I just gave myself my VERY LAST Lu.pron shot for this transfer's protocol. Hopefully this will be my last one, at least for a couple of years. Meaning hopefully this May transfer will be successful and I will not have to do any more of these shots until we potentially come back for a sibling in a couple of years.
I have to admit I will miss doing these shots. They are my "favorite" shots as they are the simplest, easiest and quickest shots, with the smallest needles. And I will miss telling Babe, "I need to go shoot myself now!".
What I won't miss are the headaches, hot flashes and crazy dreams I get from them. At least I think the dreams are from the shots. I guess I did not blog about the dreams. Let's just say that they are super wacky but unfortunately I forget most of them after I wake up. I even had a scary nightmare. As in "The Exorcist" and I'm-so-scared-I'm-afraid-to-to-back-to-sleep scary. Hopefully these wacky dreams will end now.
Today I also increased my Es.trace (estrogen) pills to 3 times a day. This will continue for another 8 days until my ultrasound and lab appointment that will determine if my lining is thick enough for transfer. If that's a go (praying it will!), then our transfer will be as scheduled on May 16th. PIO (progesterone in oil) shots will start after that. And after that, off to Knoxville!
12 days to transfer.
10 days till we hop on the plane to Knoxville.
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
A Small Gift
Babe and I went out for Chinese food for our date night tonight. We got this in my fortune cookie at the end of dinner.
"A small gift can bring joy to the whole family"
Let's hope this "small gift" will show up in about 9 months!
Transfer in 16 days. Can't believe we will be hopping on a plan in exactly 2 weeks.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Unexpected Blessing
I received a HUGE unexpected blessing last night.
I was chatting with a friend on FB while watching a movie at home and eating a slice of peach tart when she asked me for my email address and then asked me to check my email. I received an email from a hotel with a confirmation for a hotel reservation. I was like, what's this?
My friend, bless her heart, had sneakily booked us a hotel room for our stay in Knoxville! She is giving us our entire 4 nights of hotel stay for FREE using her credit card points!
Eeeekkk!! We were just talking over lunch about how I needed to book my hotel and car rental yet, and how the price of the hotel we used to stay in had for some reason gone up a lot. I was contemplating staying at a cheaper hotel that we had never been in, but was a little nervous about. I was telling her I may just suck it up and pay more for a nicer and more established hotel. This hotel that we are booked in is really nice, and costs $160 a night, way beyond our budget for a hotel room.
When I looked back at our FB conversation, I see that she had been sneaky, asking me a few questions about where I was looking to book, etc. I am so grateful for her generosity. She said it didn't cost her anything but her credit card points, though she could use it for other stuff for herself. She said it was a pleasure for her to help me out, so I didn't have to not worry about money and, I could, quoting her, ".... relax n enjoy n get pregnant dammit"! I thought that was pretty hilarious.
I am so grateful to her for this generous gift. She is a blessing to me.
Today, I finally booked our rental car. We are renting from Enterprise car rental, another first for us. Wow, this trip is full of firsts and new experiences. I hope that is a good sign for our transfer as well.
On another note, today I increased my Es.trace dosage to one tablet, twice a day, an increase from only half a tablet twice a day. Also today, I was just sitting here surfing on FB when BAM! Holy hot flashes! Out of nowhere came this hot flash. I have never experienced anything like that. For a bit there I thought something was wrong with me, and then I thought oh that's right, I'm on Lu.pron. Usually the only times I have ever felt any hot flashes was in bed at night. This was a first and hopefully not too many more.
On Sunday I had received an email from Debbie, the counselor/mediator that works with NEDC donor families. She passed on a note from my donor family that they are excited to hear about my May transfer date. They wish us the best of luck, and are thinking of us often. It's alway really nice to hear from the donor families. They sound like a great family and are very open to having communication with us, even now, before our transfer. We have decided that we will wait until there is a successful pregnancy before communicating directly with them, and are understand our decision.
17 days to transfer!
I was chatting with a friend on FB while watching a movie at home and eating a slice of peach tart when she asked me for my email address and then asked me to check my email. I received an email from a hotel with a confirmation for a hotel reservation. I was like, what's this?
