We went into the weekend feeling a little better, now that we have a date for our initial visit and mock transfer at NEDC for May 22nd, as well as knowing that our current agency will complete our home study and transfer it to the new one.
Going forward, to make things less confusing, I will refer to my current adoption agency (the one that will complete our home study) as Old Agency, and the new one that we will transfer to, as New Agency (very original, I know!). At this point, I am not going to specifically name the agencies, but maybe down the road, I will call them by name.
On Monday, I received a packet of forms and information from the IVF nurse at NEDC. I was instructed to call her, so I did. I am told to call the clinic again when on the first day of my period in April. In my packet, among other things were a prescription for Es.trace (estrogen) that I am supposed to start taking before my appointment, patient information sheet, medical history forms, fee schedule, list of hotels, and a map to NEDC. I have started looking into hotels and flights now. Our appointment is on a Wednesday. If we flew in on a Saturday, it would save around $180 EACH compared to if we flew in on a Tuesday.
Yesterday, I received and email for New Agency with our adoption application forms and istructions. It is pretty similar from what we did at Old Agency. Actually, a few of the forms were the exact ones I had already filled previously for DHS (Department of Human Services). I think there were less forms, but maybe because previously, we had applied for international adoption. I mentioned this to a friend today, and she said, New Agency sends their forms in stages, so maybe I am not getting all the forms. On the other hand, I may have less forms to fill because we are transferring our home study (when completed) from another agency. So we will see. I was assured by the social worker supervisor there that this home study process will be a lot quicker, and they will also try to request as many documents that we have already done from Old Agency. I will still have to do the Adam Walsh background checks again, that's $70 per person.
On the other hand, the good news is, Old Agency said our home study should be completed in a couple of weeks!
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Thursday, February 21, 2013
"Good News"..... Kinda.
As you know, we have encountered a roadblock with our current adoption agency who has told us that we cannot complete a home study for embryo adoption. This morning, Babe and I met up with the domestic adoption manager to talk things through. She also invited the international adoption manager to the meeting. We had a very good discussion and they were very willing to work with us within their agency's policy. In the end, the decision was made that the agency WILL complete our international adoption home study, but they will then transfer the completed home study to another adoption agency that can work with NEDC.
So, the good news is they will complete our home study for us. The not-so-great news is we still have to work with another agency to be able to adopt with NEDC.
We are OK with this. At least we won't have to redo our entire home study again, and don't have to waste time and repeat the costs associated with things like fingerprints, background checks, training, etc. We will still have to pay a home study fee with the new agency, though it is a little cheaper, around $1,000 cheaper.
I'm not sure yet what all the details will be yet with the new agency since we were playing phone tag today. Also this new agency is only open Monday through Thursday. So it won't be until Monday before I can speak with them.
The better news is NEDC has confirmed May 22nd as our initial visit. They will be sending me a packet of forms to complete and instructions to speak with the IVF nurse. Hopefully I will get that on Monday.
So, the good news is they will complete our home study for us. The not-so-great news is we still have to work with another agency to be able to adopt with NEDC.
We are OK with this. At least we won't have to redo our entire home study again, and don't have to waste time and repeat the costs associated with things like fingerprints, background checks, training, etc. We will still have to pay a home study fee with the new agency, though it is a little cheaper, around $1,000 cheaper.
I'm not sure yet what all the details will be yet with the new agency since we were playing phone tag today. Also this new agency is only open Monday through Thursday. So it won't be until Monday before I can speak with them.
The better news is NEDC has confirmed May 22nd as our initial visit. They will be sending me a packet of forms to complete and instructions to speak with the IVF nurse. Hopefully I will get that on Monday.
Yesterday was kind of a hectic day, so when I did my post last night, I forgot to mention that I had an appointment with my gynecologist. In the past, I've had a couple of surgeries to remove polyps in my uterus as this can interfere with implantation for pregnancy. I had been going in annually to get ultrasounds done to make sure I don't have any polyps as they can return even after removal. I skipped last year since I didn't do an IVF cycle. My doctor said I have a "beautiful uterus," just waiting for a baby to implant an grow in there. No polyps or other growths, and my lining was great. Yay for my beautiful uterus!! I'm all ready for NEDC!
