Monday, January 31, 2011

Featured on Stress Free Infertility

Wow, I am honored.

I am one of three bloggers featured on Krissi's Stress Free Infertility site today.  Go check it out!

Thanks, Krissi!

Sunday, January 30, 2011


Lately, every time I get on Faceb.ook, I see this event invitation staring back at me, mocking me even.  I received this invitation a couple months ago.

It's for a baby shower.

Not only is it for a baby shower, it's for a baby shower for a lady that knows that Babe and I are dealing with infertility.  

She is the same lady that knew that our IVF did not work.  

She is the same Gal #2 that in April, told me I should "just adopt", and how she knows people that have adopted and got pregnant after.  I told her off and set her straight about how wrong she was then.  You can read about it here.

Oh and did I mention that this will be her 3rd baby?  Yes THIRD!!  Number 3!!

Wait a minute, I thought people only had baby showers for their first baby.  Am I wrong?  Do people have baby showers after the first one?

I'm sorry if I'm being critical, but is she doing this just for gifts?  I know that times are tough, and she may not be doing well financially, but still.

I understand that she is happy to be pregnant again and want to share her joy with her friends, but I think that it is just inconsiderate and insensitive.  Maybe she wants to make sure that I don't feel left out if I found out she is having a baby shower and I am not invited.  

But I think she could have been more sensitive.  She could have told me in person about the shower and asked if I would like to attend, and then send me the invitation.  Instead, I get the invitation on Faceb.ook, along with 40 other people.

Am I just being too sensitive?

I don't plan on going anyway, but have not responded to the invite.  Not sure if I even want to get her a gift.  I'm not even that close to her.

The other thing is, we are both going to be in the same group in a program a church, so I will be seeing her every week for the next 10 weeks, until she has the baby.  I don't even remember when she said her baby is due.

I suppose I could just say no the the invitation, don't give an excuse, and just hope she doesn't ask why.  

She should know why, right?  Or am I just being presumptuous?

Am I the one being too sensitive?

** Update**
Thanks to everyone that commented.  I have declined the invitation on Faceb.ook, and thankfully it no longer appears when I sign on.  I still have not decided if I will get her a gift.  Her shower is more than 3 weeks away, so I have time to decide.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Non-IF Related Posts?

I have been looking back at my previous posts on this blog.  I started this blog to journal my TTC journey after we decided that we would pursue IVF (again). Since I am currently not actively going through treatments (soon to start, hopefully), I feel like I don't have much updates to post.  I have some that I thought about sharing, but most are just downers, and it will probably just make you (and me) more depressed.

So, I thought about sharing non-IF related posts.  What do you think?  Would you still care to read this blog if I posted non-IF related items?

Friday, January 28, 2011

Who's Next?

In the past, I have mentioned that I am part of a support group called Patiently Waiting.  It is a Christian support group for Infertility and/or Adoption. 

The great thing about a group like this is it is a great place to be around people that are going through, or have gone through the same struggles and be able to share, relate, and vent.  We are able to support and encourange one another, and give each other hope.  I have met some really nice ladies and have developed great friendships here.

Like it or not, we are all reluctant members of this infertility "club". We are all on a journey to get out of this club.  We hope and pray that the someone's IUI or IVF works next.  Or that someone gets matched soon. Or someone gets pregnant.

The hard part however, is "WHO'S NEXT"?

What if her IVF/IUI works?  Who's going to get pregnant next?  Or get matched next?  What if it's not me?  It's probably not going to be me! 

I desperately want my IF friends to get pregnant, or bring their adopted babies home.  But yet it hurts when it does happen.

This sounds terrible, but sometimes, I secretly hope things don't work for them. (Yikes!  I can't believe I am actually writing this!!)  In a way, I hope that we stay the same as we are right now.  Because I'm selfish.  I'll admit it.

If I don't succeed, I don't want anyone else to either.  Because if they succeed, and I don't, that means I have failed.  It's hard being a failure for 6 years.  It's hard to see others moving on, while I am left behind.

I believe I'm not the only one that feels this way.  Please tell me I am not the only one that feels this way?

OK, deep down I really do want things to work out for others.  Really.

But why can't it work out for me? 

Why can I be next?

Monday, January 24, 2011

37... Much Closer to 40!


Last night, I realized I had not updated the "A Little About Me" section of my blog.  I had to change "I'm 37" from 36.

37.... That's a lot closer to 40 than 30, or 35 for that matter.  I had in the past hung on to the fact that 36 is just a tad bit more than 35.  But 37?  That's a whole other story.

I'm pretty sure I fall under the "advanced maternal age" category.


Sunday, January 23, 2011

Left Behind

I'm feeling left behind.  It feels like the rest of the world is moving on, and here I am still in the same old place.  Nothing has changed in the baby department.

Last Friday, I became an aunt.  Again.

My SIL just gave birth to a baby boy, their second child.  This is the same SIL that I found out she was pregnant because my MIL accidently let the cat out of the bag.  I'm happy for her, but sad for us.  This nephew is the first male baby in Babe's family that will carry on our last name.  They beat us to it.  Babe's brother is younger than us, married later than us, but had their first AND second child before we even had our first.  So here we are..... our 8th niece/nephew on Babe's side of the family.  We have 3 on my side.

Then, my good friend in Indiana, just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.  I'm so happy for her.  This is her second baby, her first was a boy.  They struggled for a few years trying to conceive their first baby.  And her second, it was unplanned.

In our infertility support group, a few more people have made progress.  One gal who is doing embryo adoption has her home study approved, and has been matched with a family.  She will have her embryo transfer in March.  Another couple is in the process of being placed with a 7-month of baby girl.  Another girl has started her adoption process.  A couple more are in the middle, or about to start their IVF cycle.  So almost everyone is making some kind of progress.

Now that I am finally slowly stepping back into the blog world, I am also finding that  a lot of people have either gotten pregnant, have delivered their babies, or have brought home their adopted babies.  It's wonderful news, because that's what we all want.... to be parents.  But it's also hard to read sometimes.

I feel like I have been left behind, and can't wait to get back in the bandwagon.  But at the same time, I wonder if I really want to, or have what it takes to do it all over again.

I'm sure I will.  I do want to.  I just have to find strength to pick myself up and just do it!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Hello World!

Hello World.....

It's me.

I'm back.

Wow, it's been exactly 3 months since my last post.  Not much happening on the baby front since then.  It's 2011, a new year to look forward to.   Hopefully there will be some good news on the baby front this year.

I just checked the stats on my site, and I am surprised to see that there has been between 15 - 20 visits to my blog everyday, even though I have not updated my site for 3 months.  Not sure where my visitors are coming from, but if you have been checking on me to see if I have had any updates, thank you.

Thank you for sticking around with me, even though I have not had much to say.

You'll hear from me.  I promise.

Now, off to see what updates there are in the TTC world......