As of yesterday, our copy of the ODA (Open Donation Agreement) with the donor family was signed, notarized and sent via priority mail. It sounds like the donor family did the same as of last week. So, as far as the ODA is concerned, we are set and ready to go for our May transfer. I'm so glad this is taken care of. I am also grateful that the donor family was quick to accept and was committed to getting the ODA completed quickly.
Now, I have to wait for to hear back from Katie with my protocol and what my transfer date it. She said I would receive it before April 15th. So that's what's next. In the past, I received my protocol around the 10th, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed I will get it soon. Only one more week to April!
Showing posts with label ODA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ODA. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Monday, March 17, 2014
Our New Donor Family
On Monday, we found out that our new donor family accepted our match.
On the same day, we found out that Debbie had already reached out to the donor couple to start communications to start working on our Open Donation Agreement (ODA).
On Tuesday, we put our check for the ODA in the mail to Debbie. Found out she was speaking with them the next day .
On Wednesday, I spent about an hour on the phone Debbie finding out more about the donor family. I'm excited about this donor family. This couple has 3 children, a little 2 year old boy and a set of boy/girl twins. I'm happy to find out that this family has very similar background with us in terms of occupation, education and family values. Seems like we also desire the same level of openness.
On Friday, we received a draft copy of the ODA between us and our new donor family. We reviewed it over the weekend. It is very similar to what we had with one of our previous donors, so we are pretty comfortable with it.
Today, we OK'd the ODA with Debbie. I'm assuming we will be receiving a copy of the ODA to be notarized fairly soon this week, unless the donor family has questions or need come changes to the ODA.
Things are moving along nicely.
On the same day, we found out that Debbie had already reached out to the donor couple to start communications to start working on our Open Donation Agreement (ODA).
On Tuesday, we put our check for the ODA in the mail to Debbie. Found out she was speaking with them the next day .
On Wednesday, I spent about an hour on the phone Debbie finding out more about the donor family. I'm excited about this donor family. This couple has 3 children, a little 2 year old boy and a set of boy/girl twins. I'm happy to find out that this family has very similar background with us in terms of occupation, education and family values. Seems like we also desire the same level of openness.
On Friday, we received a draft copy of the ODA between us and our new donor family. We reviewed it over the weekend. It is very similar to what we had with one of our previous donors, so we are pretty comfortable with it.
Today, we OK'd the ODA with Debbie. I'm assuming we will be receiving a copy of the ODA to be notarized fairly soon this week, unless the donor family has questions or need come changes to the ODA.
Things are moving along nicely.
Monday, February 10, 2014
Donor Family Next Steps
Yesterday, my period finally arrived. Five days from my last dose of Es.trace and PIO shot.
Getting my period after a procedure is always hard. Last transfer was hard because I was technically pregnant, even if just barely. Therefore the period indicated I was miscarrying. This transfer is even harder..... as not only was I pregnant, I had a high beta number. We were overjoyed for a few days until we found out it was again, another chemical pregnancy. So yesterday, my period marked that I am again miscarrying. But this time it is harder. My pregnancy was more real. I am experiencing the loss of my babies.
On Friday, I spent over an hour on the phone with Debbie, our counselor that works with donor and recipient families at NEDC. Since we will have to wait until May for our next transfer, we will most likely have to update our home study before we can do our transfer as our current home study expires in April.
From our discussion, I found out some things that I did not know or even had to consider back in May of last year when we did our matches with our first two donor families.
Last week, I had contacted Angie, the patient coordinator at NEDC and requested additional Asian/Caucasian and Asian donor family profiles that had not already been sent to us back in May of last year. I was considering if we should look at profiles of Caucasian families too. I was concerned if Caucasian families would reject an Asian/Caucasian biracial couple like us.
I spoke to Angie on Friday and asked about looking at profiles of Caucasian donor families. She said NEDC does not have any rules or policy against a biracial couple like us adopting Caucasian embryos, so we are more than welcome to request those profiles. I asked if Caucasian families are accepting of a biracial couple like us adopting their embryos. She said she did not know off hand or had any numbers of such cases. It would be up to the donor families to accept or decline our match.
*Note: I asked Angie if NEDC has a policy about us adopting Caucasian embryos, because I knew that NEDC tends to reserve biracial/multi-ethnic embryos for couples of the same ethnicity because the pool of embryos tend to be very small.
So in the mean time, there are lots to think about.