The ultrasound tech also found that my right ovary was in a peculiar position. It was sitting below the uterus. This would make it difficult for natural conception if I had ovulated from the right ovary. I vaguely remember this issue too, since at one of my IVF cycles, the doctor was not able to retrieve any eggs from the right ovary. Well at this point, it doesn't really matter where my ovary is, since I won't be needing it for NEDC.
February 2013 ICLW
Happy ICLW everyone!
It has been almost a year since the last time I participated in ICLW. Many things have changed since then. I haven't been in the blogworld for a while, and now I'm back. If you've been here before, welcome back!
The short version of our story: Babe (hubby) and were married in the Fall of 2002, and started actively trying for a baby in February 2004. We were first diagnosed with "unexplained infertility". Since then, we have tried just about everything... Clom.id, surgeries for uterine polyps, 4 IUIs, and 4 failed IVFs, with the last one in July 2011. My RE determined that we have low egg quality, probably due to age. However, we have been trying for a baby since I was 30, so I wonder if it had alway been an egg issue.
Since then, we have gone down the path of international adoption. However, over the course of the adoption home study process, we have decided to pursue embryo adoption instead. Since my absence from the blogworld, I wrote a catch up post here. We are still working on completing our home study when we just found out last week that our agency will not allow us to complete it for embryo adoption. Since then we have looked at another agency and the thought of having the redo our home study process over again from scratch both infuriates and upsets me.
To find out the latest updates, read the last few posts. I will be posting more updates soon (I will be writing another post about today's update)!
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
About Our Roadblock, Plus Updates
As you know, Babe and I have encountered a roadblock to our embryo adoption process. If you have been praying for us, thank you. I really appreciate it.
At our home visit with our social worker on January 24th, we told Ms. J that we have decided we want to pursue embryo adoption. We would need to have a completed home study to be able to adopt with NEDC. We had struggled with when to tell our adoption agency that we wanted pursue embryo adoption. And honestly, we ourselves struggled with the decision whether to adopt embryos for a very long time. We could have just waited for our home study to be completed, and then tell them, or we could be upfront and tell them right away. So at the home visit, we told Ms. J. Since this agency has never done embryo adoption before, she wasn't sure how to proceed. She would speak with her manager and get back to me.
After waiting for 3 weeks, we found out that a home study completed by agency our cannot be used for embryo adoption. Their reasoning...... they do not have expertise in embryo adoption. They cannot approve us for embryo adoption and cannot use a domestic adoption home study for embryo adoption purpose.
This was such a shocker, and so frustrating!! We were so close to getting our home study completed and approved. We feel like we were being punished for being honest! We could have kept them in the dark, completed the home study, and then told them, by the way, we want to adopt embryos with someone else! Now we will have to find another agency and start our home study again from scratch. Just thinking about the time, cost and effort we would have to put into it again totally upsets me!!
We still don't understand entirely why they won't let us do it. It sounds like this issue has been discussed quite thoroughly with the managers and board of directors, and it sounded like the decision come from the directors. It doesn't sound like much is going to change in this area. We have a meeting with the domestic infant adoption manager tomorrow just to talk things through, try and understand where they are coming from, and where that leaves us.
I looked around for other agencies that will do just a home study, and we found a few. We found one that was $2,100. Most other places, the home study (including application fee) comes up to $3,400 or $3,500. We found an agency that we are comfortable with, where a few other couples from our support group have gone through. It's tempting to just go with the agency with the cheapest home study fee, but we are looking at things in the long run. If embryo adoption does not work out for us, we will continue our adoption process with this agency.
So this morning, I dropped off our application, including our $400 application fee at the new adoption agency (will talk about them in another post). I had a chance to meet one of the ladies that I spoke to on the phone. They seem really nice there, and I hope we will have a good experience there. My friends who adopted their babies from there really like the agency, so that's a good thing.
Then this morning, I also received an email from NEDC with a few dates for our initial appointment in Knoxville. We have picked the first date they have available for us. May 22nd! Now we wait for a confirmation from NEDC and we will have to start looking at flights, car rental and a hotel!
At our home visit with our social worker on January 24th, we told Ms. J that we have decided we want to pursue embryo adoption. We would need to have a completed home study to be able to adopt with NEDC. We had struggled with when to tell our adoption agency that we wanted pursue embryo adoption. And honestly, we ourselves struggled with the decision whether to adopt embryos for a very long time. We could have just waited for our home study to be completed, and then tell them, or we could be upfront and tell them right away. So at the home visit, we told Ms. J. Since this agency has never done embryo adoption before, she wasn't sure how to proceed. She would speak with her manager and get back to me.
