Surgery's A Go

Went to see Dr. B today, my gynecologist that did my last 2 hysteroscopies to remove my polyps.  First I saw the ultrasound technician, Mark.  My local clinic sent the ultrasound report with a description of the polyp and a copy of the ultrasound image, but the image was just a mess.  You couldn't see anything but a bunch of black splotches.  They probably just faxed the report over and you know how faxes can be.  Fortunately I brought my copy of the report that the clinic sent me and it was better.  There was also no indication of what the size of the polyp was on the report.  Again, luckily I asked about it when I called the clinic last time (it was 6mm x 6mm x 4mm).

Not that it really mattered since Mark was doing the ultrasound again, and that would be the "formal" report for Dr. B.  When Mark saw the report I brought with me, right away he could see the polyp.  I was kind of blown away because there was no way I could have picked anything out of those images.  Well, he is the one with the trained eye!

We proceeded with the ultrasound and right away, he identified the polyp.  It is in the middle of the uterine cavity, measuring at 7mm x 5mm.  It seems like it had grown a tiny bit in 13 days, though Mark wasn't concerned.  He said it was the size of a Green Giant pea, squeezed so it was a little elongated.  He made sure to note that it was the Green Giant pea, as the are a little bigger than the other types (he's kinda funny like that).

Mark asked why we needed to remove the polyp.  I started giving an explanation and then realized it was a rhetorical question.  Doh!  That made me feel kinda silly.  Anyway, he explained we needed to remove the polyp because it can act like an IUD (intrauterine device, for birth control) in the uterus.  It can irritate the uterus, prevent pregnancies and cause miscarriages.  So, Mark confirmed that I have a polyp that needs to be removed "so that we can get you pregnant!".  His words.  He also noticed that my right ovary sits behind and under my uterus, an odd location.  This is not a surprise to me I already knew this.  We had issues accessing my right ovary during one of my past IVFs.  He also thought I am going ovulate on my left ovary in the next few days.  Is that even possible, since I was on Lu.pron and birth control?

Next, I saw Dr. B.  Since this is going to be my 3rd hysteroscopy, it was a quick appointment.  I told him how my September was cancelled, and how we needed to get this polyp removed in October so I can have a November transfer.  He listened to my heart and breathing to make sure I was healthy and walked me down to his scheduler.  I also explained that it needed to be done before I  started Es.trace for the transfer, but I didn't know when it would be since NEDC would not be able to give me the protocol till later this week, or next.  He gave me the scheduler's business card and I am to call her once I hear back from NEDC with my protocol and the exact timing the surgery needs to be done.

The only complication is Dr. B is going to be gone for a week on a missions trip overseas between October 19th and 25th.  So that might be a problem.  Plus his surgery schedule is getting pretty full.  But he assured me we would work something out.  He usually only does surgeries on Tuesday and Thursdays, but if he had to, he would do the surgery on an evening or even a Saturday.  You gotta love this guy!

So I'm gonna have to bug Katie, the NEDC nurse to see if I can get the protocol as soon as possible!

So for now, my surgery's a go, though I don't know exactly when yet.

I'll leave you with an image of my ultrasound from today.  My polyp is white bean shaped thing between the 2 white arrows.   It seems pretty large to me, but it's actually only 7mm x 5mm.

Image of my polyp (between the 2 white arrows)

Why Does This Have To Be So Hard?

** Please be forewarned:  Whiny, downer of a post ahead **


Why does this have to be so hard?

It shouldn't be so hard to build a family.

Yes, I have gone through lots to get to where I am today.  Months of medications.  Multiple surgeries (plus another coming).  Multiple IUIs.  Multiple IVFs.  Adoption homestudies.  Still more waiting.

It should get easier after this right?  Umm.... no, not really.  If you have gone through the infertility journey, you know it's not as simple as just getting to a positive pregnancy test.

In my case, I have to get to my embryo transfer first.  Hopefully in November.

After the embryo transfer, there is the wait for the pregnancy test, a.k.a the dreaded 2 week wait.  You pray for a positive result with a good number.

I'm sad because at least one embryo adoption mama is not pregnant this week.