Getting my period after a procedure is always hard. Last transfer was hard because I was technically pregnant, even if just barely. Therefore the period indicated I was miscarrying. This transfer is even harder..... as not only was I pregnant, I had a high beta number. We were overjoyed for a few days until we found out it was again, another chemical pregnancy. So yesterday, my period marked that I am again miscarrying. But this time it is harder. My pregnancy was more real. I am experiencing the loss of my babies.
On Friday, I spent over an hour on the phone with Debbie, our counselor that works with donor and recipient families at NEDC. Since we will have to wait until May for our next transfer, we will most likely have to update our home study before we can do our transfer as our current home study expires in April.
From our discussion, I found out some things that I did not know or even had to consider back in May of last year when we did our matches with our first two donor families.
- NEDC requires a recipient to have at least 6 embryos adopted before a transfer. Because we currently have 2 embryos left from our current donor family, we will need to be matched with at least another donor family to meet the minimum number of embryos. Therefore, we will need to have at least one other ODA (open donation agreement).
- There are no expiration dates on the ODAs.
- If we end up going with a different donor family for our next transfer (not use our existing embryos), we could reserve the current embryos for future siblings, and the current ODA will still be valid. However, because this next transfer will be our third and last at NEDC (we are only allowed three tries), we may have to release our leftover embryos if this next try is not successful.
- For our next transfer, we will need one or two new ODAs, depending on if we end up selecting one or 2 different donor families. We will pay one fee for up to 2 ODAs, but only if we need 2 families to meet the minimum of 6 embryos (minus the 2 we already currently have).
Last week, I had contacted Angie, the patient coordinator at NEDC and requested additional Asian/Caucasian and Asian donor family profiles that had not already been sent to us back in May of last year. I was considering if we should look at profiles of Caucasian families too. I was concerned if Caucasian families would reject an Asian/Caucasian biracial couple like us.
I spoke to Angie on Friday and asked about looking at profiles of Caucasian donor families. She said NEDC does not have any rules or policy against a biracial couple like us adopting Caucasian embryos, so we are more than welcome to request those profiles. I asked if Caucasian families are accepting of a biracial couple like us adopting their embryos. She said she did not know off hand or had any numbers of such cases. It would be up to the donor families to accept or decline our match.
*Note: I asked Angie if NEDC has a policy about us adopting Caucasian embryos, because I knew that NEDC tends to reserve biracial/multi-ethnic embryos for couples of the same ethnicity because the pool of embryos tend to be very small.
So in the mean time, there are lots to think about.
- Do we want to consider asking for profiles of Caucasian donor families, or just look at the limited pool of Asian/Caucasian and Asian families we already have?
- Do we want to stick with blastocysts, or change to embryos from either 2PNs or multi-cells?
- Once we have considered the above, we will actually have to select one or two donor families, and then wait to see if they accept our match.
Whew!! Lots of things to consider.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Beta In The Morning
This is it. It all comes down to this. My beta test is tomorrow morning at 9:40 am CST. The clinic will take my blood, send it to the lab, and fax the results to NEDC. So I probably won't hear from Katie with the official results until about 3 pm in the afternoon.
I've been nervous about my beta, but for the first time I am not only nervous but actually stressed out about this.
I know I should be positive/optimistic about this transfer. Odds are in my favor this time. I can't remember the exact pregnancy rate at NEDC but it's close to 50%. Since it didn't work last time, odds are in my favor this time, right?
It's hard to tell if I am even close to being pregnant. Before my last chemical pregnancy in November, I had never been pregnant before. At least in November I had some implantation spotting. Nothing this time. I don't feel pregnant. I don't feel anything.
There is a lot at stake here. If I am not pregnant from this transfer, there are a lot of things that will need to happen.
I've been nervous about my beta, but for the first time I am not only nervous but actually stressed out about this.
I know I should be positive/optimistic about this transfer. Odds are in my favor this time. I can't remember the exact pregnancy rate at NEDC but it's close to 50%. Since it didn't work last time, odds are in my favor this time, right?
It's hard to tell if I am even close to being pregnant. Before my last chemical pregnancy in November, I had never been pregnant before. At least in November I had some implantation spotting. Nothing this time. I don't feel pregnant. I don't feel anything.
There is a lot at stake here. If I am not pregnant from this transfer, there are a lot of things that will need to happen.
- We have 2 embryos left. That means we need to be matched with another donor family as NEDC wants us to have at least 5 or 6 embryos on hand during a transfer, in case some of the embryos do not survive the thaw.
