Lots have crossed my mind, but I've just not been motivated to post. I'll get better about this, I promise.
(image from www.incomingthought.com/ images/man_laptop.jpg)
So here's a summary of the last few days.
- My Babe and I went to Easter Service at our church. We were lucky enough to sit with my dear friend E and her family. My 2 1/2 -year-old goddaughter L spent half of the service in my arms and on my lap during the service. It was bittersweet. I love the fact that I get to be around my goddaughter and her 9-month old brother, to hang out and hold them. For them to be excited to see me and want to hang out with me. Yet at the same time I wonder if I would ever hold my own babies in my lap someday.
- We spent Easter lunch at my in-laws. I made grilled leg of lamb and it was a hit. My 2 nieces, 9 and 5 year olds are so funny and cute. My SIL and her hubby have done a wonderful job raising 2 very well behaved and smart kids. I often wonder if my Babe and I will be make great parents like them, and if we will have a chance to teach our kids and pass on our values and traditions.
- I am not worried about if we will become parents. I do worry if we will ever have children that look like us, our own biological children. Maybe this sounds selfish to some, but I would love to have children that I can say yup, he's got his daddy's long legs or musical talents, or she's got her mommy's eyes. Is that too much to wish for?
- After my transfer was cancelled, I went found out using an IVF due date calculator that if the transfer was not cancelled, and if I had a BFP, my baby (if singleton) would have been due on December 9th, 2010. Looks like 2010 will not be the year for a baby for us.
I'm sorry if this and the last few posts seem such downers. I'm just expressing my thoughts, thoughts that are true and which I don't want to forget. I think it's important to honor that.