Ok, so yay, you have a positive pregnancy test!  But then you wait for your hCG numbers to double everyday.  If your numbers don't double as expected, chances are you are miscarrying.  That's a scary place to be.

OK, your numbers are coming back great.  You experience cramping.  Or spotting.  Or even bleeding.  Is this normal?  Should you be concerned?  So many of these are normal in pregnancies, but it can also mean you are miscarrying.  It seems like you can never be sure, always second guessing if you are losing your baby.

Then comes the wait for your next milestone, the appointment to see your baby's heartbeat.  This can also be a scary time for many.  Most people have wonderful appointments and get to see their healthy babies.  But sometimes the doctors don't see a heartbeat.  Or there is an empty gestational sac, which means there is no baby.

I'm so sad because my high school friend J. just found out today that she has an empty gestational sac.  She is devastated.  She struggled for years before getting pregnant with her first, and now just found out she has no baby after all, after being excited about expecting a second baby.

Most people go through life with healthy, happy pregnancies.  But for many of us that have struggled to get pregnant, and to stay pregnant, it can be a very stressful time.  We never know what the next day may bring.  We pray that we will make it to the next milestone, but also expecting the worst to happen.  We know that a pregnancy is beautiful, but it can also end at any time.  And usually we have no control whatsoever over it.

We feel disconnected, not wanting to get too excited or attached.... just in case it doesn't work out.  This is especially true for those that have experienced multiple losses.

Maybe because we infertiles seek out other infertiles.  We see success stories, but we also see a lot of failures.  Of losses.  We know what can go wrong.  We see and feel the pain that others go through, and we grieve with them.  Even though we may not have gone through the same things, we know it can happen to us.  Though we pray that it doesn't.  But we know it can.

Though I hate the fact that I have never gotten pregnant before in my life, ever; I am grateful that I have not experienced a loss.  But I am also aware that this is a real possibility for me.  I have friends and family member that have experienced losses.  Even my mom lost a baby girl when she was 8 months pregnant.

So when people ask me if I'm excited about my transfer, that there is hope that I may get pregnant, I can't gleefully say "yes!".

Because truthfully, it's pretty scary.  I'm afraid that I might not get pregnant.  And I'm afraid I might..... and have to face all the things that could possibly go wrong.

It sucks that this has to be so difficult.  Sometimes I wish that I was a "normal fertile" person.  One that can just enjoy the excitement of "trying", dreaming of being pregnant and bringing a healthy baby home.  One ignorant of the world of infertility.

As I'm writing this, I'm reminded of the conversation with my friend K who is finally pregnant after 6 losses.   It was fairly early in her pregnancy and she was being cautiously optimistic but not quite yet super excited about her pregnancy.  She was afraid that she would miscarry, expecting it even.  She'd lost all the other pregnancies before, why not this one?  She didn't want to get excited about it, or get attached to this baby.

I reminded K that there really is nothing that she could do, or not do, to cause or prevent a miscarriage.  If it were to happen, it would happen no matter what.  Instead, though difficult, she should enjoy her pregnancy.  She was a mama NOW.  She should savor the time she has with her baby now, even if it is just for a short period of time.  We don't know why God allowed her to get pregnant but then took those babies home early.  Or if God will take this one too.  But He has blest her with this baby now and should savor the time she has with it.

So, I am reminded that I should take my own advice and trust that God has a plan for me.  Whatever He brings..... pregnant or not, miscarry or not, I should enjoy each step that I take.  I need to remind myself to trust in Him because He has a plan for me.  And the plan is good.

He never said it would be easy.  But He did say He will be with me every step of the way.

From The Sidelines

It was a week ago today that I found out my transfer last weekend would be cancelled.  That day and the next few days after was a disappointing and discouraging time for me.  I posted about my cancellation on here, and also in the embryo adoption Face.book group and received a lot of "I'm sorry"s and how it is better to catch the polyp now and have it taken care of before the transfer.