- That means we will need another ODA (open donation agreement) with the new donor family. That means it will take more time and additional fees for the ODA.
- We will have to wait till May to do the next transfer because of selecting the new family and the time needed to work with the new family on the new ODA.
- Because NEDC requires everyone to have a current home study, we will have to update our home study as our current one expires in April. Not sure how long that will take. And of course additional time and fees.
Sigh...... I know I should not be worried. Or stressed.
I know that again, God is in control, and whatever happens, He's got it. He has a plan for me. I just need to let go and trust.
Please pray for my beta result, and for peace and patience during the wait. Pray also for safety as tomorrow we are under a winter storm warning, with 1 - 5 inches of snow expected during the morning rush hour. Just in time for my drive to the clinic.
Thanks!
Saturday, July 27, 2013
ODAs Signed & Notarized!
Yesterday, I picked Babe up from work, went out to lunch and then stopped by our bank and had our ODAs signed and notarized. We then scanned a copy of each ODA and emailed them to Debbie. I will mail the hard copies of the ODAs to Debbie on Monday. So that is done!
At my initial appointment in May, I was told I needed to order my meds the first week of August. But I have not heard from NEDC about my protocol. Since I now have a date for my September transfer, I emailed, Katie the nurse at NEDC. She said I could go ahead and order my meds, but I won't get my protocol until after 8/15. That means I will have to stay on birth control pills for another 3 weeks (I have been on them since 6/25). I was hoping I would be done sooner, but I guess I'll keep doing what I'm doing.
At least a major part of the process, the ODAs are done! Yay!
Ok, August will be here next week!
At my initial appointment in May, I was told I needed to order my meds the first week of August. But I have not heard from NEDC about my protocol. Since I now have a date for my September transfer, I emailed, Katie the nurse at NEDC. She said I could go ahead and order my meds, but I won't get my protocol until after 8/15. That means I will have to stay on birth control pills for another 3 weeks (I have been on them since 6/25). I was hoping I would be done sooner, but I guess I'll keep doing what I'm doing.
At least a major part of the process, the ODAs are done! Yay!
Ok, August will be here next week!
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Donor Family Photos
We have now received both the draft copies of the Open Donation Agreements for each of the donor families. Babe and I will have to review this in detail this weekend and get back to Debbie if we have any questions or concerns, or if anything needs to be changed. After that we will sign and notarize the contracts and we should be set. Hopefully, we will have a transfer date from NEDC soon.
For ease of discussion, I will refer to our donor families as Family A (our first choice) & Family B (second choice).
Family B sent us 2 pictures of their twins when they first approved us to adopt their embryos. They volunteered the photos back then. Today Debbie sent me an email with more pictures from Family B. They sent us a total of 8 photos, 2 of which we had already received. The photos range from newborn to pretty recent, probably within the last couple of months. Such adorable kids! They also included a family photo including the mom & dad, so now we know what they look like too. Debbie also included a note from the mom of Family B stating that they are grateful and blessed we are moving forward with their precious embryos. She also suggested I consider doing acupuncture for this transfer as there are many benefits to doing so. I am happy she mentioned that as I am planning on doing acupuncture anyways.
I am grateful that we have received more information about Family B, especially the photos. I've even now had a chance to receive communication from the mom (though the note was forwarded). I feel like I have more connection with Family B now, though they are our second choice. They have been so open and gracious with their family's information. I wish we would be able to get more information about Family A like we did with Family B. Family A is our first choice because physically they are a better match for us.
We did not request any photos from Family A, but deep down I was hoping they would volunteer to provide them. We did not offer any photos of ourselves at this point. In fact, Babe would prefer to hold off on providing photos of us until we are pregnant/until a baby is born. This is for our privacy, and also for my peace of mind. I don't know how I would handle it if I'm not able to get pregnant or if I were to miscarry. So, because we did not offer any photos, we would not be comfortable asking Family A for photos.
This leaves me in kind of a dilemma. Family A is our first choice because the baby/babies would like more like us. But we are starting to have a bit more of a connection with Family B. We still have time to change our minds on our preference of donor families, but now I am less confident in our choice.
We are adopting 5 embryos from Family A, and 3 embryos from Family B (we need to have a minimum of 6). Depending on if/how many embryos survive the thaw, we may only need embryos from ONE family.
Should we make our decision based on physical characteristics that match us, or on the fact that we now know more about a certain family? Thoughts?
For ease of discussion, I will refer to our donor families as Family A (our first choice) & Family B (second choice).
