Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Infertility Etiquette (from RESOLVE)

I was reading through some postings on BabyCenter a while ago when I came across the "Infertility Etiquette" article.  I have read this before in the past and found myself wishing that everyone that has not struggled with TTC would have read this.

Not many people in my circle of friends or family know about our struggles with TTC, so it has been really difficult encountering some of the following.  I am sharing this because I know most of you have or will experience some or all of these.   Feel free to share this with others that love and care for you.

Below is the super paraphrased version of the article.  Please read the full article here on the RESOLVE website.  It's really worth the read.

Infertility Etiquette, by Vita Alligood
  • Don't tell them to relax
  • Don't minimize the problem
  • Don't say there are worse things that could happen
  • Don't say they aren't meant to be parents
  • Don't ask why they aren't trying IVF
  • Don't play doctor
  • Don't be crude
  • Don't complain about your pregnancy
  • Don't treat them like they are ignorant
  • Don't gossip about your friend's condition
  • Don't push adoption (yet)
  • Let them know you care
  • Remember them on Mother's Day
  • Support their decision to stop treatments

p/s Please feel free to share or repost on your blog.  Just make sure you link to the original RESOLVE page.


  1. So happy you posted this, as I too am not open abour our loss or struggles there after. I may steal this and post it on my blog too if that's okay?

    Hugs and know that I am sending you lots of love and prayers in the days ahead as you journey on to success :)


  2. Of course! Feel free to repost and share.

  3. Thank you so very much for sharing this!

  4. Reposting!!!! Thanks for putting this up. Great advice that I wish everyone would read. Sadly...the only folks that follow my blog are fellow IF'ers. Funny how that works.

  5. Thank you SO much for posting this! I sent this to my hubby, who sometimes (unintentionally) says hurtful things because he just doesn't know what to say! It is an amazing article that I think EVERYONE should read!!!

  6. Great Article! I think I will repost it later this week, thanks for sharing!


  7. Thanks for posting this article. I guess I am what you call a "fertile". One of my dearest friends is dealing with IF right now and I have been reading so many IF blogs lately trying to figure out what I can do or say to comfort her in some way. I am terrified of hurting her feelings or being insensitive accidentally. This list is a helpful reminder of what NOT to say (not that I would ever tell her to 'just relax' or anything). If you or any of your readers have any suggestions of things that ARE helpful to hear, I'd really appreciate it. I just want her to know that I care and even though I can't imagine the pain she's going through, I want to be there for her.