Quick Update: PUPO!

Just a quick update.....

I just got knocked up by another man who is NOT my husband!  LOL!

We got done with our transfer.  NEDC thawed all 5of my 2PN embryos and three survived and grew into multi-cells (day 3).  They transferred all 3.  Multi-cell embryos are only graded with a number from 1 to 5, with 1 being the best quallity and 5 being the worst.  We transferred two grade 1 embryos and one grade 2 embryo.  One of the grade 1 embryos was actually a morula, so even further along, about a day 4.  I asked Carol, the embryologist what are the chances of us getting triplets and she said not very good, since the grade 2 embryo's cell is fragmented. 

So, I am PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise)!  I need to go take a nap now and sleep off my valium.  I will write later with a more detailed post about transfer day, probably after I get home.  But I just wanted to give you an update because I know there are many of you that have been/are praying for me and this transfer.  Thank you so much!  That means the world to me.

10dp5dt

Hi everyone!  First of all, I need to apologize for the late posting.  Especially after my transfer.  A lot has happened since my last post more than a week ago, so I wanted to get this out right away before I forget.  My only main excuse is that I have been sick.  I have this terrible cough that has gotten worse since I got back from my trip to TN.

Anyway, I still owe you a post about my transfer, but that will be another post.  I promise.

But here's what's been happening:

• Today I am 10dp5dt (10 days post 5 day transfer)
• According to this due date calculator, I am officially 4 weeks 1 day pregnant.  
• This week we had a beautiful funeral service for Babe's grandma.  Though it was a bitterly cold and windy day.
• On Sunday, which was 4dp5dt, I had some pretty strong cramping like my period was coming.  I also spotted for a day or so.  I believe this is a sign of the embryos implanting into my uterus.  It's a good sign!  I don't think I've ever had implantation cramping or spotting before in my previous IVFs.
• My PIO shots have been getting better.  I think we in the beginning we were injecting a little too low and I was sitting on my injection sites.  Now we are aiming a little higher.  The other day, Babe hit a blood vessel on my left side.  I knew something was wrong right away because the shot hurt.  He found blood when he drew the plunger up to check for blood.  He just pulled the needle out and injected another site.  Fortunately no blood shot out like I've heard in some stories.  However, that left a HUGE bump and a nasty bruise.  It still hurts after a few days but has gotten a little better.  Then on my other (right) side, one of the injection sites left a huge lump.  Not huge in diameter, but it was tall/high.  I have nicknamed this bump "Mount Vesuvius" (don't ask me why).   I was sure everyone could see I have this lump through my pants.  This too has gotten better after a few days.  But between those two huge lumps, and the other twice daily shots, I constantly feel like someone stuck 2 bean bags down the back of my pants!
• I have not been able to sleep well since I started my PIO shots.  Because of my sore butt, I have been trying to sleep on my front which does not work for me at all.  Every so often I am able to fall asleep on my side without laying my injection sites.  This means I sleep in a weird angle, and my back has been sore.  And when I wake up in the mornings, my back and butt are just so sore I can barely walk.  In addition, because of my weird sleeping angle, I've had cramps in my left calf in the middle of the night or in the morning.  Those are still sore till this day.
• We have had to tell both my brother-in-law (Babe's brother) and his wife about our embryo adoption.  Babe went hunting last weekend and this weekend, so BIL and SIL have been my backup shot givers.  They are both nurses and live not too far away, so they were the best choice for us.  We made them promise not to tell anyone about this, unless/until it works.
• Currently I am sick.  If you remember, I had a cough that would not go away, and I was worried it would impact my surgery and transfer.  After we got back from our trip to NEDC, my cough worsened.  It is so bad, it sounds terrible and super loud, it's scary.  It's also different from before because this time, there is wheezing comes from deep in my chest.  And when I cough my whole body is just so worn out.  I went to the doctor's the other day and because there I may be pregnant, they could not do a chest x-ray on me.  Instead, they drew my blood and did a white blood cell count instead.  The count was elevated indicating I had a bacterial infection.  So they sent me home with antibiotics, nebulizers and an inhaler.  I go back on Wednesday for a follow up appointment, but to be honest, I have not felt any better.   I hope things get better soon because I am so worn out from all the coughing.
• With me being sick, we stayed home for Thanksgiving this year.  This is the first time we have not spent the Thanksgiving holiday with family or friends.  But it was nice because I got to just rest and not worry about infecting others with my cough.
• My beta is scheduled for 10:30 am on Monday.  Because of the Thanksgiving holiday, I have to wait until Monday instead of Friday.  I have not tested at home yet though I could have yesterday.  And to be honest, I don't really have a desire to test.  Maybe because I am sick.  But mostly because I have had negative experiences with POAS.  I used to always get my period an hour or so right after I POAS.  So, I'm just going to wait it out.  It's hard because just about every gal on the embryo adoption/donation group on FB who tested at home or had their betas are pregnant.  Here I'm thinking, someone's gonna have to be the statistic.  Someone has to have the negative pregnancy test.  It's probably going to be me Plus I have not had ANY pregnancy symptoms.  None.  Nada.  Zip.  But I am also aware a lot of people don't have any symptoms until much later.  So in the mean time, I am going to try enjoy being PUPO.

