Cancelled

Today has been a difficult day.  I have not felt like posting here, but I know some of you may be waiting to hear an update.

My transfer that was scheduled for this Sunday has been CANCELLED.

There was a delay in faxing again today, but I finally heard back from Katie this afternoon.  The ultrasound showed that I have a polyp in the middle cavity of my uterus.  Dr. Keenan said that if it would cause us "tremendous hardship" to cancel our transfer this weekend, he would go ahead with our transfer but he would not recommend it.  Plus we would have to wait until Tuesday to do the transfer to give my lining time to build up.  He would prefer that I have the polyp removed first, and move our transfer to November.

Babe and I talked about it and we have decided to postpone our transfer until November.  I will have to schedule a hysteroscopy and D&C to remove the polyp.  This will be the 3rd time I am having surgery to remove a polyp from my uterus.  I've done this 2 other times prior to my IVFs.  This came as a complete surprise as I had an ultrasound in April, right before my mock transfer at NEDC to make sure I didn't have another polyp.  It came back clean and clear.  No polyp.  Dr. Keenan also didn't see any at my mock transfer in May.  However, polyps can and do grow back.  I guess it stayed away for 2 years, and then decided to grow back between May and now, just in time for my transfer.

Katie said the hysteroscopy should be done at the end of October, right before I start Estrace for the November transfer.  I will need to call my clinic that did the last 2 hysteroscopies to have it looked at and schedule the surgery.  I'm not worried because the doctor is awesome and he specializes in this area.  He's also a super sweet guy.  Though outpatient, this is still a surgical procedure and there are risks involved.  There will still be a cost to this surgery for us as we still have not yet met our deductible for this year.

Sigh.... November it is.  So we wait some more.  I am disappointed and discouraged.

This sucks because:

• We have to wait another 2 months for our transfer.
• I will have to go through another surgery to remove my polyp.
• We will have to pay for medications (Lu.pron and Es.trace) again.
• There will be additional costs for the doctor appointments and surgery for this polyp removal.
• If we had had our transfer in September as planned, and if successful, we would be looking forward to "announcing" or adoption and pregnancy to our families during Christmas.
• Flights to Knoxville costs an additional $125 per person in November.  We will also have to pay additional booking fees of $200 per person when we rebook our flights.
• I was looking forward to meeting a few embryo adoption mamas in Knoxville this weekend.

On the other hand:

• It is better to find out about the polyp now than at the transfer.
• Having the polyp removed will give us a better chance of success.  Polyps in the uterus can hinder implantation and can cause miscarriages.
• I was able to cancel my travel plans before tomorrow and avoid paying additional fees for the hotel and car rental (though we will still have to pay rebooking fees for our flights)
• If things go well for Katie (my friend with twins from embryo adoption) whom I wrote about here, we may be at NEDC at the same time in for our transfers November.  She is going back for her babies' siblings.

I emailed Debbie, our NEDC counselor, to let her know that our September transfer has been cancelled.  I also requested that she inform both our donor families about the change.  Debbie was very sympathetic and reassured me that Dr. Keenan and the staff at NEDC want to give me the best chance of achieving a pregnancy.  She thinks that their success rate is so good because they really do follow quality care practices and are committed to making sure my body is physically prepared to receive the embryos.  She said she would be keeping me in her thoughts and prayers, and was pretty sure the donor families would do the same.  I thought that was really sweet of her.

I also updated my acupuncturist about the transfer cancellation and polyp.  We cancelled our appointments for Friday before my trip to Knoxville, as well as the one on Wednesday after my return.  I will resume treatments once the polyp is removed to prevent scar tissues and to continue preparing for our transfer in November.

Once again, my infertility journey is a reminder that I am not in control, but God is.  We can plan, prepare and do all the right things, but it is all in God's timing.

I am again thankful for my awesome friends from my infertility and adoption support groups in real life, as well as those in the blogworld and Face.book.  The support and prayers received have been tremendous, and I feel really blessed.

After a rough day, I'm having a little something to soothe my soul and to say good night.

Cheers!