My friend, bless her heart, had sneakily booked us a hotel room for our stay in Knoxville! She is giving us our entire 4 nights of hotel stay for FREE using her credit card points!
Eeeekkk!! We were just talking over lunch about how I needed to book my hotel and car rental yet, and how the price of the hotel we used to stay in had for some reason gone up a lot. I was contemplating staying at a cheaper hotel that we had never been in, but was a little nervous about. I was telling her I may just suck it up and pay more for a nicer and more established hotel. This hotel that we are booked in is really nice, and costs $160 a night, way beyond our budget for a hotel room.
When I looked back at our FB conversation, I see that she had been sneaky, asking me a few questions about where I was looking to book, etc. I am so grateful for her generosity. She said it didn't cost her anything but her credit card points, though she could use it for other stuff for herself. She said it was a pleasure for her to help me out, so I didn't have to not worry about money and, I could, quoting her, ".... relax n enjoy n get pregnant dammit"! I thought that was pretty hilarious.
I am so grateful to her for this generous gift. She is a blessing to me.
Today, I finally booked our rental car. We are renting from Enterprise car rental, another first for us. Wow, this trip is full of firsts and new experiences. I hope that is a good sign for our transfer as well.
On another note, today I increased my Es.trace dosage to one tablet, twice a day, an increase from only half a tablet twice a day. Also today, I was just sitting here surfing on FB when BAM! Holy hot flashes! Out of nowhere came this hot flash. I have never experienced anything like that. For a bit there I thought something was wrong with me, and then I thought oh that's right, I'm on Lu.pron. Usually the only times I have ever felt any hot flashes was in bed at night. This was a first and hopefully not too many more.
On Sunday I had received an email from Debbie, the counselor/mediator that works with NEDC donor families. She passed on a note from my donor family that they are excited to hear about my May transfer date. They wish us the best of luck, and are thinking of us often. It's alway really nice to hear from the donor families. They sound like a great family and are very open to having communication with us, even now, before our transfer. We have decided that we will wait until there is a successful pregnancy before communicating directly with them, and are understand our decision.
17 days to transfer!
Friday, April 25, 2014
National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW)
So..... this week is National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW), from April 20th - 26th. It is the 25th year is has been celebrated. It is organized by RESOLVE to encourage the infertility community to spread the message and educated others about infertility.
Many people have posted on Face.book about NIAW and shared their infertility journeys. I have never been very open about our infertility to our friends and family, except in this blog. It's just one of those things that Babe and I are not comfortable sharing with others publicly, except for a few close friends and family, though many people probably have already guessed that we are dealing with infertility. I think I may be more open about this, when and if we get to "the other side", i.e. when we are finally able to bring a child home.
I had intentions to participate this year on this blog, to write a post or share a couple of articles. But I got busy. And lazy. And the next thing I know, it's already the end of the week. Oh well.
Today, one of my fellow blogger friends posted this quote that beautifully states the definition of infertility:
"The English language lacks the words to mourn an absence. For the loss of a parent, grandparent, spouse, child or friend, we have all manner of words and phrases, some helpful some not. Still we are conditioned to say something, even if it is only "I'm sorry for your loss". But for an absence, for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture the particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent ephemeral shadows our their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?"
- Laura Bush, Spoken From the Heart
I love that this quote describes the feeling of emptiness of missing something that was never there in the first place. How can you miss something that was not there? You can. And you may never understand that feeling until you walk the path of infertility.
Today, I started my Es.trace pills. Half a tablet, twice a day. It's always interesting trying to cut your tiny pills in half. Thank goodness for the pill cutter.
 |
| Cutting the Es.trace pills in half |
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Endometrial Biopsy Done!
Today, I had two different appointments involving my uterus. In the morning I went to my local RE clinic that does my monitoring for NEDC to have my baseline ultrasound and blood work done. Later this afternoon, after a bit of chasing down my results (NEDC again did not receive the faxed results even though the clinic said they faxed it earlier), I was told my lining was 2.1 mm and my estradiol was less than 2, both which are good numbers. I start my Es.trace (estrogen) pill tomorrow, half a pill twice a day.
After that appointment, I had my endometrial biopsy with my gynecologist in the afternoon. Half an hour prior to my appointment, I took 2 A.leve tablets for pain relief. The procedure went about how I expected it. There was not a lot of pain, but definitely a lot of *discomfort*.
