know that there is now way I could do that for that long. Plus I don't have that much money in savings. Personally, I would have adopted. Of course I would love to have the birth experience, but I don't have to. I just want to be a mom and whatever way that ends up happening is good enough for me. :)
ReplyDeleteWow! I think at the point of using donor egg and/or sperm we would consider adoption. It's not about me being pregnant. It's about loving a child and being a family.
ReplyDeleteI know a lot of wonderful people who have used donor embryos or eggs and I completely understand why. I think the desire to have children is much more complicated than simply obtaining them. The personal experience of creating a life (even if it means selecting the biological parents who will donate the sperm and/or the egg), of carrying that baby and ultimately caring for him/her for those nine months, and then of giving birth to her/him - these are of great emotional value to some people. I respect whatever path any infertile couple chooses to bring them peace.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't have made it through 25 years in this hell. I've barely made it 2. I know my limits and 25 years is way way past them.
ReplyDeleteI don't think equating donor eggs and sperm with adopting is a fair comparison. They are two quite different processes each with their own up and downs.
ReplyDeleteHowever that said i couldn't spend 25 years on it. Last November after three years of trying the husband and I put our own time frame on it. Two more years. (Five in total). I don't know if we will stick to it, should the time comes, but it felt like a relief to know that there would be a time when we could say enough and continue to live our lives not just exist.
25 years? That's amazing! Some people have the most inspiring strength and commitment! I don't know what I think about donor egg/sperm/adoption yet. Those issues seem very complicating and overwhelming to me. Right now, I'm taking baby steps... One thing's for sure - I wouldn't want to start a family 25 years from now. I'd be 64! I think I'd try till I'm 45 and that will be it. I just can't bear the thought of leaving my kids without parents when they're still young. My husband sometimes jokes, "Why don't we adopt an 18 yr old?" Har har! Riiiight! That's not quite the point about having kids...
ReplyDelete