I really appreciate getting all the support and comments on FB as well as on here.  But it still stung.  I didn't want to hear the sorries or "at least" comments.  I wanted to be in TN, having my transfer, and getting my babies in my womb so I could be home with them.  I wanted to be home thinking about if I should POAS (pee on a stick), or if the cramp I was having was a baby trying to implant.  Or if my spotting was normal.

I'm sorry if this sounds like I am ungrateful for all the support and comments.  I truly am grateful.  But I also don't want to be going through this, waiting again.  Trying to figure out when my transfer is going to be.  Trying to figure out details of my surgery.  Looking at flights and hotels again.  Looking at the calendar for the next 2 months again.

It feels kinda like getting a negative beta test.  I guess I am going through a kind of grieving, grieving what could have been.  Should have been.  But also knowing there is a next step.  That this is not the end.

This past week have felt like I am sitting on the sidelines, watching people pass me by.

I watched on as a few other embryo adoption mamas were at NEDC having their transfers.

I watched on as embryo adoption mamas celebrated "Breakout Day" or "Defrost Day", days where their babies were defrosted transferred into their mamas waiting wombs.

I watched as others talked about their PIO shots.  I am grateful I didn't start my PIO shots yet when my transfer was cancelled.

I watched as others peed on a stick (POAS).  Please pray for those still waiting for their betas, and one EA momma that had a negative beta.

And I also watched as an EA momma miscarried on FB.  Please pray for her.


Even though I am not happy to be where I am, having to wait again, I am truly am grateful that we caught the polyp  now before the transfer.  It's just the getting to my November transfer part that will be the challenge for me now.

When my transfer was cancelled, I let Debbie our NEDC counselor know about it and requested she let the donor families know.  Debbie passed on a couple of emails from both our donor moms with notes of encouragement, and that they were praying for us, my surgery and our future transfer.

It is a wonderful feeling knowing that your donor families are praying for you.  Sometimes it is hard to remember that they may be just as excited for me to have a successful pregnancy as we are.

September 2013 ICLW

Welcome ICLWers!

This should be a very exciting time for me.  

I should be in Knoxville, TN right now for the transfer of our adopted embryos from on the National Embryo Donation Center (NEDC) this Sunday.

Well at least that was the plan.  Two days before we were to hop on the airplane, we found out that I have a polyp in my uterus.  Dr. Keenan from NEDC recommended that we postpone our transfer until November.  So sadly, I had to cancel my travel plans and wait another couple of months before I get to meet my adopted babies waiting for me in TN.  In the mean time I have an appointment with a specialist at the end of the month to schedule surgery to remove my polyp.

This is obviously a very disappointing time for me.  After trying for almost 10 years, including multiple rounds of Clo.mid, IUIs, surgeries and 4 rounds of IVFs, AND turning 40 in August, I have to wait yet again.  However, I want to make sure that my body is ready and in the ideal condition to give my babies the best chance at life.

It is another reminder that no matter how much I try to plan, prepare and control things, in the end I am not in control, but God is.

It sounds like a cliche, but it really is all in God's timing.

For those of you new to my blog or to see how I got here, swing on over to my "Our Journey So Far" page.

Thanks for visiting.  Hope you stick around to see how things play out in the next couple of months.

Polyp #4, not #3

I received instructions from Katie, the NEDC nurse today.  I am now totally off Es.trace and should expect to get my period in the couple of weeks.  Once that starts I will start my BCPs (birth control pills) and will stay on BCPs until I am directed to stop.  This week and next, NEDC will be super busy with the September transfers.  I just saw on NEDC's FB page that there are 28 recipients families this month.  Not sure if that number includes me or not.  Katie will send me my protocol for my November transfer sometime the end of next week or the following week, after all the September transfers are done.  NEDC's November transfers will be done on November 19th through the 21st.  So our transfer should be one of those dates.

I was able to schedule my appointment with the specialist who will do my polyp removal surgery for September 30th.  That is the soonest I can get in to see him.  I want to make sure that I can get on his surgery schedule for the end of October.  I am working on getting my lab results from my local clinic here that did my ultrasound faxed to him.

