Other People's Kids

(http://www.layoutsparks.com/1/197031/friendship-grey-children-image-31000.html)

So as I reread my last post, I realize that I sound like a whiny brat, complaining about watching other people's kids.

To clarify, I don't mind watching other people's kids..... sort of.

In a way I kind of dread doing it, but yet when I do it, I usually enjoy it.  To a certain extent.

I enjoy hanging out with my goddaughter and her little brother, and it's great to receive hugs and kisses from them. To know that they care about you, and that you are an important part of their lives.  But at the same time, it's hard because you know they are not yours, and you desperately want kids to call your own.  For someone to call you "mommy", and know they don't want anyone else more than you, because you are their mommy or daddy.  The ones that can fix anything with a hug and a kiss.  You want to hear, "I don't want you, I want my mommy" and know that that person is you!

For Babe, he looks forward to hanging out with his nieces and nephews, and friends' kids.  For him it's a way to influence young minds (good and bad!!).  He's also a kid magnet, and ALL his nieces and nephews just adore him.  Whenever we get together, the kids always ask for Uncle "Babe".  But never for me.

I think this is partly my own fault.  I used to spend a lot more time with the (at that time only a couple of) nieces and nephews.   But as time went on, more and more nieces and nephews started popping up, and more of our friends started having first one, then more kids.  And as we spent more and more years in our infertility struggle, I became more and more reluctant to spend time with the nieces and nephews and friends' kids.

I guess it is a reminder of the struggle of what we desperately want, but can't have.  And to be honest, I resent the attention that Babe gives his nieces and nephews when he should be giving it to our kids, if only we had any.  And the resentment of the time and money we've spent on these kids, in babysitting, in birthday parties, in Christmas/birthday presents, etc.  Will/would they return the favors if we had/have kids?  Would they be offering to watch our kids?

What about you? Do you feel the same way?  Do you like spending time with other people's kids?

If you are still trying to conceive on your own, what are your feeling about other peoples kids, especially your nieces and nephews?  If you once struggled, and now have biological kids or have adopted, how did you feel and how do you feel now?

I'm Back

I'm back.... just got home on Tuesday night from a few days of being out of town.  I'm still trying to catch up on laundry, mail and the usual craziness from coming home from a trip.

These last few days were busy, which included an out-of-state trip for a birthday for an 8-year old nephew, his first communion, his 6 month-old sister's baptism, and my Babe's birthday.  It was of course filled with craziness with all the relatives meeting up for all the festivities.  

My Babe's a kid magnet.  He is the favorite uncle of all the nieces and nephews, and especially the 8 and 5-year old nephews and the 3-year old niece that were there this weekend.  The 6-month old is still too young to know any better, but I'm sure she too will absolutely love my Babe.  All weekend, it was all about "Uncle Babe".  They kids wanted to do everything him, sit next to him at dinner, play games with him, etc.  

It was really sweet to see him spend time with the kids on the Wi.i, giving them airplane rides and playing catch.  Yet at the same time, I was feeling envious.  Here, all these kids get to enjoy spending time doing fun kid related things with my Babe, and we have no kids of our own.  He should be doing these things with our own kids!  My Babe would make such a wonderful dad.  He has so much patience with them.  In the past I used to think that it was good practice for us to hang out with other people's kids.  Now I know that we are so ready for our own.

On a another note, I was able to meet up with my high school friend on our way home.  She too had struggled with infertility for a few years before having her son who's now 1.  It was really nice to catch up, hang out, and chat, even though it was just for a brief visit.  It's also reassuring to know that she has been, and will continue to pray for us for a baby.

ICLW was a total bust for me this month.  I was hoping to do some catch up while out of town, but my SIL's house did not have wireless connection, and I did not want to surf the IF blogs and leave any "evidence" (No one in my Babe's family knows about our TTC struggles) on her home computer.  

I was surprised to find out that I gained a few new followers this month, so thank you for that.  It's been slow but I hope to change that soon.  I am still over a week behind in catching up on blogs, I'm trying really hard to catch up soon!