The goal of this "biopsy" is not really to collect a sample of the lining, but was to "scratch" the surface of the lining, to fluff (my words) things up a bit. Research has shown that it can help with implantation for women that have a hard time getting pregnant. And Dr. Keenan recommends this for patients doing their third attempts at NEDC.
**TMI Warning**
Here's a brief description of the procedure. If you don't want to know the details, you should skip this part.
After inserting the speculum, the doctor washed the cervix with a special solution. He explained that it is the same stuff they use for surgeries at the hospital. The cervix was then grasped and help in place with a clamp. He explained that novocain (local anesthetic) would be administered to the cervix. At first I thought it was going to be swabbed on, but he said nope, it was going to be injected. He injected the novocain twice and it didn't feel bad at all. I thought well, if being injected didn't hurt, then the biopsy couldn't be that bad. And I figured since I had novocain, I should be OK, right? Well..... I was wrong.
I wished I had asked to look at the tool he was using but I was too nervous. The tool was inserted through the cervix into the uterus and was moved up and down quickly. He did this a few times and I really started cramping up. I was not in a lot of pain, but it was extremely uncomfortable. He remove the tool (I'm assuming to remove some tissue or clean the tool), put it back, and repeated as before. This time it got REALLY uncomfortable, I actually made an "ugly" face and said "ow, ow, ow". Looking back, I guess it did hurt after all (and I think I have a fairly high pain tolerance).
The good thing was it was done very quickly. I think from the start to the end, it took less than 10 minutes. I was so grateful that it was done. The doctor had me lie down to rest for about 10 minutes before he said I could get dressed and leave. I took advantage of the time to read a magazine catch up on celebrity news.
Because the goal of this procedure was not to collect a sample, no tissue was sent to pathology. As the doctor said, it's one less thing I have to pay for.
I'm so glad this is over with. I was quite nervous about having to do this. However, I'd take an endometrial biopsy over a D&C any day.
After that appointment, I had my endometrial biopsy with my gynecologist in the afternoon. Half an hour prior to my appointment, I took 2 A.leve tablets for pain relief. The procedure went about how I expected it. There was not a lot of pain, but definitely a lot of *discomfort*.
The goal of this "biopsy" is not really to collect a sample of the lining, but was to "scratch" the surface of the lining, to fluff (my words) things up a bit. Research has shown that it can help with implantation for women that have a hard time getting pregnant. And Dr. Keenan recommends this for patients doing their third attempts at NEDC.
**TMI Warning**
Here's a brief description of the procedure. If you don't want to know the details, you should skip this part.
After inserting the speculum, the doctor washed the cervix with a special solution. He explained that it is the same stuff they use for surgeries at the hospital. The cervix was then grasped and help in place with a clamp. He explained that novocain (local anesthetic) would be administered to the cervix. At first I thought it was going to be swabbed on, but he said nope, it was going to be injected. He injected the novocain twice and it didn't feel bad at all. I thought well, if being injected didn't hurt, then the biopsy couldn't be that bad. And I figured since I had novocain, I should be OK, right? Well..... I was wrong.
I wished I had asked to look at the tool he was using but I was too nervous. The tool was inserted through the cervix into the uterus and was moved up and down quickly. He did this a few times and I really started cramping up. I was not in a lot of pain, but it was extremely uncomfortable. He remove the tool (I'm assuming to remove some tissue or clean the tool), put it back, and repeated as before. This time it got REALLY uncomfortable, I actually made an "ugly" face and said "ow, ow, ow". Looking back, I guess it did hurt after all (and I think I have a fairly high pain tolerance).
The good thing was it was done very quickly. I think from the start to the end, it took less than 10 minutes. I was so grateful that it was done. The doctor had me lie down to rest for about 10 minutes before he said I could get dressed and leave. I took advantage of the time to read a magazine catch up on celebrity news.
Because the goal of this procedure was not to collect a sample, no tissue was sent to pathology. As the doctor said, it's one less thing I have to pay for.
I'm so glad this is over with. I was quite nervous about having to do this. However, I'd take an endometrial biopsy over a D&C any day.
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