When NEDC received my ultrasound result yesterday, it indicated that there was a polyp but for some reason did not state what the size was.  So I called my local clinic today and spoke to an ultrasound technician about it.  She said at the appointment on Tuesday, the polyp was "tiny", 6mm x 6mm x 4mm.  She said at my baseline ultrasound appointment on August 30th, they would not have seen the polyp because the it would have looked like a "snowflake in a snowstorm".  But since then (17 days), the polyp would have been engorged with blood and have grown to that size.  I suppose  the polyp isn't large, but when you are trying to get pregnant, and in comparison to the size of an embryo to be implanted, it's best to remove it.  I want to make sure we have the best chance for a successful pregnancy.

I was trying to figure out when my other surgeries for polyps were, so I checked my "Our Journey So Far" page.  I suddenly realized that this is actually polyp #4, not #3.  This will be my 4th surgery to remove a polyp!  The past 3 hysteroscopies were done on:
     September 2005
     March 2008
     December 2008

Gosh, I hope this is the last polyp I will have for another few years.  And hopefully by then, my family will be complete, and I wouldn't care less if there any polyps in my uterus.

Cancelled

Today has been a difficult day.  I have not felt like posting here, but I know some of you may be waiting to hear an update.

My transfer that was scheduled for this Sunday has been CANCELLED.

There was a delay in faxing again today, but I finally heard back from Katie this afternoon.  The ultrasound showed that I have a polyp in the middle cavity of my uterus.  Dr. Keenan said that if it would cause us "tremendous hardship" to cancel our transfer this weekend, he would go ahead with our transfer but he would not recommend it.  Plus we would have to wait until Tuesday to do the transfer to give my lining time to build up.  He would prefer that I have the polyp removed first, and move our transfer to November.

Babe and I talked about it and we have decided to postpone our transfer until November.  I will have to schedule a hysteroscopy and D&C to remove the polyp.  This will be the 3rd time I am having surgery to remove a polyp from my uterus.  I've done this 2 other times prior to my IVFs.  This came as a complete surprise as I had an ultrasound in April, right before my mock transfer at NEDC to make sure I didn't have another polyp.  It came back clean and clear.  No polyp.  Dr. Keenan also didn't see any at my mock transfer in May.  However, polyps can and do grow back.  I guess it stayed away for 2 years, and then decided to grow back between May and now, just in time for my transfer.

Katie said the hysteroscopy should be done at the end of October, right before I start Estrace for the November transfer.  I will need to call my clinic that did the last 2 hysteroscopies to have it looked at and schedule the surgery.  I'm not worried because the doctor is awesome and he specializes in this area.  He's also a super sweet guy.  Though outpatient, this is still a surgical procedure and there are risks involved.  There will still be a cost to this surgery for us as we still have not yet met our deductible for this year.

Sigh.... November it is.  So we wait some more.  I am disappointed and discouraged.

This sucks because:

• We have to wait another 2 months for our transfer.
• I will have to go through another surgery to remove my polyp.
• We will have to pay for medications (Lu.pron and Es.trace) again.
• There will be additional costs for the doctor appointments and surgery for this polyp removal.
• If we had had our transfer in September as planned, and if successful, we would be looking forward to "announcing" or adoption and pregnancy to our families during Christmas.
• Flights to Knoxville costs an additional $125 per person in November.  We will also have to pay additional booking fees of $200 per person when we rebook our flights.
• I was looking forward to meeting a few embryo adoption mamas in Knoxville this weekend.

On the other hand:

• It is better to find out about the polyp now than at the transfer.
• Having the polyp removed will give us a better chance of success.  Polyps in the uterus can hinder implantation and can cause miscarriages.
• I was able to cancel my travel plans before tomorrow and avoid paying additional fees for the hotel and car rental (though we will still have to pay rebooking fees for our flights)
• If things go well for Katie (my friend with twins from embryo adoption) whom I wrote about here, we may be at NEDC at the same time in for our transfers November.  She is going back for her babies' siblings.

