Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Phone Consult & Short Vacation

First off, I have to apologize for being MIA for a couple of weeks.  If you have been waiting for me to update here, I'm sorry it took me so long.

On 6/4, I had my post transfer phone consult with Dr. Keenan.  He was genuinely sorry and disappointed that our transfer didn't work out.  He said everyone at the clinic were shocked and disappointed that I was not pregnant.  He said there was no good reason why I did not get pregnant.  My lining was good.  The transfer went well.  The embryos were of good quality.  I had an endometrial biopsy done prior to my transfer, and that should have increased my chances.  He doesn't think it is an issue with the embryos since we had embryos from 3 different donor families for all three of my transfers, and each family has had successful pregnancies.

He suspects that I may have implantation issues.  I asked him what that means and he said there is something in the uterus that is not favorable for implantation, but it may be impossible to really know what it is.   He said there are not much research done on implantation issues in humans (since it would threaten a pregnancy).  I asked him about additional testing for issues such as autoimmune issues, as suggested by others.  He said there is no evidence of autoimmune issues causing EARLY pregnancy losses like a chemical pregnancy as in my case.

I asked about the 3 attempt per pregnancy policy at NEDC and if he would make an exception.  He said most women should get pregnant by their third try.  I can't remember his actual words, but it was pretty much no.  He did however bring up the topic of special needs embryos.  He said there is possibly a chance we could try again with special needs embryos, though he was not comfortable with it.  These are embryos that may have a higher risk of medical conditions and is usually overlooked by adoptive families, such as embryos where siblings have been born with a heart condition or downs syndrome, or a parent is HIV positive, etc.  A transfer wish these embryos would be treated the same as other transfers, meaning I would still need a current home study.   He said if that is something Babe and I are interested in, then he will have Angie, the coordinator contact us.  That afternoon itself, Angie emailed me that Dr. Keenan had approved us to do another transfer with special needs embryos and wanted to know if we wanted to see the profiles.  I told her we had not decided and would like her know when/if we were ready to see those profiles.

So, at this point, we don't really know what our next steps are.  We could do another round at NEDC with special needs embryos but I am not sure if I am comfortable with that at this point in time.  We could try another agency or clinic that does embryo adoption or embryo donation, but we would want to make sure if there are any issues that we can rule out that can affect implantation, such as autoimmune issues.  Or we could focus on going back on the route of traditional adoption.  We are currently in a holding pattern as to our next steps.

Instead of making a decision, Babe decided that I needed a break from all this and sent me on a short vacation to Florida.  He would have come with me but he does not have much vacations days.  I went to visit a friend from high school, one I have not seen since I was 15!  It was fun catching up, and it was nice to be able to chat with her about our journey.  She too had gone through infertility, had a couple  of miscarriages and now has a 5-year old son.  We went on a glass bottom boat ride in Key Largo, toured the Everglades on an airboat, checked out alligators, held a baby alligator in my hands, ate some fantastic key lime pies, and checked out the (in)famous South Beach of Miami.  And that is the reason for my delayed update here on my blog.

Checking out fish and corals on the glass bottom boat

View from the back of the boat

Some of the homes and boat in Key Largo

Our neighboring airboat hunting for alligators

The (in)famous South Beach of Miami

17 comments:

  1. Sometimes there are no medical answers that can help us get thru things, but if you have faith that things happen for a reason, that helps to understand that God is in control of all this. I continue to pray that you guys will be blessed with your family soon.

    I don't understand why the dr will do a special needs embryo transfer but won't do another regular transfer for you?? Dealing with special needs is a lot of work and hats off to all those parents who are raising kids with special needs.

    I'm glad you were able to take a little vacation and catch up with your friend. It's nice to be able to take a little time off and enjoy life. :)

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  2. I know this is not typical in each case, but my doctor told me the same thing about the autoimmune issues, but I was tired of always having chemical pregnancies and miscarriages. I decided to give the whole autoimmune thing a shot and made an appointment with a doctor in Chicago. Come to find out I had several immune issues along with clotting factors. I started a new protocol and five months later was pregnant with my girls. I am now 18 weeks pregnant. All the doctors still tell me there are no studies to link the two. All I know is after four years of losses, I started a new treatment and I am pregnant. Please don't get me wrong. I am not trying to push you down that road. Sometimes we need to be willing to try new things though. Wishing you the best on whatever treatment path you choose in the future.