Family B sent us 2 pictures of their twins when they first approved us to adopt their embryos. They volunteered the photos back then. Today Debbie sent me an email with more pictures from Family B. They sent us a total of 8 photos, 2 of which we had already received. The photos range from newborn to pretty recent, probably within the last couple of months. Such adorable kids! They also included a family photo including the mom & dad, so now we know what they look like too. Debbie also included a note from the mom of Family B stating that they are grateful and blessed we are moving forward with their precious embryos. She also suggested I consider doing acupuncture for this transfer as there are many benefits to doing so. I am happy she mentioned that as I am planning on doing acupuncture anyways.
I am grateful that we have received more information about Family B, especially the photos. I've even now had a chance to receive communication from the mom (though the note was forwarded). I feel like I have more connection with Family B now, though they are our second choice. They have been so open and gracious with their family's information. I wish we would be able to get more information about Family A like we did with Family B. Family A is our first choice because physically they are a better match for us.
We did not request any photos from Family A, but deep down I was hoping they would volunteer to provide them. We did not offer any photos of ourselves at this point. In fact, Babe would prefer to hold off on providing photos of us until we are pregnant/until a baby is born. This is for our privacy, and also for my peace of mind. I don't know how I would handle it if I'm not able to get pregnant or if I were to miscarry. So, because we did not offer any photos, we would not be comfortable asking Family A for photos.
This leaves me in kind of a dilemma. Family A is our first choice because the baby/babies would like more like us. But we are starting to have a bit more of a connection with Family B. We still have time to change our minds on our preference of donor families, but now I am less confident in our choice.
We are adopting 5 embryos from Family A, and 3 embryos from Family B (we need to have a minimum of 6). Depending on if/how many embryos survive the thaw, we may only need embryos from ONE family.
Should we make our decision based on physical characteristics that match us, or on the fact that we now know more about a certain family? Thoughts?
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
More On The Donor Families & The ODA
Last Friday, we had our phone meeting with Debbie, our counselor from the National Fertility Support Center to go over our Open Donation Agreement (ODA). She had spoken to each family prior to our conversation so she shared some more info about each of the families.
Both sets of families seem like really great families. They are happy to have their embryos chosen to be adopted by us. They also seem very thoughtful and concerned about how we feel and want to respect our privacy. Both families have very similar infertility stories to ours. They both had twins - the first a set of boy twins, and the second a set of boy/girl twins. What's cooler is both sets of twins were born a week from each other.
Debbie shared with us the first names of the both couples, as well as the children's. It was really nice to be able to refer to the couple by name instead of donor numbers. They will now also know our first names. We share a few things in common with the families, things like similar occupations and having the same college degrees. We also enjoy the same type of music, play the same musical instruments, and played the same sports in high school. One of the couples also did acupuncture during one of their IVF cycles. Debbie said it was good to find things that we have in common other than just physical characteristics. It would make it easier and more natural to develop a relationship with the families in the future if we have something in common to talk about and be able to relate to.
We went over the details of the ODA. It was a relief to find out that we are all on the same page regarding communication for the future. One thing that is somewhat new that we talked about is as part of the agreement, we would send MUTUAL updates to each other. That means not only do we provide the donor families with updates of our child(ren), the donor families will also share information and updates about their children (genetic siblings). I think this is a win-win for all parties. In addition, the donor families have agreed to have their identities and contact information be made available to the child(ren) once the child(ren) turns 18. If we decide to have personal contact prior to that, that will be at the discretion of both parties (both us and the donor family).
I am super excited about both our donor families. I have a little bit of a mixed feeling. In a way I wish that I could have a relationship with both families, which could still happen. It would require one or more of the following scenarios:
But if we get pregnant with twins, I don't know if we will try to have anymore children. Argh.... so many possibilities! There is also the possibility that I am not able to get pregnant at all! Then I won't be able to have any relationship with either family at all. And I would hate to disappoint not just myself, but also the donor families.
But I don't want to think about that now. I have to keep reminding myself that God is in control. He has already chosen our child(ren) and that is in His hands.
We received a copy of the ODA that we will sign with one of the families. Babe and I will review that and get back to Debbie with questions or changes. Eventually we will have to have the agreement, which is technically a contract, signed and notarized. We will need to sign 2 agreements, one with each donor family. Then NEDC will assign us a transfer date in September.