I emailed Debbie, our NEDC counselor, to let her know that our September transfer has been cancelled.  I also requested that she inform both our donor families about the change.  Debbie was very sympathetic and reassured me that Dr. Keenan and the staff at NEDC want to give me the best chance of achieving a pregnancy.  She thinks that their success rate is so good because they really do follow quality care practices and are committed to making sure my body is physically prepared to receive the embryos.  She said she would be keeping me in her thoughts and prayers, and was pretty sure the donor families would do the same.  I thought that was really sweet of her.

I also updated my acupuncturist about the transfer cancellation and polyp.  We cancelled our appointments for Friday before my trip to Knoxville, as well as the one on Wednesday after my return.  I will resume treatments once the polyp is removed to prevent scar tissues and to continue preparing for our transfer in November.

Once again, my infertility journey is a reminder that I am not in control, but God is.  We can plan, prepare and do all the right things, but it is all in God's timing.

I am again thankful for my awesome friends from my infertility and adoption support groups in real life, as well as those in the blogworld and Face.book.  The support and prayers received have been tremendous, and I feel really blessed.

After a rough day, I'm having a little something to soothe my soul and to say good night.

Cheers!

Delayed.....?

Today has not turned out the way I had hoped at all.  This whole cycle has been going so well, until now.

At the ultrasound appointment this morning, I was waiting to see what my lining was.  I was expecting to hear a 10, or something in the double digits.  Instead, all I heard was a 6.3.  So after the ultrasound was done, I asked the nurse what the lining was at and she said 6.3mm.  Uh oh.... that didn't sound good.  I asked what was she expecting.  She said she didn't know the appointment is for (the order is just for an ultrasound and blood draw for estradiol) and I told her I was scheduled for a frozen embryo transfer this weekend. She said every clinic is different but at this local clinic they wanted to see a 7 or higher.  My first thought was oh no, I'm in trouble.  I then had my blood drawn and left the clinic.  The entire time, I thought this is not looking good.

I emailed Katie, the nurse at NEDC asking her if my 6.3mm lining was bad news.  She said the meds could be adjusted and our transfer may be delayed a day or two, but probably not cancelled.  We would have to wait for the faxed  ultrasound and the estradiol numbers from the blood work.  She would call this afternoon with instructions.

At 3:30 pm, Katie called and said that she had not received anything from my clinic here yet.  I needed to call the clinic to make sure they fax the lab results over.  Thank God I had emailed her about my lining.  She said instead of waiting,  I needed to take 1/4 tablet of Estrace vaginally tonight and tomorrow night to help build up the lining.  I didn't even know that you could take Estrace tablet vaginally!  She would call me with more instructions tomorrow once she heard from the clinic here.

So I called the local clinic asking them to re-fax my results to NEDC.  I got a call later from the clinic that they did already fax my results over earlier but it had come back with an error.  All faxes to other clinics worked fine.  They tried faxing multiple times and they were still not able to get through NEDC.  And they weren't able to reach NEDC since they were already closed (Knoxville is an hour ahead of us).  The local clinic will try again tomorrow.

So now I have to wait.  I am in limbo because I do not know if our transfer will still be on Sunday.  If it is delayed, I don't know if it will it be for one or two days.  Or if I would need another appointment at the local clinic to check my lining and estradiol numbers again.

If our transfer is delayed one day, we will not have to change our travel plans.  We booked everything so we could stay and extra day just in case our transfer is delayed.  If we are delayed 2 days, then we will have to change our travel plans.  That means we would have to cough up an extra $200 per person just to change our flights.  And that is assuming we can get flights for the same price.  Also not sure if we will be able to find hotel rooms or car rental for new dates, and if that would cost us even more.  I hate that it has to be about more money.

Sigh.....  Looking at the big picture, I should be grateful.  It is just delayed, not cancelled.  Plus, it is just money (though a lot of it).

In the end, it is the unknown that is driving me crazy.  I just want to know what's going on.  I need to plan, make sure everything is taken care of.  And I guess I am disappointed that this hurdle has come up.  That I may not be able to meet the other NEDC embryo adoption mamas this weekend.

On the other hand, I can postpone starting my progesterone in oil shots just a little bit longer.

Please pray that my estradiol numbers come back good, that I can keep my Sunday transfer date.  And if I can't then pray that it will be delayed by one day, not two.

