Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Odd Life Of Timothy Green and Family Trees

Last weekend, Babe and I watched the movie "The Odd Life of Timothy Green".  Have you seen it? What did you think of it?

The gals from our Patiently Waiting infertility/adoption group watched this together last fall but I was not able to make it.

I heard some mixed reviews about it, some saying it was not realistic.  Keep in mind this is a Disney movie.

I really enjoyed the movie.  It's about a couple who struggles with infertility and have done everything medically to have a child.  It shows how painful it can be for someone to go through the struggles of infertility, but also the joys of what hope can bring.  It is sweet, funny, though not totally realistic, has a decent ending.  It also made me think of what kind of parent I hope to be, and what I don't want to be!

If you have not seen it, go rent it.

My sister started a family tree on (similar to a few years ago.  I just spent some time updating it.  My mother-in-law just updated it and now we can see our family try that goes out a few generations, back to the mid 1800's.  That's pretty cool.

As I was updating my immediate family tree, I had mixed feelings.  I am excited with the prospect of adding our children to the tree, but at the same time, I feel like do my future adopted kids truly fit in this tree?  I know a family is not all about bloodlines, but isn't it that what a family tree is all about?

Should family trees indicate true blood lines?  Or does it not really matter?

Do my future adopted children truly belong in my family tree?  Or should they be on the family tree of their genetic family?

I know the "correct" answer is, "Of course they belong on MY family tree".

But I can't help but have second thoughts.  Especially when I will have an open relationship with the genetic family.

Anyone have experience with this?  HONEST thoughts?


  1. A family tree is not just about blood but about love or at least that is how I see it. See I was adopted by my Dad when I was 4 and he was adopted by his Dad too ( many years ago).

    I have this large family tree and sure am not blood related to a lot of people on my family tree but I am loved by many of them. When I do my family tree( mostly to explain to husband who is who) I have a mom and dad and birthfather. Then I have my mom parents, and her family. then I have my Dad's mom's and her side and then his adopted Dad along with all that crazy family and his Birth-Father - that family and finally I have my birth-father family and his very large family. I love looking at my families (all of them) and knowing I have a piece of them in my personality.

    I love having this huge extended family and massive family tree. Trees are what you make, and I made mine about love and personalities not blood.

  2. Oh the struggles of the non-traditional family! I totally get your heart about this. What a blessing you are to your children already.

    I have never filled out a family tree but I can tell you that IF I did, I would notate on my branch that I have 10 babies. But, I would designate which ones died before birth and which ones lived. Why? Because EVERY SINGLE LIFE deserves honor and respect and love. And, should someone in the future that has also buried half of their children ever find me, I want them to know that they are not alone. Their hearts are validated through the shared acknowledgement of the preciousness of life.

    If I were in your shoes (and I only have an opinion because you asked), my heart would long to include my adopted children on my branch but I would designate them as "adopted with love" for the same reasons. They would belong on MY branch but they also share a branch of another family tree and there is comfort in the camaraderie of shared experience when it is discovered. Does that makes sense? Why would your child only hold a place on one tree? They belong on both :) because they are loved in 2 families.

    Certainly just one way of looking at things. Take my thoughts with a grain of salt.... I just always side with what makes people feel loved and included because a person's heart is a precious thing. :)

  3. I grew up in Utah from a religious family where a lot of emphasis is placed on genealogy. Recently, I've wondered where our adopted embryo children might fall onto our family tree so I'm really intrigued by the fact you wrote about this.

    I agree with belle. They are special in that they came from two families, and I think having them belong on two branches would be the best way to go. The most beautiful part about embryo adoption is that these babies are not just loved by one family, but two. I'd definitely want to pay homage to that! Wishing you luck for your transfer!