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  3. What a great time away. Such lovely pictures! Praying that the Lord will give you peace in your decision and that you have some answers soon. (((hugs)))

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  4. Glad you were able to get away for a bit and process things. Sounds like a good idea to tackle the possible autoimmune issues. Though I know it is a lot to process and all so unclear.

    If you do want to consider "special needs" embryos at the NEDC, know that not all "special needs" embryos are as risky as they may seem. Jessica (who blogs for the NEDC) actually selected "special needs" embryos as her first match and her twins are both healthy with no issues. Still, I know, a lot to consider and process. Praying for you.

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  5. I am so sorry that you don't have any more answers now than you did before. That must be so incredibly frustrating. I am glad you are approved for special needs embryos and I am sure you will make the right decision for you and your husband in regard to whether or not you proceed there. The get away for you looks like just what the doctor ordered and I am sure you had an amazing time. It makes me wish I were there now! Thinking of you, as always. XO

    Mel @ There Is A Higher Hope

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  6. Thinking of you and looking forward to catching up in person tomorrow!

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  7. I'm so glad you had a chance to escape. The Bible said the Lord grants wisdom to those who ask for it, and to trust that once you have asked for it, you have received it. That is my prayer for you as you make this next step. xoxo.

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  8. I hope you already know I am still sad that you're in this position and hopeful that something positive will happen soon for you! I pray you have wisdom and strength to continue to the next step. I know you must be so tired, so I pray you have peace that surpasses all understanding! Hugs!

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  9. Glad you had a great getaway! Beautiful photos!
    My advice- keep praying for direction. Don't make a decision until you feel His leading. He'll guide you to the path He's laid out for your family. (If you've read any of our story, you know that we were ready for attempt #3 with EA when we clearly felt God lead us to domestic adoption. Our daughter was born just a few months later. His plan is perfect!)

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  10. You have been missed but I am so glad that you had that time in Florida and were able to connect with a friend. I agree with so many of the comments to ask God for guidance and clarity. Often on our journey it was not clear what the right next step was and sometimes I could not see past my tears. So take your time to think, pray and just be. It is so nice to see the love and support you have in the form of so many comments. It is also so convicting and encouraging to see the way you love others. I continue to pray for you and Babe. R

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  11. I'm so glad you got away from everything for awhile. I'm just devastated for you that this didn't work. I hope you get some time to heal from all this, because in the end, what else is there to do? Holding you in my heart. We need to get together, don't we?

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  12. Oh, I'm so sorry the docs don't have any answers for you. That's SO frustrating. :( But I'm glad that you were able to get away and be distracted.

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  13. I'm so sorry your latest transfer didn't work out. I too wouldn't be 100% comfortable adopting special needs embryos, and I think most people would be hesitant to do so. It's nice that you were able to get away for a little while.

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  14. Hugs hugs hugs. I'm here from ICLW and am glad that I found you this month - these things are so freaking difficult to deal with. Please know that you have all of us here to hold you up when it feels like there really is no one who understands. I do. We do.

    Regarding the special needs embryo - this is a huge decision and I think it's wise that you and your partner are taking time to think through this decision. Although there are no guarantees that you will be faced with a special needs child out of this, the possibility is increased ... not something you want to consider lightly.

    Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best. Thank you for sharing.

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  15. Visiting from ICLW. What a lot to have to sort through and decide. I hope your little getaway to visit a friend helped. Prayers for all of you while you make this decision!

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  16. I am glad you are approved for special needs embryos and I am sure you will make the right decision for you and your husband in regard to whether or not you proceed there.

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  17. Wish I had better words. Just wanted you to know I was checking in...and sending love. xoxo

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