I'll keep you updated when I find out more about my next steps.

Ultrasound Appointment and Six Flags

I have my ultrasound and bloodwork appointment in the morning.  I will find out later in the day if my lining is thick enough and estradiol numbers are good enough for our transfer on Sunday 9/22.  Please pray this will be a go for us.

Last night someone posted in the Embryo Adoption Face.book group that there is an Asian/Caucasian couple looking for someone to adopt their ONE embryo.  Oh, it's so tempting to say I want it too!!  Usually people are not going to adopt just one embryo due to the cost.  I don't know what NEDC's policy is on finding our own embryos or if we would have to have another ODA (Open Donation Agreement), which mean additional cost, if we plan to have contact.  I guess I will check with NEDC when we are there this weekend.  Also, we will have to wait and see how this transfer goes first.  Either way, I pray that this embryo will find a home and have a chance at life.

We were able to get to Chicago this weekend.  We got to Chinatown and and had our food fix there.  Then on Saturday we spent almost the entire day at Six Flags Great America.  The weather was perfect, sunny and cool, and the crowds were not too bad.  Minnesota has a similar park called Valleyfair, but the rides cannot compare with the ones at Six Flags.  I had planned out the rides that we absolutely had to go on, and the ones we could skip altogether either because they were kiddie rides, or they were the same ones we had in Minnesota.  We were only going for the thrill rides!

Our favorites were (in order) X-Flight (no rails above or below you, but on the side instead), Raging Bull and Batman: The Ride.  We rode each of those at least twice.  The others we rode include Superman: Ultimate Flight (you ride face down, on your belly!), Giant Drop, Viper, and American Eagle.  We were worn out by the end of the day.  But we had so much fun!!  I'm such an adrenaline junkie!

I'm so glad we were able to make this trip to Six Flag for possibly our last hurrah on the thrill rides!  Hopefully after this weekend, I will not be able to go on thrill rides for a long while!

The Superman ride seat

Warning to secure loose articles before the ride.  Countless lost cellphones,  sunglasses, etc.

The video below shows how the Superman ride starts off.

Off they go!  The Superman ride, where your ride face down, on your belly!

X-Flight rides sideways, THROUGH a control tower.

X-Flight: Nothing above or below you.  The railings are on your side.

Embryo Adoption.... Down Memory Lane

I was reading through some of my past posts when I came across this post which I wrote about embryo adoption for the first time.  This was written almost exactly 3 years from our mock transfer in May.

Wow, 3 years.  At that time, we were just early into our IVF journey and had just met Katie who was first time.  Embryo adoption was almost unheard of.  Three years later, Babe and I are also embarking on this journey.  So much has changed.  Katie now has 16 month old boy/girl twins.  I have met others in the blogworld as well as in real life who have adopted or are adopting embryos.

I'm praying that embryo adoption is the way that God is going to grow our family.  And along the way, I hope to be able to introduce others to the amazing world of embryo adoption as well.

Last Day of Lupron!

Today was my last Lu.pron shot!  Woo hoo!  So glad that is done with.  Hopefully my hot flashes will go away now.  I also increased my Es.trace to three times a day instead of two starting today.

I heard back from NEDC about my donor fees.  My first donor's fees ($775) included labs, shipping and storage expenses for the embryos.  The fees can vary greatly for each donor because some process labs through their own insurance, but others pay out of pocket and pass it on the the adoptive families.  Some donors assume the responsibility of the storage fees while others pass it on to the adoptive families.  In the case of my second donor family ($77) , there is only the fees for shipping the embryos.  If I remember it correctly, this family conceived their embryos via IVF through a trial, so most of their cost was covered by their clinic.

Only 11 days before my transfer!  Babe and I have decided to take a mini vacation and drive the 6+ hours to Chicago this weekend.  We are going to Six Flags Great America!  I had wanted to celebrate my 40th birthday with a big bang on some crazy roller coaster rides but timing was not great and Babe was not able to take time off due to busy work schedules.  But we are doing this now.

I am super excited because this could  possibly the last time I can go on thrill rides for a while (**keeping fingers crossed**).  If When baby comes along, I won't be able to do this easily.