You may notice that I edited a few of my last posts.  Babe is concerned that I had too many identifying information and circumstances, so I edited it to keep the posts confidential.  It's hard to blog anonymously while trying to give a complete story.

Anyway, I will be working on my much delayed post about my transfer at NEDC next.  Stay tuned!

PUPO - The Short Version

I thought I'd do a quick update, a short version as I know some people may be waiting for details. My MacBook which I brought with me o this trip, the battery decided to die on me. So I am using my phone to do a quick update.  I will writer another post later with more details. 

NEDC thawed 3 embryos from our first choice donor family. Unfortunately only 2 survived. Two "excellent quality" ( quoting the embryologist) embryos were transferred. One was graded 6AA and was fully hatched. The other was 4AA.  Dr. Keenan said the transfer went "perfectly" without a hitch. 

We are driving home to MN tomorrow.  Grandma is still hanging on.  I'm glad because I did not want her to die on the day of our transfer. 

I will write another post later with more details when I am on a computer.  I'll include my babies' first photo too. 

Today I'm PUPO!!  Pregnant until proven otherwise. 

First beta is on December 2nd.

Transfer Day

I started of today with an appointment with AcuGirl at 9 am this morning.  I always enjoy my acu sessions, and pray each time she walks near my door that the session isn't over yet.   I had previously asked about doing a session after the transfer too, but she said based on their experience at her clinic, the success rate is the same as just doing it prior to.  So I won't see her again until I hear my pregnancy test result.

My transfer was at 11:30 am, but at 10:30, I had to empty my bladder, take my valium and start drinking water.  I had to make sure that I had a full bladder by 11:30.  I was worried about how much water I needed to drink because during my first IVF transfer, my bladder was SO full.  I desperately needed to pee during and after the transfer, but I had to lay there for 10 minute before I was allowed to go pee.

So this time, I was very cautious about how much water I would take in.  We checked in at 11 am, and by then, the valium had started to take effect.  I was starting to feel woozy and needed help from Babe to walk into the IVF suite.  I changed into my gown, cap and booties, and Babe changed into scrubs, cap and booties.  Amy, the nurse (the same nurse from retrieval day) gave us our discharge instructions - bed rest for 48 hours, no exercise, no showering for 48 hours (eww!), no sex still pregnancy test, etc.  She also put my ID tag on my right ankle, not my wrist.  This was different.  I guess it makes it easier for the doctor and the embryologist to confirm the tags since it is closer to them at my ankle instead of my hand.  Then I asked the nurse a question (probably a "dumb" question), I asked the nurse would I have to worry about sneezing or coughing too hard (I do tend to sneeze really hard).  She said not to worry.  She gave me an illustration:  Imagine a pea sandwiched between 2 pieces of bread.  If you sneeze or cough, it may move a bit, but it would not fall out.  That made me feel better.

Then Dr. Hopeful came in.  I was glad she was the one doing the transfer too.  As of this morning, both the embryos have grown to 4-cells.  Embryo #1 was a bit slow at 4-cell ( I think they like to see it at 8-cell by now), but Embryo #2 seemed to be on target at 4-cell, considering that was ICSI'd one day later.  It made me feel better that there was at least one embryo that was on target for growth.  She also gave us pictures of our 2 embryos and some other eggs that didn't fertilize.  I was so excited that I actually got photos of my embryos.  Proof that they exists!  I'll post those pictures later.

We then went into procedure room.  I'm pretty sure it was the same room my egg retrieval was done it, but this was the first time I noticed a large sliding window that joined to the embryology lab.  I laid on the examination table and the ultrasound tech put some gel over my belly and did and ultrasound of my uterus and bladder.  I made the comment that this was the first time I've had and external ultrasound, I'm so used to the vaginal ultrasound wand.  A new experience for me.  So, this is what if feels like to have an ultrasound done if you are pregnant!

My bladder looked good, so I did a good job drinking water.  I was glad because I felt comfortable, and not like I really had to pee.  I was also happy that I was able to look at the ultrasound screen from where I was laying.  Then Dr. Hopeful came in.  She put in a speculum (my least favorite part!), cleaned the cervix, and did a trial transfer.  I think this is done just so she knows exactly where to put the catheter.  Then she put in another catheter with the embryos in it and said 'here comes the embryos".
The ultrasound tech pointed out a little white circle indicated by an arrow on screen.  It's a little air bubble where the 2 little embryos are.  Then the catheter was pulled out, and the embryologist checked to make sure that nothing was left behind in the catheter.  And we were done!

