PUPO In A Week!

If all goes well, I will be PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise) in a week!

It seems pretty unreal that in a week, I could very well be pregnant.

Am I excited?  Kind of.

Am I nervous?  Kind of.

On the FB embryo adoption/donation group, there are a few ladies that will have their transfers next week like me.  It seems like everyone is pretty psyched up about the transfers.  I guess I kinda am too.  Though, like I have mentioned in the past, cautiously optimistic.

After years of IUIs and IVFs, it all seems too familiar.  Excitement ....... kind of.  I'm also familiar with the feeling of failure when it doesn't work.  So for now, cautiously optimistic.

After waiting almost 2 years in the adoption process (first international adoption and now embryo adoption), it feels like we have finally arrived.  Like being matched in a traditional domestic infant adoption, or receiving a referral in an international adoption.  In a week, I will finally get to meet my babies for the first time.  And hopefully I will be able to meet him/her/them in 9 months!

I haven't done this in a while, but I just took some time and looked at the pictures of both sets of twins of our donor families.  It brings me such joy to see these beautiful kids, knowing that I will be meeting with their siblings for the very first time next week.  I get so emotional it brings tears to my eyes.  I'm already crying and blowing my nose.  We could potentially have children that look a lot like them!

I am so grateful for these two families that have decided to donate their beautiful embryos so that we could have hope and the chance to became parents.  I pray that God will allow us to have a successful pregnancy, not just so that we can be parents (though we want it so badly!), but also so that we can have a relationship with one or both these families.  I really like these families!!  I also do not want to disappoint the families if this does not work.

I have to remind myself to trust God.  A friend once said, enjoy where you are at, no matter what the future outcome may be.  Be excited that I could potentially be pregnant next week.  Savor being PUPO after the transfer.  Even though things may not turn out the way we hope in the end, enjoy it while we can.  Because if things do turn out wonderfully and we didn't savor the moment, we would have missed out on enjoying the moment while we had it.  We can't take back what is in the past.

So this is a note to self to be more excited.  Trust that God has a perfect plan.

In the morning, I will have my appointment for my ultrasound and blood work to check to see if my lining is thick enough and my estradiol numbers high enough for my transfer on Wednesday.  Please pray that my lining is at least 7 mm at the appointment.  If not, we may have to delay the transfer a couple of days, like we would have had to do in September.  But we ended up canceling altogether due to the polyp in my uterus.  I will post tomorrow on whether we are a go on Wednesday.