Babe got Friday off, so we are planning on leaving sometime tomorrow afternoon and arrive late at night.  Not sure what our plans are yet Friday, but we will keep it open and take it easy.  Maybe hit Chinatown.  Will be spending all Saturday at Six Flags.

Bring on the rides!! I'm so ready for this!

Donor Fees Surprise

I received an email from NEDC's accountant today about the donor fees that are due at our transfer on 9/22.  These fees are for embryo shipping, legal, counseling, storage and lab work relating to the cost of getting the embryos to NEDC.

The fees for our first donor is $775, and the second is $77.

I was a little shocked at the cost of the donor fees!  I wasn't expecting it to cost that much.  For some reason I was only expecting it to be between $200 and $300 per donor.  Not even sure where I got that number from but that was what I was expecting.  So the $775 was a shocker.   Also, the second donor's fee is only $77.  That's quite a huge difference between the 2 donors.  There can be many factors for the difference in cost, though I am not sure what.  I think I may ask the clinic about this.

We will only be responsible for the fees of the donor that embryos are thawed from for our transfer.  So, if we only thaw embryos from one family, we will not need to pay the fees for the second family.  In our case, we would be paying the $775 for 3 embryos, and potentially pay the $77 for the remaining 5.

To be honest, it makes me second guess our decision to switch the order of our embryos.  Now we are paying the higher fees for our first donor. I hate that money has such a huge impact on our decisions!

But in the end, it's just money.  If it works, it will all be worth it.  Plus if we end up having to use both donors, it will only be an additional $77, averaging out to be around $426 per donor.  That's not too bad right?

If you did a donated or adopted FET (frozen embryo transfer), what did you end up paying for the donor fees?

On another note, I sent the big check for our embryo transfer fee in the mail on Tuesday.  Looks like we are all paid up here, and only have to worry about the donor fees now, which is due on the day of the transfer.

Also, I checked with the Katie, the NEDC nurse and found out that at my baseline appointment on Friday, my lining was 4mm, and my estradiol level was less than 12.  Not sure what the numbers were required to be, but I was good to start Es.trace.

Hello September & MN State Fair

Hello, September!  Can't believe September is finally here.  I've been waiting for months for it to show up and it is finally here.  I can't believe are have completed 2/3 of the year already.  Yay!  Only 20 days to my transfer!

So my period finally arrived on Saturday.  Today, I started my 1/2 dose of Es.trace twice a day.  Unfortunately, I have experienced a heavy period yesterday and today I had some pretty intense cramping with the heavy flow.  This is unusual for me.  Maybe it is the fact that I am finally shedding my old lining, since I was on BCP since June.  Maybe it's a combination of my hormones, the Lu.pron, plus the addition of the Es.trace today.  I don't know.  The cramping has subsided now, but it was no fun.  I think I have a fairly high tolerance for pain, but earlier today I was a little worried.  I hope we are done with the cramping.

Today is Labor Day, and in MN, it also means the last day of the Minnesota State Fair.  Babe and I decided to go to the Fair yesterday.  It was the first day we had beautiful weather, with the high in the 70's.  We were in the 90's all week, with the humidity, we had a heat index of over 100 degrees.  So yesterday was a perfect day to go to the fair.  Unfortunately, I think the entire state of MN also had the same great idea and showed up the same time as we did.  The crowds there were insane!  It was impossible to walk without running into people.

Food's a huge part of the visit, so we tried a couple types of food-on-a-stick including lamb chops on-a-stick and deep fried maple glazed bacon on-a-stick (yummy!), topped with chocolate and sweet chipotle sauce.  We also had swedish egg coffee, eggplant fries and some brownie sundae.  We really didn't go crazy with the food this time, partly because the lines were so long for everything.  We were glad we went because this could possibly be the last year we could go to the fair without kids!

The incredible sea of people at the fair!

Lamb chops on a stick

The incredible lines of Sweet Martha's Cookies, plus people trying to get by

Eggplant fries

I love the idea of rocking chairs for seating area at the senior wellness exhibit