After waiting for 3 weeks, we found out that a home study completed by agency our cannot be used for embryo adoption. Their reasoning...... they do not have expertise in embryo adoption. They cannot approve us for embryo adoption and cannot use a domestic adoption home study for embryo adoption purpose.
This was such a shocker, and so frustrating!! We were so close to getting our home study completed and approved. We feel like we were being punished for being honest! We could have kept them in the dark, completed the home study, and then told them, by the way, we want to adopt embryos with someone else! Now we will have to find another agency and start our home study again from scratch. Just thinking about the time, cost and effort we would have to put into it again totally upsets me!!
We still don't understand entirely why they won't let us do it. It sounds like this issue has been discussed quite thoroughly with the managers and board of directors, and it sounded like the decision come from the directors. It doesn't sound like much is going to change in this area. We have a meeting with the domestic infant adoption manager tomorrow just to talk things through, try and understand where they are coming from, and where that leaves us.
I looked around for other agencies that will do just a home study, and we found a few. We found one that was $2,100. Most other places, the home study (including application fee) comes up to $3,400 or $3,500. We found an agency that we are comfortable with, where a few other couples from our support group have gone through. It's tempting to just go with the agency with the cheapest home study fee, but we are looking at things in the long run. If embryo adoption does not work out for us, we will continue our adoption process with this agency.
So this morning, I dropped off our application, including our $400 application fee at the new adoption agency (will talk about them in another post). I had a chance to meet one of the ladies that I spoke to on the phone. They seem really nice there, and I hope we will have a good experience there. My friends who adopted their babies from there really like the agency, so that's a good thing.
Then this morning, I also received an email from NEDC with a few dates for our initial appointment in Knoxville. We have picked the first date they have available for us. May 22nd! Now we wait for a confirmation from NEDC and we will have to start looking at flights, car rental and a hotel!
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Woman Gives Birth to TWO sets of twins
I woke up today to this posting on Face.book. A woman gives birth to not one, but TWO sets of twins on the same day! They were hoping to grow to a family of 4, instead now they are a family of 7. And no fertility treatments either.
Sigh.... fluke of nature, or blessing of God?
You may notice that I have had a little makeover on my blog. Changed my background... it's about time. I've had the same look for quite a while. I also went and updated the blogs I follow. That was quite hard to do. Going through and deciding which blogs I no longer wanted to follow was quite emotional. The blogs I used to follow were mostly infertility and IVF related. It's hard to see most people have moved on to blogging about parenting, with lots of updates and photos about their babies and toddlers. Some even moving on to their 2nd or third child.
It is a great blessing to see that people have moved on and fulfilled their dreams. Yet at the same time, though I am not in the very same position as I was a couple of years ago, I still don't have a baby in my arms. I can't help it, but the feeling of jealousy, anger and frustration just pops back up. I have to remind myself that God has a plan for my life, and it is good. This is the journey He has chosen for me, and I will walk it in faith.
So, I've updated my list to follow more embryo adoption and traditional adoption related blogs. I know that some of you that used to be on my list of blogs I follow still stop by here. I hope you understand and are not offended that I am no longer following you.
Sigh.... fluke of nature, or blessing of God?
You may notice that I have had a little makeover on my blog. Changed my background... it's about time. I've had the same look for quite a while. I also went and updated the blogs I follow. That was quite hard to do. Going through and deciding which blogs I no longer wanted to follow was quite emotional. The blogs I used to follow were mostly infertility and IVF related. It's hard to see most people have moved on to blogging about parenting, with lots of updates and photos about their babies and toddlers. Some even moving on to their 2nd or third child.
It is a great blessing to see that people have moved on and fulfilled their dreams. Yet at the same time, though I am not in the very same position as I was a couple of years ago, I still don't have a baby in my arms. I can't help it, but the feeling of jealousy, anger and frustration just pops back up. I have to remind myself that God has a plan for my life, and it is good. This is the journey He has chosen for me, and I will walk it in faith.
So, I've updated my list to follow more embryo adoption and traditional adoption related blogs. I know that some of you that used to be on my list of blogs I follow still stop by here. I hope you understand and are not offended that I am no longer following you.
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