"He is Mine", A Poem

I came across this poem on Britney's blog Waiting on God.  Beautiful.... for those who have adopted or thinking about adopting.

A reminder of what adoption is for a birth mother, an adoptive mother, and God's plan.

He is Mine

I tiptoed into your room one night.

I watched you sleeping there.

Your tiny body looked so snug

Wrapped in peaceful slumber's care.

I thought of how you came to be

The child we'd longed to know.

I wondered at the sight of you:

"How could she let you go?"

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I

Felt the pain she must have known.

For I will have to let you go

Some day when you are grown.

A mother I might never meet

Had given me her son.

Yet, surely as you've filled my heart,

A piece of hers you'd won.

"How could she let you go?"

The question kept returning.

And in the depths of my own heart.

A question kept on burning.

"How can I ever let you go

When years have come and gone?"

I stood there by your crib until

The nighttime turned to dawn.

And as the sun peeked through the shades,

The voice of God broke through.

"I trusted her to give him life

And now I'm trusting to you.

"To show him what is right and wrong,

to love him and to be

The one who teaches him the way

To come back home to me.

"He wasn't hers to give, you know.

And he's not yours to own.

I've placed him in your life to love

But he is mine … on loan."

-Valerie Kay Gwin

(from Chicken Soup for The Adopted Soul)

Kung Fu Panda 2: An Adoption Story

Did you know know that Po, the lovable panda, also the main character in Kung Fu Panda and Kung Fu Panda 2 (played by actor Jack Black) was adopted?

Po getting a bath from his dad, Mr. Ping in Kung Fu Panda 2
(image taken from http://www.ign.com/blogs/rehpotsirch/2011/06/24/kung-fu-panda-2-most-emotional-animated-film-in-a-while)

Babe and I just watched KFP 2 tonight, and the storyline among other things, revolves around Po trying to figure out who he is, and what happened to his "real" parents.

I don't know about you, but it never occurred to me when watching the first KFP that Po may be adopted, even though his dad, Mr. Ping, was a goose and he was a panda.  Sure I thought it was funny that Po was so different from his dad, in looks (species!), in priorities, and even when he mentioned the "family secret recipe" for the noodle soups.  But for some reason, never did it cross my mind that he was adopted.

Did it cross your mind?

If you have not seen KFP 2, I'd highly recommend it.  The movie itself is funny and well done.  Po's adoption story and his relationship with his goose father is very sweet, and the emotions portrayed well in the story.

39....Another Year

It's here again.... ANOTHER BIRTHDAY!

I turn 39 today, my last year in the 30's.

I'm not quite sure how to feel about it.  In the past, getting older never really bothered me too much.  Thanks to my Asian genes, most people that do not know me very well think I'm younger than I actually am.  However, after struggling with infertility for more than 8 years, turning 39.... almost 40 is depressing.  My sister-in-law just turned 39 last week, and she has 4 kids, with the oldest being 10.  I'm 39 and have zero kids.  I remember before she got pregnant with her first, her telling me how important it was that she had to get pregnant before turning 30.  Well I'm almost (not quite) 40, and still no kid.

So what can I achieve between now and before I turn 40?  Will I have a baby/child before then?  Highly unlikely.  I will most likely join the older-than-40 first time parents club.  I worry I may be getting too old for this.... will I have the energy for kids in my 40's?

Any one of you out there a first time parent in your 40's?

Not-So-Happy Birthday to me.

Not Much Happening......

Hello there.....

Wow, I can't believe that it's been more than 4 months since my last posting.  I have no excuse.  Just not too much happening.

It's really quite sad since we have been sitting on our adoption paperwork and just need to get it done.  We had our adoption training in April, but not much more progress, so really nothing to report.

I have been contemplating whether to continue blogging here, or start a new blog for our adoption.  I feel like I am in no man's land.... still in the infertility world, but not quite in the adoption world yet.  I would like a blog that I can write without being anonymous, one that I can share with my friends and family the progress of our adoption, but at the same think I like being able to rant about infertility and the adoption process without worrying about offending any friends or family in real life.  But I don't want to manage two blogs.  I think I will wait we are "official", after we turn in our paperwork to decide.

I'm wondering if people are still reading.  Since the last time I was here ( a LONG time ago), I've had a few other followers.

If you are still reading, please comment and let me know  =)