Monday, October 18, 2010

An Outsider

I feel like an outsider.

It's been more than a month since my last post, and I can't believe it.

I'm a bad blogger......

Ok, now that I've gotten that off my chest, I really do need to apologize for being a bad blogger.  And a bad blog reader.  Like I said, my last post was more then a month ago.  I was a total ICLW failure.  Lots of people stopped by to say hi during ICLW week, but of course I did not comment nor read any blogs that week.  At all.

I feel like a traitor.  Now that I started my job (more than a month ago), I have been too busy and tired to read or update my blog.  And to be honest, work have kept my mind off of TTC.  Except of course those days where AF shows up.  Or I read pregnancy announcements on Face.book.  Or when we celebrated our niece's first birthday.

But all in all, not thinking about TTC have been good for me, and that's where the feeling like a traitor comes in.  I feel like I have abandoned the TTC community, but I have not!  I also realize that I really miss reading blogs.  And I do miss blogging.  But sometimes, it's also frustrating because I don't really have anything TTC related to update.

I'm also worried to that if start reading blogs again, I'll hear about positive pregnancies and baby updates.  I'm terrified that I will be jealous.  Of course we all hope that those in the TTC community eventually get their dreams of having a baby.  Yet, jealousy is always looming at my doorstep.

So, I guess this is just my way of saying "Hi", that I am still around, and that I have not fallen off the face of the earth.  I hope that you will still continue to read my infrequent postings.

And that I still have Baby On Mind.

13 comments:

  1. If you're able to get your mind off of TTC (other than when you have those unavoidable reminders) then ENJOY and don't feel bad about not blogging or not reading. You've been a great support to many people and now is a time to just focus on you and finding things you can enjoy right now. I'm sure you will find a path that can make that baby a reality. When it's time for that fight, you'll be back with lots of people rooting for you!

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  2. Sounds like you are doing well! Thanks for stopping by to say Hi!

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  3. I was thinking about you the other day and wondering how the new job is going! I'm glad it's keeping you distracted! That's not a bad thing, enjoy that! Glad you're still doing well!!

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  4. I'm new to your blog (really can't remember where I found you...probably through another IF blog), and wanted to say Hi. I understand falling away from the blogosphere occasionally. I have done it myself. Sometimes we have to to protect ourselves. I fight the demon of jealousy too, and sometimes it's just too hard to bear. I've had to unfollow a couple of blogs when my jealousy got overwhelming, but the times when I feel like myself again, I can check back in and start reading again. I think that's normal.
    I'll be keeping you in my prayers as you get back in the swing of things. :)

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  5. Hey there. I hven't blogged in so long that I was just going through everyone's blog nd catching up on how they've been. So don't feel bad you're not the only one who's "bad blogger", lol

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  6. Hey girl! You're not an outsider or a traitor! Believe it or not, God has things for us outside the realm of TTC or treatments... and that's actually a good thing! We're more than infertile. We're women of God. Continued prayers for you and the "Babe" ;-)

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  7. Sending hugs and love and prayers to you always. Sometimes we just have to do what we have to do to protect our hearts.

    And that jealousy thing, its understandable...we've all been there :( You just do the best you can.

    Take care of you and I'm so happy your job is going so well :)

    xxx

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  8. Sometimes I feel like I should post something but I got nothing! I'm so afraid if our IVF doesn't work...then what? I'll always be around even if we both fall off the face of blogland! Heart ya girl!

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  9. I don't have any good, respectable reason to have almost 700 blog posts to catch up on Google reader other than it's just hard sometimes to live (and relive) through all the deep emotions of others at the same time you are wading through your own.....we get it and still are glad you are doing ok and praying for you!

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  10. Hey girl! I wore your earrings today...I'm needing a major miracle and thought they might help. Hope you're doing well!

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  11. I can relate to feeling "jealous". So many of the girls on our FB support group are expecting and posting pics with baby bumps...I so wish it was me. It helps to know that I'm not alone in this!

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  12. On another note...I gave you a Stylish Blogger Award. Go to my page to check it out: http://www.constantly-in-pain.blogspot.com/

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