Both sets of families seem like really great families. They are happy to have their embryos chosen to be adopted by us. They also seem very thoughtful and concerned about how we feel and want to respect our privacy. Both families have very similar infertility stories to ours. They both had twins - the first a set of boy twins, and the second a set of boy/girl twins. What's cooler is both sets of twins were born a week from each other.
Debbie shared with us the first names of the both couples, as well as the children's. It was really nice to be able to refer to the couple by name instead of donor numbers. They will now also know our first names. We share a few things in common with the families, things like similar occupations and having the same college degrees. We also enjoy the same type of music, play the same musical instruments, and played the same sports in high school. One of the couples also did acupuncture during one of their IVF cycles. Debbie said it was good to find things that we have in common other than just physical characteristics. It would make it easier and more natural to develop a relationship with the families in the future if we have something in common to talk about and be able to relate to.
We went over the details of the ODA. It was a relief to find out that we are all on the same page regarding communication for the future. One thing that is somewhat new that we talked about is as part of the agreement, we would send MUTUAL updates to each other. That means not only do we provide the donor families with updates of our child(ren), the donor families will also share information and updates about their children (genetic siblings). I think this is a win-win for all parties. In addition, the donor families have agreed to have their identities and contact information be made available to the child(ren) once the child(ren) turns 18. If we decide to have personal contact prior to that, that will be at the discretion of both parties (both us and the donor family).
I am super excited about both our donor families. I have a little bit of a mixed feeling. In a way I wish that I could have a relationship with both families, which could still happen. It would require one or more of the following scenarios:
- Some of the embryos not survive the thaw (we don't want that!) and we would require embryos from both families.
- We don't get pregnant the first try and need to go back for a second try with the second donor family, assuming we don't have any embryos left from the first family.
- We get pregnant with the first donor family, and we go back for a second child in the future with the second donor family.
But if we get pregnant with twins, I don't know if we will try to have anymore children. Argh.... so many possibilities! There is also the possibility that I am not able to get pregnant at all! Then I won't be able to have any relationship with either family at all. And I would hate to disappoint not just myself, but also the donor families.
But I don't want to think about that now. I have to keep reminding myself that God is in control. He has already chosen our child(ren) and that is in His hands.
We received a copy of the ODA that we will sign with one of the families. Babe and I will review that and get back to Debbie with questions or changes. Eventually we will have to have the agreement, which is technically a contract, signed and notarized. We will need to sign 2 agreements, one with each donor family. Then NEDC will assign us a transfer date in September.
Friday, June 14, 2013
Moving Along
Our donor families approved us to adopt their embryos on Monday. On Tuesday, we mailed a check for the Open Donation Agreement (ODA) fees to the National Fertility Support Center (NFS). The ODA is a contract that both the donor and recipient families sign agreeing that we will maintain communication if a child is born from the embryos adopted. It includes such things as:
- Information of the child born (name, sex, date of birth, etc.)
- Types of information to be communicated (medical info, development progress, etc)
- Frequency of the communication that will take place and for how long
- Method of communication - email, letters, phone calls, texts, etc.
- Medium of communication - through NFS, licensed adoption agency, attorney, 3rd party or directly between families.
- Whether there will be direct contact in the future between families and genetic siblings.
NFS' roles is to help with our embryo adoption plan and education, preparing us for openness, negotiating of our ODA with the donor families, and to support us through the embryo adoption process. We have an initial meeting over the phone with Debbie, the counselor at NFS scheduled for next Friday. She will help us with the mediation process for the ODA. After this, we will also have phone meetings with each of the donor families.
Today, I spoke with the Briova, the pharmacy that will be providing us with our medications for our September transfer. NEDC works with Briova as they are supposed to be the cheapest ones around. Unlike our previous IVF cycles, this time around our insurance company does not provide any fertility coverage at all. The cost of the meds will be mostly be out of pocket, adding up to around $345. Here is the approximate breakdown of the cost of the drugs:
- Lu.pron - $129
- Es.trace - $195 (for 60 tablets)
- Progesterone in oil (PIO) - $20 (for 4 vials)
- Va.lium - $0.42
Fortunately, because we are doing a FET (frozen embryo transfer), we will not need any drugs that stimulate follicles to produce more eggs. These stims cost thousands of dollars! I was quite surprised at how expensive Es.trace is. This is most likely because NEDC requires that the brand name drug be used instead of the generic. That's more than $3 per tablet, and I have to take 2 - 3 per day! Not sure how long I will need continue taking it after the transfer though.
What has everyone else paid for meds?
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