I asked Dr. Hopeful about what "delayed ICSI" was.  I thought delayed ICSI was doing ICSI on the eggs that didn't fertilize naturally the first day.  I was wrong.  Dr. Hopeful explained that delayed ICSI meant they did ICSI on the 3 mature eggs on the first day.  Only 1 of the mature eggs ICSI'd fertilized.  Then they waited one day for the other immature eggs to mature a little more and they ICSI'd those.  Out of those immature egg, one more egg fertilized.

Dr. Hopeful said, yup, it's ICSI and DICSI (delayed ICSI).  Of course Babe, being the funny guy he is, named our embryos Icsi (embryo #1) and Dicsi (Embryo #2, from delayed ICSI).  So now we have names for our embryos!

After Dr. Hopeful left, I was left to rest for 10 minutes on the examination table before being allowed to go pee again.  Then it was off to the recovery room to rest/nap for another 30 minutes.  It was quite nice actually.  I was pretty relaxed, thanks to the va.lium.  I had Babe turn off the lights while I tried to nap, and he sat there playing on the iPad.  When the 30 minutes was up, I got dressed, Babe changed out of his scrubs, and I had to pee again before leaving.

We picked up lunch on the way home, and I have been relaxing in the recliner all day.  Spend the afternoon watching daytime TV - Rachel Ray, Dr. Oz, The Doctors, Oprah, etc.  I'm now watching "Julie and Julia".  It's nice to just bum around for a while, and letting Babe take care of me.

Though Icsi is a bit slow in growth, I'm optimistic that Dicsi is at least on target for growth size.  I'm praying that both will continue to grow inside of me and implant.  We are praying for either one or two babies!

So for now, I'm PUPO - pregnant until proven otherwise!

Endome.trin

I was prescribed Endome.trin, a vaginal suppository instead of PIO (progesterone in oil) shots this cycle.  This is used to prepare the uterine lining to nourish and support a fertilized egg after egg retrieval during an IVF cycle.

(image from http://www.ferringfertility.com/medications/endometrin/)

I am grateful for Endome.trin instead of PIO.  But I was directed by the doctor to continue to use this even though my transfer was cancelled.  According the nurse, they want my body to continue mimicking the luteal phase.  I am to continue for a total of 10 days then stop.  I should expect AF a 3 to 5 days after that.

Endome.trin can be messy, but nothing a panty liner cannot fix.  But it can be a real pain, literally.  I've had daily uterine cramps, sometimes mild, but other times intense.  I've also felt cramps like I'm severely constipated, but I'm not.  It feels the worst in the mornings when I first wake up, and I feel the intense need to pee first thing in the morning.  I've already been woken up in the middle of the night with these cramps more than once.  These are normal side effects of Endo.metrin.  During my last IVF cycle, I used Crino.ne gel instead, which is had some side effects, but I don't remember it being like this.

I can handle all these side effects.  The physical discomfort is no big deal.

The kicker about this though is that thanks to these side effects, I am reminded daily and constantly that my transfer was cancelled.  That I should be PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise), that I should be in my 2WW.  Instead, I am waiting to hear if I can see my RE before May 5th.  And yet, I have to experience these side effects.

Thankfully, I only have a few days left to take it.  My last dose will be on Tuesday..... please come soon.

On a positive note, I am feeling better.  I have not cried in bed the last couple of nights now.

Today

Today.

Today would have been my embryo transfer day.

Today I would have been PUPO - pregnant until proven otherwise, a term used for women waiting to find out if their IVF cycle worked.

Today, I would have been on bedrest, relaxing, laying around on our bed or the couch reading, watching movies, or catching up on people's blogs.

Instead, today the lab called to confirm what we already know, that my only 2 embryos have arrested.

Because Dr. Hopeful is currently on vacation, one of her partners, Dr. K called today to follow-up with me.  There wasn't too much more information he could offer me from this cycle.  I will need to follow up with Dr. Hopeful when she gets back from vacation on April 5th.  I will have to leave all my questions I have until I see her face-to-face.

Of course the first available appointment to see her is over a month away on May 5th.  But the receptionist said she would leave a message for Dr. Hopeful and they will try to squeeze me in as soon as possible.   More waiting ahead.

Also, I was told to continue my Endome.trin suppositories for a total of 10 days.  Then I should expect AF to show up within 3 to 5 days of stopping.  Just in time for Easter.  Great.  Such a waste of meds  and effort for nothing.

My sister reminded me last night that around this time a year ago we had been dealing with the disappointment of the BFN from my first IVF.  I looked back at last year's calendar.

March 19th 2009, I found out that we had a BFN from my first IVF.

March 19th 2010, I had my egg retrieval for my second IVF.  It was also the day I found out we could retrieve eggs from the left ovary only.  From there on, things kept going downhill.

I know this may sound silly, but I want to remember today.

Today, March 24th 2010, would have been the day we transfered my embryos back.  It is not to be.

But I want to remember today anyways.  I don't want to forget.