Friday, March 7, 2014

Donor Family Match Requested

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This morning, I finally emailed NEDC's coordinator to be matched with a family.

This has been THE HARDEST decision Babe and I have had to make in our embryo adoption journey.

After receiving donor profiles of Caucasian families last week, we narrowed those down to 2 families.  We requested information about the embryos from these families, which we received on Wednesday.

After reviewing all the profiles, we narrowed our choices to our top 3 families.  One was Caucasian, one Asian, and one bi-racial.  This was the toughest part.  Do we want to pick a family where the children looked like me, or like Babe, or a of both?  For me, it is a tough decision to have to pick the race of your child.  Ideally, we want children that would look like the both of us.  However, if you think about it, in many cases, you don't usually get to pick the race of your child in traditional adoption either.  So we decided we would not let race be such a big part of our decision (though I have to admit it was tough!).

We want to pick a family with the highest chance of a successful pregnancy.  Since this is our third transfer at NEDC, we would be out of the program at NEDC if we are not successful this time.  So, we are looking for a family with excellent quality embryos, but also with a young genetic mother, as recommended by Dr. Keenan.  But none of these families had both.

I emailed the embryologist asking what has a higher chance of a successful pregnancy, embryos from a younger genetic mother, or embryos with higher quality grading.  In her opinion, embryos from a younger genetic mother is more likely to give me a higher chance of pregnancy than higher grade embryos.

So, after even more consideration, we have decided to go with a family with the younger genetic mother.  This morning we sent a request to be matched with this donor family.  Hopefully, this will give the family the weekend to review our profile and make a decision to either accept or decline us.

I'm relieved that this part of the decision is made.  I'm praying that the donor family makes a decision quickly so we can proceed with the next steps of our transfer.


  1. I know this has been very hard for you *hug*. I too am relieved you have been able to come to a decision. I hope that you hear back quickly and everything is a "go".

  2. So glad you've made your decision. I know you made the right one for you and your family - I will also be praying that they decide quickly so you can move forward. XO

  3. It is such a difficult and pretty strange decision to have to "pick out" your children, isn't it? I remember going through all that and weighing all the options. Praying everything goes smoothly with the rest of the process.

  4. Fingers crossed and praying that this round will give you a bfp!

  5. I remember when I was looking at donor profiles (egg donor) how weird it was to be sizing up genetics for my potential children. I am a teacher and suddenly I didn't care about education, I am on the shorter side and I was looking for someone with long legs, I am a brunette and was admiring the blondes. It actually made me question my values. It is such a strange experience but in the end when you meet your child it doesn't matter, they will be yours and no eye colour, race, or any of the other stuff matters. Best wishes and I can't wait to follow your journey. After many failed treatments my first egg donor cycle worked and the rest is history, I know this is a huge step but congratulations for moving forward and taking such a proactive role in creating a family.

  6. Cool. The best you can hope for is to build a strong and loving family; however you may get it, whenever you will get it. Whether its through donors or adoption, both of which would nonetheless be able to escape the matters of law, and will eventually answer to it. Might as well ensure that the legal matters are ably settled.

    Adoption Network