Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The Forgotten

I was on Faceb.ook tonight and saw this on my 10-year-old nephew's status:

"sadly, has no cousins..... :-( "

Sometimes I forget that we (Babe & I) are not the only ones affected by our infertility.

On my side of the family, there are the three of us siblings: My sister, my brother and I.  My sister has 3 kids (13, 10 and 6).  My brother is not married, and has no kids.  Me... well, you know the story.

My BIL (sister's hubby) has one sister.  She also is not married, and has no kids.

So that means not only do my nieces and nephew have no cousins, my sis and BIL have no nieces or nephews either.

My mom and dad have grandkids.

My brother has nieces and a nephew.

Babe and I have no kids (we're trying!!)

But my sis, BIL, and their family are affected by our infertility too.  I've never really put too much thought into this, but we forget that they do suffer a kind of loss too.  No wonder they are our biggest supporters!

Thanks, Sis and BIL!!  We love you and miss you guys!


  1. Big hugs! My husband is an only child and it is so hard sometimes knowing that his parents don't have any grandchildren when so many of their friends do.

  2. what a tender thought to know that this precious 10 yr old hurts with you.... i know your heart hurts with him.... praying always that your answer will come soon.... (((hugs)))

    my brother is not married and feels the struggle in his own heart because he wants children badly.... but he is an amazing source of love (and fun!) to my children (here and in heaven). because your hearts are so tuned in to the love of children, you are a blessing to every child whose life you touch... you are so very loved and appreciated.

  3. Yes, my sister's 2 daughters have no cousins either! We are just the 2 of us and her husband is an only child! They were so happy that they would eventually get a cousin, but unfortunately I m/c at 10 weeks...

  4. The only child grandparent thing has played a huge part in my guilt over the years. My hubby is the only child and i hate seeing the look of disappointment on his family's faces!

  5. Man, what a heart wrenching post you saw on FB :( It's nice to have the family support though.

    Just saying hello from an infertility sister.

  6. What a hard thing to see on FB. So glad that you have the support of your family. Hoping that one day soon there will be cousins!

  7. Completely understand:-( I also have unexplained IF. We were able to make embryos, but they never lived past 3 or 4 days. For us, our IF journey is over as we are no longer ttc. Man I hate IF.
    Hoping for you!! Happy ICLW. #18

  8. Hello from ICLW. I think IF affects everyone friends, family etc. It is so rough but it makes overcoming it so much sweeter if you do! Good luck - hoping for a BFP for you.

  9. hello from ICLW - i agree with you! i feel like i'm letting my family down too, especially my parents. they would be such wonderful grandparents and they are getting older and i just want to see them hold our babies in their hands... hopefully some day... you sound a lot like my situation too! AND i call my dh "B" :-) best of luck w your next cycle!

  10. Hi from ICLW! That's a bittersweet Facebook post for sure. I hope your nephew will have cousins someday soon.

  11. Popping by for ICLW! I hope you can add some cousins/grandkids/nieces and nephews soon!